10 crazy ideas to liven up NBA All-Star Weekend 2018

3. Turn the court into a skate park

Changes in height and so on would force people to look at their feet when they dribble, and since I can’t dribble without looking at the ball they shouldn’t be able to either.

Similarly, I’m annoyed that NBA players can make free throws. Let’s maybe put a large quarterpipe in the middle of the key. These are important ideas.

It’s better than simply soothing my wounded pride. Think of how cool it would be if the three point line were a large pool with a sponsored coping instead of just some flat paint thingy. Sure it would throw everyone entirely off because the height change would suddenly make it seem like you’re shooting on a 5 foot rim, but that’s fine. I’m totally okay with everyone else dealing with that problem.

How about you could score points not only by baskets but by doing sweet tricks the judges score you on? A dunk is pretty cool, but that’s only two points. A really cool 360 into a darkslide on a park bench but you miss the layup really bad? That can be four.

What if to cross half court you had to grind over a 10 foot gap in soap shoes? Do they make soap shoes that are also high-tops? Google is broken for me today, so I can’t find out. This would be a great time to introduce them.

Remember earlier when we established that this was extremely extreme?

Now picture that but with a basketball. There’s nothing better than that. I’m not accepting any counterpoints.