Fansided

One New Year’s resolution for every NBA team

By Matt Rutkowski

MOSCOW, RUSSIA - DECEMBER 21, 2017: A woman dressed as the Snow queen uses a mobile phone during the launching of the new Christmas and New Year's Eve themed train at Krasnaya Presnya Depot on Line 5 (Ring Line) of the Moscow Underground; named 'A Journey to Christmas', the new train features characters of fairy tales, sights of Moscow and pictures of winter. Sergei Bobylev/TASS (Photo by Sergei Bobylev\TASS via Getty Images)
MOSCOW, RUSSIA - DECEMBER 21, 2017: A woman dressed as the Snow queen uses a mobile phone during the launching of the new Christmas and New Year's Eve themed train at Krasnaya Presnya Depot on Line 5 (Ring Line) of the Moscow Underground; named 'A Journey to Christmas', the new train features characters of fairy tales, sights of Moscow and pictures of winter. Sergei Bobylev/TASS (Photo by Sergei Bobylev\TASS via Getty Images) /
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LOS ANGELES, CA – DECEMBER 20: DeAndre Jordan
LOS ANGELES, CA – DECEMBER 20: DeAndre Jordan /

LA Clippers – Start making the inevitable move to wheelchair basketball

It’s difficult being the first of anything. I was the first person to eat funyuns and cheese dip for dinner every day for six years straight. Do you think that was fun? Do you think that was easy? It wasn’t. But it was worth it.

This is what the Clippers need to do. They tried the “playing basketball on two legs like typical NBA players” thing, but it hasn’t quite worked out. Chris Paul comes then Chris Paul leaves. Intact, active ligaments come then broken, stretched out ligaments leave. Everyone gets hurt, no one wins championships, and Doc Rivers is probably somewhere looking aghast at something. How does he make his voice sound like that?

What needs to happen now is a complete cultural shift. Bring out the wheelchairs. This way, Blake can get injured and keep going. This way Teodosic can play again. This way we can see DeAndre Jordan dunk from a seated position. You know he can. You know he wants to.

Imagine the wheelchair dunk contest for a second. Zach Lavine would have been able to compete last year. Instead, we just got drones droning and someone from the Pacers winning something. Neither of those are acceptable.

Now, I don’t know whether this is legal within the NBA rulebook. It’s possible that they didn’t include anything about it because they didn’t think anyone would actually think to do something this daft. That’s exactly where the Clippers want to be. Too stupid to win, too weird to lose.

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