The Table Doesn’t Lie: Brave, stupid Bournemouth

Bournemouth are slipping into a trouble, but they deserve respect all the same, while Manchester City continue to thrill.

Related Story: The 30 worst signings in Premier League history

20. Crystal Palace (preseason prediction: 11th, difference: -9)
19. Bournemouth (8th, -11)
18. Swansea (17th, -1)
17. Leicester (15th, -2)
16. Everton (7th, -9)
15. West Ham (10th, -5)
14. Brighton (20th, +6)
13. Stoke (16th, +3)
12. Southampton (9th, -3)
11. Huddersfield (18th, +7)

There is so much to like about Bournemouth, like that Marc Pugh, who has started three games for them this season, arrived at the club from Hereford, who ceased to exist in 2014, in 2010, for less than $150k. Or like that the last club Harry Arter played for before he played for Bournemouth was Woking, who drew 1-1 with Hartlepool at the weekend to move seventh in the Conference Premier.

Or like that Charlie Daniels was bought from Leyton Orient for under $250k, and if you type his name into Google you need to navigate through 12 pages of articles about the country music legend of the same name before learning anything about the Cherries left-back, which as it happens tells you everything you need to know about the Cherries left-back. (Or like that Adam Smith, who is a right-back and not a dead economist, isn’t even that lucky.)

Or like that, like Pugh and Daniels and Arter, captain Simon has been with the club since they were still in League One in 2012-13. Or, finally, like that manager Eddie Howe has been there since 2012 as well, and five years and two promotions later is still regularly trotting out six whole players who represented the club in the third tier of the English Football League.

All of which is to say it’s kind of remarkable Bournemouth are in the Premier League at all, let alone in their third consecutive season in the Premier League, and let alonest they’ve done it all playing a pass-first, possession-oriented style typically reserved for players who didn’t used to play in the Non-League. The Cherries, you see, are not the team logic or history or possibly even smart management suggests they should be. But here they are.

Granted, none of this is particularly new territory. The glowing Howe profiles, the Arsene Wenger replacement rumors, were written long ago, when the Cherries were still new to the top flight. In their first season, they exceeded expectations simply by not getting relegated. In their second, a top-half finish offered a giddy sense of progress. Increasingly, however and unfortunately, it seems their third could be their last.

Bournemouth find themselves in 19th place after seven games, ahead of only Crystal Palace, the less said about whose disastrous start to 2017-18 the better. Howe’s side have four points, have scored four goals, have conceded 11. And all this despite a relatively easy schedule, with early-season matches against West Brom, Watford, Brighton, Everton and Leicester to go along with less winnable games (which they lost) against Manchester City and Arsenal.

To make matters worse, while the Cherries have floundered, the clubs they’ll need to slip up in order to avoid relegation have flourished. Burnley are sixth, Watford are eighth and the worst of the newly-promoted sides so far, Brighton, are five places and three points ahead of Bournemouth. Only Swansea, a point and a place above the Cherries, have been as bad as advertised. (Palace, of course, have been far worse).

It’s still far too early to say with any confidence Bournemouth will go down, or even that they’re favorites to go down, but it does seem increasingly likely they’ll be in the thick of an honest-to-goodness relegation battle, something they’ve avoided the past two seasons thanks to their own fast starts and/or the dysfunction of at least three other teams in the league.

Regardless, with the team struggling, and the novelty of their top flight status mostly having worn off, the sheer ridiculousness of Bournemouth’s approach is worth highlighting more than ever. Take, for example, their only win of the season so far, a 2-1 at home against Brighton, and a tidy illustration of everything that makes them both special and at risk of relegation.

Next: 25 best club soccer teams of all time

The Cherries, seeking their first points of the campaign, spent the majority of the match passing their pretty way toward the final third, before failing to score, or even create a decent chance. Only after falling behind, and bringing Jordon Ibe off the bench, did Bournemouth get a clear sight of goal.

The Brighton match was only one riff on what is a very familiar pattern of play for the club. They did the same thing against Manchester City, taking the lead thanks to a Daniels wonder goal, before succumbing to clearly superior opposition. And they did the same thing against Leicester at the weekend, except this time they did create some decent chances, and missed.

The difference between good Bournemouth and bad Bournemouth is mostly a matter of execution in the final third, which is often a product of their willingness to take risks in the final third, and it’s all understandably patchy given the pedigree of so many of their attacking players. But this is exactly what makes the Cherries so impressive.

We’re no longer as wowed as we once were by a central midfielder dropping deep to take the ball from his center-backs, or calling for the ball even with a man on his back. But it’s nonetheless remarkable to watch the same player do it first in the Conference and then in League One and then in the Championship and then in the Premier League.

Better teams have aspired to much less than this Cherries side, and so while there’s a good chance they continue to struggle, we might at least commend them for the way they’re doing it while we still have the chance. Bravery is a close cousin of stupidity, of course, but then that’s exactly what makes it worthwhile.

10. West Brom (12th, +2)
9. Newcastle (14th, +5)
8. Watford (13th, +5)
7. Liverpool (3rd, -4)
6. Burnley (19th, +13)
5. Arsenal (6th, +1)
4. Chelsea (5th, +1)
3. Tottenham (4th, +1)
2. Manchester United (2nd, –)
1. Manchester City (1st, –)

The most impressive thing about Manchester City’s 1-0 win against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge on Saturday wasn’t how dominant they looked against a very, very, very good team, but the fact they did it all with Fabian Delph playing as a hybrid left-back-central midfielder.

This isn’t to criticize Delph, who played well, but also: imagine being told five years ago you would one day soon watch Fabian Delph start a top-of-the-table clash for Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City as a left-back.

City right now look just about exactly as good as the title favorites they were billed as, and in a week in which Carlo Ancelotti was fired for failing to do a job deemed too easy to tell us anything positive about Guardiola, this feels like as good a time as any to underline just how exceptional the City manager is.

There’s plenty more to come from Guardiola, who has another tussle with Antonio Conte (and Jurgen Klopp), and two each with Jose Mourinho and Mauricio Pochettino to confuse/amaze us all over again, but already this season he’s shown how creative and adaptable and intelligent he is. If nothing else, perhaps the Guardiola’s Overrated Brigade have finally learned what to do with their awful opinions.