One New Year’s resolution for every NBA team

Denver Nuggets – Learn to clone and miniaturize so all of the world can have their very own Pocket Jokic.

This is less a resolution than it is something else and it’s something else that probably doesn’t have a single noun descriptor, but it should happen.

Everyone loves Nikola Jokic, but the problem is he is very tall and is only one person. We’ve had this problem in the past with other large singular people like Shaquille O’Neal and Abraham Lincoln. They both went their entire playing career without being multiplied and miniaturized. We have to learn from the past.

And this is the 21st century, after all. Things are different now. I’ve not exactly had it confirmed to me that cloning and shrinking is possible, but I’m pretty sure someone would have told me by now if it weren’t.

Here’s how I picture the whole thing going. Somewhere around mid-February, there’s a “Jokic Bobblehead Night.” You spend a few weeks training the miniature Jokices to just bobble their heads back and forth in a familiar fashion. I’m not sure the best way to package them, but we’ll figure it out.

You hand them out to fans with the instructions of “please don’t tear the heads off as the bobbleheads are alive.” Then around the middle of the second quarter, all the mini Jokic’s drop the facade and sprint out to midcourt to perform a small dance routine.

Depending on how the dance is received and how kindly the families treated the mini-Jokices while they were still in bobblehead mode, they would have the option to return to where they were or they can live the rest of their lives in a mini-Jokic society in a cavern deep below Denver where they will sit.

Waiting.