WWE WrestleMania 33: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar is a bad choice for the main event

Photo credit: WWE.com
Photo credit: WWE.com /

Putting two older part-time superstars in the main event of WrestleMania 33 is a dumb idea, WWE. Especially with the array of talent you have on your main roster.

This year’s WrestleMania 33 card contains Kevin Owens, AJ Styles, Cesaro, (a banged-up) Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Braun Strowman, Sami Zayn and many other names, but the main event of the evening will likely be between a 50-year-old former WCW superstar and a 39-year-old former UFC Heavyweight Champion wrestling for less than 10 minutes over RAW’s main championship.

Now, let me clarify: I love both Goldberg and Brock Lesnar. Goldberg was one of the biggest stars in wrestling at his peak in WCW and Brock Lesnar is a genetic freak that has one of the greatest managers/agents/valets in the history of professional wrestling by his side.

But, please explain to me how a 50-year-old with two maneuvers in his bag of tricks and a performer that wrestles less than 10 times a year is the biggest draw for the biggest show of the calendar year for WWE.

Styles himself tried to explain matters in a recent podcast appearance and he showed why is he was he says he is and that’s phenomenal.

"“I can tell you this: Goldberg, and what him and Brock have done together, have made sure that people are going to come and watch WrestleMania. They want to see this match, and if they have to come see them they also have to come to see me. And now I have the opportunity to impress them, while they’re there and I’ll make AJ fans and Shane McMahon fans out of them. That’s my job, and so, am I mad at these guys for being Superstars like, the ultimate, that everybody knows? Absolutely not. When they [said], ‘Oh, part-timers, yeah, [they] come in and do that.’ You know what? Let them be part-timers, if they can do that, then they have earned it and to tell you the truth, when they’re not here that’s more money in my pocket. So that’s not a bad thing, ya know? Let’s work together. I don’t care who’s on top, just as long as we’re all able to pay our bills.”(The Gorilla Position Podcast, h/t: SB Nation‘s Cageside Seats)"

I give all the credit in the world to AJ for being a team player about this. He’s one of the biggest stars in professional wrestling and deserves a bigger spotlight than he’s gotten at these last two WrestleManias, but he’s taken the high road on this subject and I applaud him for that.

Here’s where the issues lie with this Goldberg-Lesnar match:

  • There’s no telling whether or not Goldberg will extend his current WWE contract past WrestleMania 33 this Sunday and despite Lesnar under contract for a while longer, the aura around The Beast Incarnate has lost some value since getting kicked in the groin repeatedly by The Undertaker last summer and getting beat in less than 90 seconds by Goldberg last November. (There was also that Royal Rumble match elimination by Goldberg on Lesnar, too.)
  • This match’s draw is about as big as the opening match on one of those late ’90s, early 2000s pay-per-views you watch on the WWE Network from time to time when there’s not much on Netflix that peaks your interest.
  • Plus, we’ve already seen this match once at WrestleMania … and it was a bigger flop than the main event at WrestleMania 32 with Roman Reigns beating Triple H for the gold in the most predictable match outcome of the last decade. (I’m assuming here, but it was that obvious.)

And, piggybacking off the predictability of the Reigns-HHH snoozefest that was last year’s WrestleMania main event, it’s pretty obvious that Lesnar’s winning this match, right? I’ve already mentioned the Goldberg contract situation. If you pay attention to betting odds in Las Vegas, Lesnar should be a -9000 favorite on Sunday. (For those that don’t gamble, Lesnar should be a bigger favorite than Michael Jordan playing a one-on-one game against LaVar Ball.)

Don’t get me wrong, the build for this match hasn’t been as bad as Lesnar’s last main event at WrestleMania. You remember that one. It’s when Lesnar and Reigns looked like two Black Friday shoppers fighting over the last George Foreman grill on sale with the WWE World Championship. Thankfully, Seth Rollins showed up with a gold briefcase and everything was saved by Crossfit Jesus himself.

Lesnar’s advocate, the eventual WWE Hall of Famer Paul Heyman, has cut some wonderful promos in the weeks leading up to Sunday’s match against Goldberg. (When in doubt, always trust Paul Heyman.) Goldberg got some retribution for an earlier F-5 on a RAW episode a few weeks ago this past Monday night with a huge Spear as Lesnar was looking to take the fight to the champion.

The build has been fine, but the match won’t be. Why won’t it be? Well, let’s do some math.

Since Goldberg returned to the ring at Survivor Series, he’s been in action for a grand total of … 1:26 at Survivor Series, 3:21 in the Royal Rumble match and 0:22 at Fastlane when he won the Universal Championship against Kevin Owens.

For those keeping track, that’s 5:09 of ring time for Bill Goldberg since November. As great as The Man looks for being 50 years old, it’s not really fair and it’s not really expected for him to have a long match. Squash matches made him who he was in WCW during his prime years and it’s safe to say this match won’t be a long one, despite him likely coming out the loser.

The point is, why is this the main event of the night?

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho for the United States Championship is going to be a wonderful match. John Cena — yes, the guy you can’t see and still despise — and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse is going to be a much better match than Goldberg vs. Lesnar III. Hell, even Roman Reigns himself is going to have a better match with The Undertaker and The Deadman can’t even get through a match anymore without having significant pain in his body.

This is 2017. It’s not 2004. It’s not 1998.

There are more efficient options for WWE at WrestleMania 33. People are still going to watch the show if Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton is the main event. Fans will still tune in if John Cena is in another main event at WrestleMania (and really, his mixed tag team match should be the final match on the card).

Next: The best match at every WrestleMania in history

Out of all the options WWE had for their main event of the Show of Shows, they picked a bad one.