Time is running out to save Anthony Davis from himself

Anthony Davis and his unibrow have been best face friends since he first came into the league. Now he’s contemplating ending that relationship. What the hell, dude?

I’m not usually one for telling other people how to manage the aspects of their face. Second-hand face aspect management is usually an intrusion and almost always incredibly rude. It’s a topic to avoid in most cases, but Anthony Davis is apparently crowdsourcing his face now, and I don’t like it.

No, I don’t like it one bit. We’re at over a half-million votes with only a couple hours left, and at the time of this writing there are a few hundred-thousand jerks trying to tear Davis’ two eyebrows apart. Or shave them apart. Maybe pluck them. There are all sorts of ways to remove hair these days. Fire, maybe.

This isn’t just a simple patch of hair for Davis. This might have the highest amount-of-identity-to-surface-area-of-follicles ratio for any bit of hair in NBA history. Dennis Schröder’s yellow patch comes to mind, but it seems more a byproduct of his general Schröder-ness. Rasheed Wallace’s little patch is interesting but it has so much other identity to contend with. Mo Speight’s mole isn’t hair, so it doesn’t count at all.

For Davis, that tiny 1cm x 1cm link between his two eyebrows has been central to the AD experience since he came in to the league. At first it was a quirky little thing to make him stand out in pre-draft discussions. Then it was “it’s nice how he’s leaning into it.” Now it’s him. He is “The Brow.” He is “Unibrow.” He is this horrifying GIF:

Davis has not made clear whether he will honor the results of the Twitter poll, but I don’t think we can take that risk. Please vote to keep his eyebrows attached and his identity intact. Make a few extra twitter accounts just to be safe.

Next: Rankings the best NBA nicknames of all time

Or don’t. Whatever. Change is good sometimes.