Penn State players allegedly threw your favorite elementary school lunch at Michigan players

Donovan Edwards, Michigan Wolverines, Jaylen Reed, Penn State Nittany Lions. (Photo by Mike Mulholland/Getty Images)
Donovan Edwards, Michigan Wolverines, Jaylen Reed, Penn State Nittany Lions. (Photo by Mike Mulholland/Getty Images) /

Penn State is officially known as PB&J State after what happened in the Michigan tunnel.

Coming out of the break, Michigan was doing just fine, as it had Penn State down because they wanted it all.

It started out with a diss, how did it end up like this? (It was only a diss, it was only a diss!) As we were falling asleep or calling a Lyft, Penn State ate a snack that made Michigan tick. Barely leading at half, their stomach was sick. It was all in their head. But Penn State is touching the bread now, they tear off the crust now. Let it rip! I just can’t look, it’s hitting me and grazing Harbaugh…

Jealousy turned Penn State into a C program through its projectiles, choking on Uncrustables. PB&J, the price you pay when destiny is calling thee.

Open up your We Are eyes. Cue Mr. Brightside!

Penn State destroys more sandwiches in tunnel than Chris Farley on a school bus

If peeing your pants is cool in the second half, consider me Miles Sanders. We all could have seen, or smelled, this coming. Those feisty Nittany Lions were rifling PB&Js at Michigan players with the ferocity of those Sweet Caroline horns (throw, throw, throw) and way more accurately than Neil Diamond’s grade school classmate Sean Clifford ever could. Good times never seemed so good…

I’d be inclined, but I’m not a believer that Penn State is any good.

The absolute shame in it all is we all know Jim Harbaugh had some extra 2-percent on hand to help wash down those extra thick sandwiches. Big Gulps, huh? Well, alrighty then! The good news for this McPoyle brother is no Big Ten team is going to ruin the lead-up to his Ponderosa wedding. Bret Bielema and those dead-tooth Cornhuskers be damned! It’s going to be a great red wedding.

A red wedding indeed!

After being washed out in their whiteout, PB&J State will have to floss their chompers after getting kicked in the teeth by THE Ohio State University. Seeing red on Thanksgiving Weekend, nobody likes a destination wedding on a holiday weekend. It might be The Game, but it will be a game for the Buckeyes. I mean, they are nuts and they play in a Horseshoe and they are Killers.

When you’ve got soul but you’re not a soldier, you throw PB&Js in a rival’s tunnel in The Big House.

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