Crime against Family: LSU football stadium robbed of over $1,000 of beer

Over $1,000 in beer was stolen out of Tiger Stadium by LSU students last Saturday night.

Even in the early stages of spring, nobody goes harder than LSU students do on a Baton Rouge Saturday night.

With it being louder than a drum when the Bayou Bengals are playing in Death Valley, you have to accept the fact that their blood is mostly alcohol at that point in the Saturday evening soiree. But to get to those supreme levels of toxic greatness, you have to start early and you have to put in the work during the offseason. Just maybe not try to steal $1,000 in beer out of Tiger Stadium…

A 19-year-old student was arrested for burglary on Sunday morning for hoarding so much beer inside of his dorm room. He had some buddies help him get the booze into a black pickup truck, but they bailed on him when the LSUPD caught onto their shenanigans. While $1,000 in Keystone could have funded a dope band party on Greek Row, The Family enjoys the finer beverages in life.

So let’s pour one out for the confiscated beer that somehow made its way back to Spruce Hall.

Crime against Family: How $1,000 in beer was robbed out of LSU’s Tiger Stadium

Look. Everybody on a college campus between the ages of 18 and 23 knows that beer is as good as currency. Your brain isn’t fully developed, which gives you just enough time to destroy it before it reaches its potential. Mom and Dad were expecting a lot of great things out of you, hoping you’d become a doctor or a lawyer or something by taking your studies oh so very seriously. Just stop…

You only live once. There is never a better place on earth to question authority than on a college campus. Stealing is illegal, but sometimes you need to break a few eggs to make one helluva story omelette. While they may have embarrassed their families, some things are better than pounding MTN DEW and never leaving your dorm room because pwning noobs on Call of Duty is everything.

So when football season arrives, and hopefully these dudes are still in school, can someone please hand these mighty fine boys a cold one, so long as their proper identification says they are of age?! The university already takes enough of your coin, so this is a way to take the Keystone power back, baby! Brian Kelly would have so sold you out to the cops, only because he’s not done winning yet!

We are just getting started in witnessing the Kelly era of Bayou Bengal football in all of its glory.

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