Mike Leach has the cure to hiccups, and you’re not gonna believe what it is
By John Buhler
Mike Leach has had a cure to hiccups the whole time and is just now telling us!
Mike Leach provides the internet with a hiccups panacea, and we will be forever thankful for it.
“The Pirate” has been such an incredible addition to the SEC. After winning a ton of games with the Washington State Cougars and the Texas Tech Red Raiders before that, Leach brings his patented Air Raid offense to Starkville, Mississippi. While he tries to figure out how to win with the Mississippi State Bulldogs, he has already conquered the embarrassing bodily function of hiccups.
— Mike Leach (@Coach_Leach) August 25, 2020
Sugar is bad for your teeth, but it’s the best way to dominate some hiccups.
When Mary Poppins told us a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, she had the key to solving hiccups the whole time and didn’t tell us either. Leach has been nothing short of a godsend in SEC country. He has already pulled on newfound rival Lane Kiffin’s mask, told us that pineapple does not belong on a pizza, and Jolly Roger emblems belong on the face of your favorite cowbell.
He may be favored to beat Kiffin this year in the most anticipated Egg Bowl of our lives, but we found out what his secret weapon is. It’s not Kylin Hill and his elite talent of getting the Mississippi State flag changed. It isn’t graduate transfer K.J. Costello and his Stanford degree. Leach’s secret weapon is copious amounts of sugar to stop the hiccups with more cowbell, please.
SEC football is going to be here in about a month. Hopefully, we will be blessed with our precious fall Saturdays again, as well as some absolutely incredible Leach soundbites. Never afraid to let it rip, Leach is the Air Raid tactician of the microphone. If you need a quote, he’s going to give you a quote, just like when you put your best playmakers in space and they will get you a first down.
As you leave your home to purchase enough sugar to rot every tooth in your head with the same ferocity of a Karen hoarding toilet paper and hand sanitizer at your local shopping establishment, just remember this isn’t the first spectacular soundbite from Leach, nor will it be his last. Save yourself some money and a trip to the dentist by solving your hiccups issues in moderation.
If you keep pounding sugar and water, you just might be that alien farmer guy from Men in Black.
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