George Kittle embarrassing Jimmy G with throwback Zoom background is pure artistry

San Francisco 49ers tight end George Kittle might be the best tight end in the NFL, but he’s the G.O.A.T. of embarrassing Jimmy Garoppolo.

The relationship between an All-Pro tight end and his quarterback is sacred. It’s like half pope and god, half Tango & Cash. Just as 49ers star George Kittle, who clearly has a special kind of regard for the man who slings him all the balls, Jimmy Garoppolo.

Indeed, Jimmy slings ’em, and George breaks ’em. Look no further than the tight end’s growing penchant for customized Zoom conference call backgrounds, many of which apparently feature old and generally embarrassing photos of a young Gucci Garopp.

https://twitter.com/OurSf49ers/status/1262831917981822976

That’s devastating, but it’s also a kind of mixed media performance art we’ll one day sigh pensively at on a tour of the Tate Modern.

Pro Football Focus alleges that Kittle was the single best football player in the NFL in 2019 (!), and while we’re not so out of our skulls to suggest such a thing as that, we can certainly anoint him an absolute ace of a troll. Jimmy G is a good-looking guy with a fat paycheck and NFC champion credentials; cutting him down to size with a single low-resolution JPEG is take-a-bow stuff.

Let us pray.

The question here now turns to what Garoppolo can possibly do to turn the tables. A quarterback has to be resourceful when his play call blows up in his face, and the Zoom pocket has clearly collapsed around him.

The only issue here? Kittle popped out of the womb at 6-foot-4, 250 pounds. Good luck finding an embarrassing high school photo of this man, unless you consider the principal fearfully shining your shoes to be humiliating.