Here’s the thing about businesses: you want them to not be considered really bad. Big Baller Brand has fallen at this important hurdle.
Oh dear.
It has been a trying time for Ballers of all sizes lately. The largest Baller has been drawing a bit more of the world’s ire than usual for taking shots at Luke Walton. Medium and small Baller have been relocated to Lithuania after shoplifting in China and being a minor in the United States respectively. Above-average size Baller has been shooting better since a beginning of the season in which his percentages were compared to the inevitability of death and other bad things, but he has recently been sidelined for a half dozen games due to body problems.
However, one thing has united these Ballers from the start: the Big Baller Brand. Some said it couldn’t be done, stringing three b’s together like that in one company name. But, by god, they did it. If this level of alliteration was any indication, the future was bright.
But, as mentioned earlier, oh dear.
They weren’t able to maintain this momentum. Instead of promoting a quality product at an affordable price behind the leadership of a level-headed founder, they decided to do the exact opposite of all of those things. Now the Big Baller Brand has been given an ‘F’ by the Better Business Bureau.
One figures that the Better Business Bureau would appreciate Big Baller Brand’s alliteration more than anyone else, but they didn’t. There could be many reasons for this. Maybe they were jealous. When was the last time anyone bought a Better Business Bureau shoe? Probably never. On the scale of relative baller size, they are quite low. I made a graph.
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That clears that up. The New York Daily News has more details if you’re into that sort of thing for some reason, but details can be a waste of time if you’ve decided to shortcut to forming an opinion before getting the necessary background details. That’s what I did. As such, this is a witch hunt.