Every NBA team’s worst Thanksgiving road trip companion

Atlanta Hawks: Luke Babbit

“So Matt, I got this really awesome timeshare when I was down in Miami. Actually, I got like five. You want to go in on a couple of them with me?”

“Not really. I don’t have a lot of money to throw around.”

“Dude, these basically pay for themselves. You’re thinking about it all the wrong way. You’re getting access to a million dollar beachfront property for only a fraction of the price.”

“Yeah, but you have to pay for it before it starts paying you. Besides, I don’t really go to Miami.”

“Is that because you don’t want to or because you don’t have own own convenient place to rest your head while you’re there?”

“Let’s say both.”

“Well if you go in on one of these timeshares, that might all change. Think how much easier it’d be to pick up chicks if you can take them home to your own balcony overlooking a mostly quiet beach.”

“I’m engaged.”

“So?”

“So, no.”

“I’ll put you down for a maybe. I’ve got your email and your phone number. It’d be great if you could pop by this Thursday night. I’m giving a presentation on this, and I’d love for you to be there.”

I can’t say for certain that Luke Babbit has a portfolio of bad investments that he’d want to drag other people into, but I think I’d be more surprised if he didn’t. I feel 65 percent confident about this and that he’d take any opportunity in a closed space to rope someone else in. I don’t do well under sales pressure.