Ice Cold Takes: Prospects, pets and Phil Kessel Day celebrations

Ice Cold Takes is a weekly humor column focused on what is trending around the NHL. You probably celebrated Phil Kessel Day yesterday whether you know it or not.

As you may have already noticed, there hasn’t been much going on around the NHL lately. A few signings, a few rumors and a bunch of otherwise un-noteworthy news. There have been a lot of NHL dogs, though. Let’s start there.

Shark Week 

We’re nearing the end of Discovery Channel’s Shark Week but Bo Horvat’s French bulldog Gus is going to be scaring beach-goers all summer with his hilariously awesome new lifejacket.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzto48CH3_h/

Gus has over 6,000 Instagram followers. Rightfully, because he is the cutest little guy, but also, wow. In terms of NHL dogs, he has to be up there. Considering that Vancouver has a lot of young talent, Gus is only going to get more of a following. Go follow Gus and then feel bad about how little followers you have in comparison.

Comin’ in hot! 

Have you ever been on a treadmill for a while (nope) and had that weird feeling once you get off that you’re moving faster than the ground? It also happens on moving walkways in airports. Well, that feeling gets a little more intense on skates.

The Stranges thing

This is illegal, but whatever, it’s incredible. Antonio Stranges literally puts this goalie into the spin cycle with what might be the most impressive shootout move we’ve ever witnessed.

Stranges will be a lot of fun to watch in the NHL’s near future. The game is more about speed, stick handling and super impressive stuff like this now than it ever has been. Enjoy the future of hockey, because it’s going to be intense.

This is also the end of you and your beer league buddies thinking you have a shot. This kid is 17 and he’s already better than all of you combined. He’s playing for the OHL’s London Knights, too, so he’s also making more money you.

Speaking of prospects…

This is also the end of you and your beer league buddies thinking you have a shot. This kid is about 17 and she’s already better than all of you combined.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B0bLI1knQG1/

Here’s some more very impressive stick-handling on this game-winner. The women from the Chicago Mission AAA Youth Hockey Club are ruthless.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BusQRKwgD50/

NHL dogs 

A staple of the NHL summer! No one hates dog videos, especially ones that feature good boys/girls being super good! This good boy helps Anaheim Ducks’ D-man Josh Manson get back into game shape.

Who do you think would have the baddest boy or girl in the NHL? Phil Kessel might be the type to give his dog a bit too long of a leash. That being said, Phil is too busy doing other super important stuff to actually properly train a dog. Guarantee he hires someone to teach his dog tricks. “Hot Dog” and “Sniper” are probably on the more well-behaved half of the scale.

A lot of people would probably say Brad Marchand, but since he is an outdoorsman, his dogs would very likely be extremely well-trained. The only thing you’d get out of them would be the occasional extra lick, maybe.

I bet it’s Max Domi’s dog. If for no other reason that to personally rebuild the beef between my Bruins and the dirty Canadiens. A beef that has been absent since the Habs’ began their (ongoing) stint in the NHL’s proverbial gutter.

Phil Kessel Day

Happy Phil Kessel Day, everyone! The NHL needs to celebrate its stars more and we’re here to help.

Aug. 1 (8/1) was officially deemed Phil Kessel Day (by me, last week). I hope you all got out for a nice round of golf, enjoyed a few cold ones and crushed about 15 hot dogs. However you chose to celebrate, chances are you did the same thing Phil did.

The key to Phil Kessel Day was not exercising. Phil is notorious for relaxing during the summer months and Phil Kessel Day was an opportunity for all of us to do the same. Chances are Phil himself didn’t get up to much yesterday, a random Thursday in his otherwise uneventful summer. If you worked out, I’m sorry, you are excluded from the Phil Kessel Club.

On Phil Kessel day, I found the shot tracer app, which means the 95 percent of my Twitter and Instagram followers who don’t care about golf are going to put me on mute.

The Phil Kessel Day hashtag brings up some interesting results. Some celebrate on July 1, the anniversary of the day he was traded to the Penguins in 2015, two of the five posts are from this column, and one guy thinks Phil Kessel is a groundhog.

The Thrill lives on in Arizona, where we wish him all the best. More unwanted Phil Kessel content will be coming your way on Aug. 16. Until then…

Keep your head up.