The ultimate guide to watching the World Cup at work

14. Monica the loud fan

The only thing better than reducing company productivity by spending your time not working and watching the sports is having someone to do it with. The best work camaraderie comes from not doing work with your fellow workers. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to find someone to do it with. Trust not to tell is one thing, but there are those who can’t help but tell on themselves.

You have to keep your cool. Your joy can show on your face, and maybe you can let out a little “yip” if you can disguise it as a hiccup, but anything beyond that starts treading in dangerous territory. The first out-of-character-for-a-work-environment reaction might go unnoticed, but after three or four of them people are going to begin to notice a pattern. People will wait, and people will see, and you’ll be revealed to the company at large as not a team player.

This is reality. You have to be attuned to it in order to successfully substitute your own.

Then there’s Monica. In her world, it’s just Monica. What she does doesn’t really fit into this broader framework. That doesn’t mean she’s a bad or selfish person, it’s just that she doesn’t take into account that a brief “YAYYY” before ducking and covering her mouth is instantly blowing cover. As is pounding on the desk in anger. Or loudly expressing disbelief to you. “Did you see that, Matt?”

Now your cover is blown too. The only way to avoid Monica doing this to you is to avoid Monica.