Fansided

NBA Tank Rankings: Why won’t it stop?

By Matt Rutkowski

Mar 12, 2017; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Los Angeles Lakers head coach Luke Walton against the Philadelphia 76ers during the first half at the Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports
Mar 12, 2017; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Los Angeles Lakers head coach Luke Walton against the Philadelphia 76ers during the first half at the Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports /
facebooktwitterreddit
Prev
2 of 6
Next
Mar 12, 2017; Phoenix, AZ, USA; Phoenix Suns guard Devin Booker prior to the game against the Portland Trail Blazers at Talking Stick Resort Arena. Portland defeated Phoenix 110-101. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports
Mar 12, 2017; Phoenix, AZ, USA; Phoenix Suns guard Devin Booker prior to the game against the Portland Trail Blazers at Talking Stick Resort Arena. Portland defeated Phoenix 110-101. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports /

5. Phoenix Suns

After a couple weeks of glorious absence, the Phoenix Suns are back home in the Tank Rankings. Let’s welcome them by doing nothing of value. That’s been their thing of late.

They followed a three game win-streak by losing three of their next four. Their one win in that time was one of the most incredible last-second comebacks in recent memory, but their three losses included a “by rule, somebody had to win” loss to the Los Angeles Lakers. The Lakers have “loss” right in their name. It’s a disgrace. Tyler Ulis’ heroics can’t wash away that shame.

I’ve avoided putting Phoenix in this series for a while because I don’t know what to talk about with them. That hasn’t really changed. They’re hapless, and boring, and not so boring that they’re entertaining. They’re like one of those optical illusions where you stare at a bunch of dots until a picture comes through, except after you make your eyes hurt searching for the hidden image it turns out to be a balled up sock next to a trash can

Looking for bright spots isn’t a good idea. Staring at the sun is bad for your vision. It’s best just to look away. Do you really want the last thing you see clearly to be Alex Len? Do you want this face burned into your retinas?

It could be worse, I suppose. Hopefully it can get better. If Devin Booker is the future you have to root for, then you’re better off not having one. Something needs to save them. The potential of the unknown is better than reality.

Of course they’re going to end up with Lavar Ball. That’s how this has to go.

Home/NBA