5 things the Portland Trailblazers can do to get back in the series

1. …now you won’t.

You can’t get rid of the 3-point line. That’d be ridiculous. What you can do, however, is meticulously paint it so that the arc matches the grain of the hardwood exactly. People would think it’s gone, but it wouldn’t be. It’d be a tedious for a couple interns with acrylics and brushes, but it’d be worth it.

“But Matt,” I hear you complain, “The Warriors have only made three more 3-pointers than the Blazers so far this series. This idea doesn’t really do much to help. What’s the point?”

My answer to that is Airbud.

This may conflict with another idea I had, though. You know how in grade school basketball games or in some bowling alleys they only have scoreboards that display two digits? Like, you hit 100 and it resets to zero just like Y2K didn’t? Portland is at home for the next two games. They could do this.

Take, for instance, yesterday’s game. Popular opinion is that the Warriors won 110-81. But picture this alternate scenario:

There’s five minutes left in the game. The Blazers are down 68-99. James Michael McAdoo is at the line for his second free throw. The game seems out of reach.

But then, McAdoo puts the second shot through and suddenly the sad trumpet sound from The Price is Right players, and the Blazers are suddenly up 68-00. Everyone is confused. Terry Stotts looks over at Steve Kerr and winks.

Next: The Boston Celtics and the 5 biggest NBA first round upsets of all time

One of these two ideas would work, but not both. I guess the Blazers are to decide. They have a lot to think about before Game 3.