Ice-Cold takes is a weekly humor column covering what is trending around the NHL. This week is sure to be a tear-jerker, as one of these heavy favorites is sent packing.
We’re officially once again in uncharted waters. Round 2 of the Ice-Cold Takes summer tournament starts now, and it’s heavy NHL-player favorite golf taking on flashy young stud Fortnite in a battle of our two favorite things we never really seem to get better at.
These two are ready to start swinging, but first let’s have a look at anything actually important that is happening around the league.
Easily the most important news of the past week was the retirement of a true NHL legend, Jarome Iginla. Iginla was your favorite player not playing for your home squad. He was one of the toughest, most talented and well-liked players to ever grace the game of hockey.
Personally, I will be forever grateful that I had the opportunity to watch him play as a Boston Bruin, if only for a short period of time. All the best to this legend in his retirement.
Perhaps the most reacted-to news from the week was the Washington Capitals signing
head-hunter
forward Tom Wilson to a six-year contract valued at just over $5 million per season. Twitter was split down the middle with zero grey area to be found, as it usually goes with Wilson-related news.
FanSider David Rouben does a great job compiling the reactions and somewhat defending Wilson’s contract here. While you could make the case that Wilson is young and had a solid playoff run, it’s fun to make comparisons when a guy who hand only 35 regular season points lands a $5 million deal. Thanks, Lord Stanley!
For example: Wilson is currently getting paid $1.6 million dollars more than Eric Staal, who had 28 more goals and 13 more assists than Wilson last season. Imagine if Staal was playing next to players like Evgeny Kuznetsov and Alex Ovechkin?
My favorite tweet from the post:
Moving on, because any more Tom Wilson talk is going to leave us all concussed. This week’s tournament match up is between two heavy favorites: Golf and Fortnite. As the higher seed, golf goes first.
Golf
The sport of golf dominated its Round 1 match against NHL summer vacations and is showing no signs of slowing down this week. The old guard calls golf a “gentleman’s game,” but this fine women isn’t having any of that nonsense. The future is now, old men.
We’re 100 percent positive she’s from Buffalo, right? #BillsMafia
Another avid golfer who is changing the course rules these days is NHL Stanley Cup Champion and party guy-extraordinaire T.J. Oshie. Oshie was on the course recently, still celebrating his Cup win in the way that only he knows how:
Perfect form on both the putt and the double-Bud Light helmet. The offseason of Oshie continues. This is going to be hard to beat for our challenger this week.
Fortnite
In Round 1, JT Brown and his very understanding wife/mother-of-his-newborn-child Lexi showed us how Fortnite could cause some trouble after JT’s game-related yelling woke up his newborn child.
This week, one of hockey’s all-time greats is going to be kicking off his own Fortnite career with his children. In his retirement press conference, Jarome Iginla promised to hop on to the battle bus with his kids (in moderation, of course).
https://twitter.com/EHClothing/status/1024119807698821120
Here are two guys who Iginla can learn some game tips from. Vegas Golden Knights players Oscar Dansk and William Karlsson added a little bit of Fortnite dancing to their offseason training regimen. Not bad, Wild Bill!
https://www.instagram.com/p/BldYoUggI73/?hl=en&taken-by=larswilliamkarlsson
Breaking: Gary Bettman has just announced that after building a new arena, Fortnite will be the next city to get an NHL team. Sorry, Quebec City.
Winner: Golf
Fortnite put up a fight, but even it is obsessed with golf. In the game’s newest season, a golf course, golf carts and the ability to hit golf balls were all added to the popular game. While the hockey world enjoys both, Fortnite needs golf more than golf needs Fortnite.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bl6NpNrnNhZ/
It’s no different when it comes to NHL players. While the younger generation is obsessed with the battle royale game, they are still out playing golf as often as they can. It still is the ultimate NHL offseason activity.
This was close, but you always give the edge to the GOAT. Most NHL players, including the game’s greatest player ever, Bobby Orr, play golf. Bobby sure as hell doesn’t know what Fortnite is. Even though golf is changing, sometimes the old guard takes the win and you just have to deal with it. C’est la vie.
Next: 25 most insane things people have ever done with the Stanley Cup
The second semi-final match-up is a showdown between good hockey dogs and dryland training, and it’s sure to be a barn-burner. Make sure to stick with us and find out who will face golf in the Ice-Cold Takes Summer Tournament championship final.
Until next week, keep your head up!