The Golden State superstar teams up with comedian Rudy Mancuso in a new sponsored video promoting Brita water filters. The video (and accompanying song) certainly raise some interesting questions. We do our best to provide the answers.
Comedian and internet personality Rudy Mancuso posted a new video to his YouTube channel yesterday featuring NBA superstar Stephen Curry. The sponsored content follows Mancuso’s attempts to stick to his New Year’s resolutions with a little help from the Warriors’ sharpshooter.
How can we put this delicately? The video is … interesting.
See for yourself.
While strange commercials are nothing new for Curry this one, in particular, has left us with a list of questions we have no choice but to try and answer on our own through conjecture, flights-of-fancy, and lies.
Why are they so mad?
The opening of the video shows Curry and Mancuso performing some sort of Yoga, or perhaps Tai chi while straight up mean-mugging each other. Aren’t these activities supposed to calm you down and help you find your center?
Our best guess is that this is the first few seconds after a heated exchange between the two that led to Curry pushing Mancuso to the ground ruining his favorite jeans by ripping two enormous holes into the knees. The two men are proud, but quickly felt shame for their hot-headed ways and decided to calm down with some tandem exercise. There’s no other reason why two men whose outfits are so close to matching could possibly be so mad at each other while also practicing Eastern spirituality.
Why don’t they match?
Either they’re supposed to match, and the wardrobe department for this video just got it wrong or there was no talk of matching outfits and the wardrobe department really got it wrong. Either way, it’s distracting.
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They’re somehow simultaneously too close to matching for it to not be planned, yet too far away from matching for it to be on purpose.
Curry probably showed up wearing that, leading to a pretty funny moment where the two stars of the video realized how closely their outfits resembled each other. He couldn’t change because he only brought the clothes on his back to the video shoot. Mancuso had the opportunity to change but, in a bold move to proclaim himself the true star of the video, refused to.
This is our best guess at what led to the argument that ruined Mancuso’s jeans.
Why do we fail our New Year’s resolutions so quickly?
The second opening of this video* shows Mancuso making resolutions to quit drinking bottled water, eat healthy, work out, and be a better boyfriend. One second later we see all these promises go out the window as he is surrounded by junk food, garbage, empty bottles of water and too many dirty clothes for one person to have worn in just a single day.
Which only leads us to believe the dirty clothes come from a junk food and bottled water-fed orgy of which Mancuso’s girlfriend did not approve. This makes him a bad boyfriend and thus completes the circle of broken resolutions.
Perhaps we fail our resolutions because we ask too much of ourselves. We make broad promises of change like “eat healthy” and “work out” and attempt to alter our patterns of behavior overnight, just because the calendar has turned to another year. Maybe we need to learn that the first step to improving is accepting ourselves as we currently are. We need to know that change will come as the result of small, incremental, yet consistent behavior. Only then will we become the person we hope to be.
What, you thought all these were going to be jokes?
*Why does this video have two openings?
Bad editing. There’s absolutely no reason why they couldn’t have cut those three seconds of mean-mugging and yoga-posing.
Why does Rudy Mancuso feel so self-conscious about Steph Curry witnessing his slovenly behavior?
This one is easy. Curry is a two-time NBA MVP. He’s a hero to look up to and emulate. Based on the generic poster on his wall, Mancuso is clearly a fan of Curry himself and alone. He’s not a fan of the Warriors. He’s not a fan of the NBA. He’s not a fan of interesting background graphics. He just loves Curry and can’t stand the thought that his hero is seeing him at his worst.
Why has Steph Curry never had pizza for breakfast?
When Mancuso, in his shame, tries to throw his dietary choices back in Curry’s face, Steph tells him he’s never eaten pizza for breakfast.
What he actually says is “No, not really.”
No? Not really?
The answer to the obviously rhetorical question “what, you never had pizza for breakfast” should be “yes, obviously I’ve had pizza for breakfast. Why am I even answering this? We’ve already established the question was asked rhetorically. What I should be asking you is why you’re projecting eating pizza for breakfast onto me because you feel shame about it. Huh? Why are you doing that Rudy? What does that say about you?”
But he doesn’t say that. He says “No, not really.”
Does that mean he’s “kind of” had pizza for breakfast? Has Steph Curry eaten breakfast pizza? Has he eaten pizza on a bagel or an English muffin and only “kind of” considers that pizza?
That has to be the answer. Steph Curry has actually eaten pizza for breakfast, but bagel-pizza or English muffin-pizza, and is a pizza purist so he does not consider those to be pizza proper.
And if Curry has actually never had pizza for breakfast, somebody needs to get that dude pizza for breakfast now.
Why would Steph get mad when Rudy asks him if he’s there to help him with his free throws?
This is a perfectly reasonable question to ask after Steph Curry tells you he’s there to help you.
Steph Curry is a great free throw shooter and would probably make a great free throw shooting coach.
Maybe step one in free throw shooting advice is “put down the pizza.” Normally, this probably wouldn’t come into play, but Mancuso was holding pizza at the time. You can’t shoot free throws to the best of your ability while also holding pizza. Your hands would be greasy.
Our guess is that Curry gets mad because Mancuso assumes he’s there to help him with his shooting for free when Curry’s price is a premium of $180 per year to teach shooting.
Why does Mancuso keep Cheetos in his refrigerator?
There’s absolutely no reason to refrigerate cheese puffs. Yet, there they are, front and center on top of a bunch of generic plastic water bottles in Rudy’s fridge.
The answer is plain as day. We can only speculate that Frito-Lay is a low-key, secret sponsor of this video. Mancuso must have doubled down on product placement dollars and filled his refrigerator with Cheetos, Lays Potato Chips and Fritos.
Why does Mancuso ask Curry “why” when he tells him the water bottles have to go?
Getting rid of bottled water is literally at the top of Mancuso’s resolution list.**
The answer can only be that Mancuso not only broke his New Year’s resolutions within a day but also totally forgot what his resolutions were in the first place.
That must have been one crazy orgy.
**Why would “Ditch Bottled Water” be NUMBER ONE on your resolutions list?
Because this video is sponsored by Brita, duh.
Why has Rudy never exercised before?
Curry quickly schools Rudy on the benefits of Brita filters (like, way too quickly — how much did Brita pay to sponsor this video?) before knocking pizza out of Mancuso’s hands for the second time and forcing him to exercise.
Rudy tells us he’s “never done” exercise before. Which, on the ridiculous claims scale is right up there with not ever having pizza for breakfast.
For a guy who’s never exercised before, Rudy looks pretty good. He must have good genes. He probably avoided exercise because until now he’s coasted on his superior genetics. Being the son of a former NBA player, Curry knows hard work has got to be part of the equation, so he’s here to force Rudy to push past his natural limits.
At this point in the video, we learn they are indeed doing Tai chi.
Not really a question, but the answer to a sub-question in one of our previous questions.
Why is Rudy so concerned with his resolutions when it’s his anniversary with his girlfriend?
Probably because he’s a bad boyfriend.
Remember the orgy.
At least one of his resolutions is to be a better boyfriend. I guess making a big card makes up for having group sex with so many people their leftover clothes fill up your entire living room.
Why does Curry sell the dancing in the next part so hard?
This song is goofy for sure. Curry and Rudy ham it up real good while dancing to the chorus over the next part of the video. This proves Curry’s out to do his best in any situation, no matter how stupid.
This one is certainly stupid.
Why is there still another minute left in this video?
Probably for view-optimization or some junk. There’s most likely some magical formula that says three minutes is the perfect length for a comedic-song-sports-star-product-sponsored video. They ran out of song and had to add the pizza delivery gag tag to make up the difference.
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Why can’t the pizza delivery guy see Steph, but Rudy’s girlfriend can?
Here comes the big reveal that Curry was just in Rudy’s mind the whole time. This is a little bit sad, but also hopeful as he learns the power to change was inside himself all along.
But wait! Rudy’s girlfriend definitely reacted to the fact that Curry joined them for the anniversary dinner. She could totally see him.
This can only mean one thing: Rudy’s girlfriend is also a figment of his imagination.
That’s the only explanation. If she can see Curry but he’s not really there, then Mancuso’s unnamed girlfriend must also be part of his weirdo fantasy world. We’re willing to bet she’s also an image on a poster somewhere inside Rudy’s house.
Bad news: This is sad and we feel bad for Rudy.
Good news: You can’t really be a “bad boyfriend” to an imaginary woman, so keep up with the orgies.