Josh Heupel made a shameless Tennessee push for CFP style points
By John Buhler
Josh Heupel goes No More Mr. Nice Guy by paddling Missouri in the Tennessee parking lot.
Josh Heupel hates Missouri so much, you would think the Tennessee head coach went to Kansas!
A week after getting their remaining teeth kicked in by Georgia in Athens, Heupel decided the Vols needed some style points vs. Mizzou, alright. With the game already way out of reach, Heupel went for the kill when Eliah Drinkwitz’s Tigers were already dead. Up 59-24 with under three minutes left, Heupel could not help himself, going full-blown Chip Kelly at Oregon vs. Mizzou here.
Practice star hero Joe Milton III uncorked a 58-yard bomb to Squirrel White with under two minutes remaining. White was downed on the Missouri one-yard line. Rather than putting Missouri out of its misery, Heupel called timeout like a man who peaked in high school, forever trying to impress barmaid Jamie Palamino with his ’95 letterman’s jacket in their dead-end town.
Victory formation be damned, Heupel called for Dylan Sampson to punch it in. He got in there on the second try of the Dusty Dingleman sloppy seconds variety. He may go by Dusty Lee now, but you don’t have to see a red corvette to spot male insecurity from afar. This may have been done to impress the College Football Playoff Selection Committee but remember, they are Just Friends…
If Tennessee really wanted to impress the Selection Committee, don’t be Dawg food in Athens!
Josh Heupel is not ready to play nice, is not ready to back down vs. Missouri
This was some major let’s go bash some nerds vibes out of Heupel. He may be a former Heisman Trophy runner-up, but a lot has changed in the world since Y2K. There are no chads hanging off my Floridian presidential ballot, just like there is no chance I am ever going to watch re-runs of How I Met Your Mother because Ted Mosby is the worst main character to ever grace the medium of TV!
While Tennessee may be good enough to make the four-team field for the first time ever, the Vols do not control their own destiny to get in. Georgia holds the head-to-head tiebreaker in the SEC East race. A win over Mississippi State secures the Dawgs a return trip to the conference title bout where they will play either LSU or Ole Miss in Atlanta. Tennessee will be watching at home again…
Although the Volunteers do need some style points, did Anna Faris really need all that toothpaste? Sure, it made both parties happy, but ultimately, the decadence was done in vain. Even if Missouri is just slightly better than Vanderbilt, everybody saw what Heupel did to Drink’s team in the final seconds. Forgiveness is more than saying sorry, but rubbing it in like this is never a great look.
Not since the Head Ball Coach was at Florida have we seen a man as addicted to those 50 burgers.
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