Quinn Ewers goes Enter Sandman to lay Oklahoma’s season to rest in Red River

Quinn Ewers has Entered Sandman to lay Oklahoma’s season down to sleep during Red River.

Exit life, enter nightmares, as Quinn Ewers and the Texas Longhorns are sending the hapless Oklahoma Sooners off to Never, Neverland at Red River.

Although we could see Steve Sarkisian’s #AllGasNoBrakes Texas team run out of gas like the Longhorns did a year ago, Oklahoma stinks worse than Matthew McConaughey kicking deodorant to the curb forever in the hot Texas sun. It might be alright, alright, alright for the Longhorns’ Minister of Culture’s favorite college team, but OU has not looked this bad since peak John Blake.

With a delicious mullet and an absolutely filthy neckbeard, Ewers is hooking them horns harder than a metalhead rocking out at a Metallica concert.

For whom does the bell toll? That would be Oklahoma, so obey your master, Sooners fans!

Quinn Ewers has hopeless Oklahoma fans believing that nothing else matters

Hashtag blessed with a 28-0 lead over OU in Red River, Ewers is looking every bit the blue-chip prospect he was coming out of high school in The Lone Star State. While he made a GOB Bluth huge mistake to reclassify for 2021 and early enroll at The Ohio State University, Ewers looks right at home doing work for the Longhorns in burnt orange. Meanwhile, Oklahoma is not competent…

Although these are a pair of 3-2 teams on the season, the bitter rivals are heading in different directions. Not to say the Longhorns have popped just yet under second-year head coach Steve Sarkisian, but Texas looks like a team that can challenge for the second of two spots in the Big 12 title bout, possibly as early as this year. For Oklahoma, are the Sooners even going bowling now?

This has been an unmitigated disaster for Brent Venables in Norman. Unless Sarkisian’s car blows up on the freeway, OU is about to be 0-3 in conference play … They have not won a game since beating Nebraska. They lost narrowly at home two weeks ago vs. Kansas State and got absolutely humiliated by undefeated TCU on Fort Worth last Saturday. Will they win even three more times?

There are still two quarters of ball left to be played, but Texas has seized full control of Red River.

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