10 crazy ideas to liven up NBA All-Star Weekend 2018

10. Replace the basketball with a chinchilla

Not all basketballs need to be exchanged with a chinchilla, just one. There are a few basketballs on hand at any given basketball game. Sometimes they get rotated out because a player accidentally signed his autograph on it and gave it to his mom. Other times they get too slippery because the remembered Patrick Ewing exists and the mirror memory of him can make a basketball perspire itself from the thought alone.

Just pop a chinchilla in there instead. Take out one basketball, put it to the side with some other gear, and put a chinchilla in its place. Simple.

Rules would be slightly different for the chinchilla ball. You cannot dribble a chinchilla because that would be mean. Instead, you have to pet the chinchilla to move. Petting will be considered dribbling.

You can pass the chinchilla, but it has to be done from less than two feet away and only with the chinchilla’s permission.

You cannot steal the chinchilla. Chinchillas are only given, never taken.

You cannot shoot the chinchilla. That’s just cruel. The hoops will be lowered to about six feet so that the chinchilla can be gently lowered through it.

The chinchilla will decide when it has had enough. If it looks agitated, then the chinchilla will be put in a dust bath, and that’s that. The teams must provide their own dust baths.

This would be adorable, and if all the cat videos online are any clue being cute is often confused with being entertaining. That’s why Ricky Rubio still has a job.