25 PPG: The only number that matters for Iowa football this year

Brian Ferentz, Iowa Hawkeyes. (Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images)
Brian Ferentz, Iowa Hawkeyes. (Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images) /

Brian Ferentz can earn back more than the $50,000 he lost as Iowa’s offensive coordinator by averaging … 25 points per game…

If nepotism had a number, it would 25, as in 25 points per game Iowa offensive coordinator Brian Ferentz must achieve to keep working for his dad, Kirk.

Ferentz saw a slight salary reduction of $50,000 to keep coordinating the Hawkeyes. But don’t worry. He can more than earn that back if Iowa wins seven games this season and averages 25 points per game. Should Iowa achieve the loftiest of goals, Ferentz will get a $112,500 bonus, a two-year contract and a raise. Ferentz must average as many points per game as … Karl Malone.

85 FBS programs average 25 points per game last year. That is way more than half of them…

Ferentz has averaged 25.9 points per game as offensive coordinator since taking over in 2017.

Keep in mind seven wins include bowl games and 25 points per game also encapsulates defense and special teams prowess, two areas of Iowa’s football team we all consider a major strength.

If Ferentz throws to the post, Malone will be surpassed by White Iverson to average 26.7 PPG.

“[He] needs that money like that ring he never won.”

25 points per game is the only metric that matters with Iowa football this year

If you don’t think college football fans are going to make fun of this contract stipulation every step of the way next season, then you don’t know college football fans! You better believe The Sickos Committee’s favorite team will be tracked more feverishly than an Amazon package during the holiday season. If we can track private jets going to college towns, then we can track Iowa points!

If we want to make this really funny, will Iowa’s offense average more points per game than what Luka Garza did on the hardwood his senior season playing for Fran McCaffrey? The 2020-21 AP Player of the Year averaged 24.1 points per game … of offense! Let’s be real. You and I both know Iowa will round up a 24.5 points per game average to give Ferentz his new gold star on the fridge.

Ultimately, this wouldn’t be so hilarious if it wasn’t so sad. Iowa has a great football tradition and incredibly passionate fans. Kinnick is an awesome home environment and Iowa City is one of the best college towns in America. It is a shame that the longest-tenured head coach in the country is holding the state’s tax payers hostage with egregious nepotism. Eventually, it will come to an end.

Here is to those getting ready in the pink locker room to hold the Hawks below the post of Malone.

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