Ball boys’ new coach has history of selling meat out of his trunk

LiAngelo and LaMelo Ball are off to a new adventure in a wonderful new land. If video games taught me anything about journeys, it’s that you need rations. Meat.

But this isn’t a game. Well, it’s not a video game. It’s still a basketball game, but not like a game in the larger, metaphorical sense. LeSser and LeAst Ball have both moved to Lithuania to start their careers as professional basketball players. It’s going to be an unfamiliar  world with an unfamiliar language and an unfamiliar coach.

Coaches are always a fun place to start looking at a team. For example, what’s more fun than Billy Donovan. I’d like to know some things about the dude coaching Prienu Vytautas. Luckily, Fran Fraschilla is on the case. Maybe it’s less of a case. More of a locker.

Meat. Trunk meat. That’s not where meat goes usually.

This is strange. Strange isn’t necessarily bad, but it isn’t necessarily good either. On one hand, people with multiple sources of income are often the people most financially stable. It’s good to diversify, and I’ve always told that the two pillars of the modern economy are sports and meat.

On the other hand: what.

I’ve bought a few things out of trunks in my time, but none of those items were perishable unless you include the perishing musical tastes of a middle schooler who doesn’t own a CD player and is banned from downloading Kazaa and needs to bother his friends into making him CDs. There needs to be proper refrigeration, and strong sealing, and hopefully a well balanced scale. Otherwise, you look like this:

There are worse things to look like, I suppose. Lonzo ball did cut his hair.

Next: 30 best NBA social media accounts to follow

Regardless, one hopes there will be available protein to Team Ball this coming season. I’ll try to head out there and report back myself.

Meat.