The worst kept secret in professional basketball is that EVERYTHING is scripted. Competitiveness is an illusion. Everything — from the developmental arc of individual players to the present and future of each individual team, from the NBA to the WNBA to the BIG3 — is mapped out ahead of time by a team of the best script writers in the business. That group has just finished their 2018-19 Season Planning Meeting and we’re proud to bring you all the scoops.
If you’re not into spoilers, you should probably stop reading now.
The Golden State Warriors will be winning the 2019 NBA Championship
There were strong arguments made for the Houston Rockets and Los Angeles Lakers from the Beard and Legacy lobbies respectively, along with an unexpected push for the Indiana Pacers from Moms for Middle America, but ultimately the tech money won out. The Golden State Warriors will again be champions this year.
The argument put forth was that people love dynasties. There are those who still think the tax cuts are going to be good for the general populace eventually, and it appears to be that line of thinking that has carried over here. The rich get richer, it seems.
As a concession, David West will be made to retire from his position as team shadow owner. In all likelihood, this will lead to his retirement from on-court competition as well. We’ll have to see.
Team Taco is still angry at San Antonio
Word going into the meeting was that Terry Taco had softened his stance on the Spurs since the 2016 blowout, but it appears that was all talk. Already claiming the career of Tim Duncan and the Spur’s tenure of Kawhi Leonard, Taco added insult to injury by banishing longtime favorites Manu Ginobli and Tony Parker to retirement.
Editor’s Note: Tony Parker has only been moved to Charlotte, but that’s basically the same as being out of the league. Our mistake is to be forgiven here. Thank you.
It’s hard to say if this will finally be enough to satisfy Terry. As long as Gregg Popovich still exercises what he calls his “free will” by actually making his players compete instead of following the script laid out for small market teams, this type of teardown may continue.
It’s hard not to feel bad for fans of San Antonio, but I’m sure I’ll find a way. I appreciate your sympathy. The Bruce Bowen storyline will not be easily forgotten by many in Detroit.
The team of writers will be expanded in 2020
Terms of this are unclear. One rumor is that each team may be getting their own writer to help flesh out local storylines to fit regional interest. Another is that these are mostly just script assistants to make sure past storylines aren’t reused or forgotten.
Whatever the case is, some fans will be pleased that there will be new voices behind the scenes given that the last two finals have been “quite samesy” as one former writer said. No one denies the benefits of having both your league’s biggest star and most popular team in the Finals for multiple years, but some have argued that playing to popular interest too often may burn out some hardcore fans or cause the veil to slip a bit for the casual fan revealing the scripted nature of professional sports “competition.”
There are still those that argue we’re past the point of no return already, that it’s “needless pishposh” to try and keep up the illusion. “We can stop this anytime,” Chris Wallace was reported as saying. “The only people who really think the curtain is still down are the people who are supposed to be behind it. We’re kidding ourselves.”
Wallace’s strongest opponents just say he’s tired of people confusing Chris Wallace the person with the Chris Wallace Bumbling General Manager persona. I’m sure it gets hard day after day seeing your name dragged through the mud just because you’re so convincing in your act, but these people are highly compensated. Once your salary is sufficiently high, you forfeit all right to human feelings.
Editor’s Note: Not all at FanSided find Chris Wallace’s act convincing. Many of us feel the character is written too strongly to be an archetypal “moron.” There’s no depth to the character, just to his stupidity. We have arguments about this a lot, but this is not the time or place.
Increased roles for women
Just as the NBA saw immense return for being the first league to allow women on its writing staff, we’re starting to see that same return show forth in the first star female characters.
The Becky Hammon role was praised by both men and women alike, and the Diani Taurasi “GOAT” arc has received nothing but critical praise. There are whispers that the semifinal script is being rewritten on the fly to allow more time for this storyline to breathe, but these kinds of rumors rarely come to fruition. The WNBA has invested a great deal in the Breanna Stewart Character, and it’s difficult to see them halting her ascension any time soon.
It’s a good problem to have, to be sure.
Don’t think the BIG3’s Nancy Lieberman chapter has gone unnoticed as well. There’s an air of jealousy to be sure, but overwhelmingly there’s a feeling that a rising tide floats all boats. Good basketball writing breeds more basketball fans. With the NCAA taking critical hit after critical hit for the “corrupt, evil, plainly incompetent governing body” storyline, it’s been a welcome relief to the NBA seeing a smaller show step up their creative work like this.
Lighter side of life
The character of James Dolan may finally be getting his pet goat. Dolan the performer is as eccentric as his onscreen personality, and has been breeding goats in his free time for decades now. What started as an inside joke among editing staff has grown to an actual possible plot point.
“Don’t be surprised if you see a goat named Benny in a few background shots of the Knicks’ post-game pressers this season. If the appearances attract the wanted sort of attention, he’ll be assuming a speaking role as Dolan’s favorite security guard with a production option to increase that role to member of the front office staff.
It’s wacky, but it works. The writing for the Dolan character has been so on point from the start that many believe that any pitch for a sideplot can be made to work. We may see that thought tested in the very near future.
In conclusion
This is nothing too groundbreaking to report this year. There was a lot of self-congratulation, but who would really say that that’s unearned. Longtime fans of the show still praise this as the strongest writing since the mid-1990s, and possibly before. If the pro basketball wants to stay the course, they’ve more than earned the right.
Editors Note: This concludes our six weeks of reporting, but stay tuned to the Step Back for more analysis of these spoilers and many more as well as diving deeper into the the continuing Mike Conley injury storylines. At what point do we resign ourselves to the idea that an actor just doesn’t want to play on the show any more? All that and more here on FanSided.com.