Holiday shopping guide: The best and worst Premier League jerseys

The final countdown to next week’s holidays is on. If you’re still looking for that special last-minute gift to wow someone in your life, look no further than a Premier League jersey. We’re living in a golden age of jersey design, with some absolutely killer looks out there.

But not all jerseys are created equal. There are definitely some stinkers. So we’ve assembled this quick shopping guide to help you separate the championship-level drip from the kit that should be relegated to the back of the closet.

So keep scrolling to reveal the five EPL jerseys that would make perfect gifts, as well as the bottom five that would go over like a lump of coal in your stocking.

Full disclosure: We don’t receive any money if you choose to buy one of these jerseys.

5 best Premier League jerseys

Ipswich Town third kit

Supposedly, music megastar Ed Sheeran helped design this pink beauty that boasts many intriguing features. The pink hue represents both the numerous colorful cottages found in Suffolk, as well as the region’s famous sunsets. 

There’s also the Ipswich skyline, as well as a wave comprising six lines symbolizing a renown 60-mile hiking trail in the area. The body of the jersey features more horizontal lines showing sound waves from the roar of the home crowd. Yes, please.

Arsenal away kit

The sleek, black look may seem like it comes with just a bit of Italian flair thanks to the red and green accents. But they’re actually designed to represent the colors of the Pan-African flag.

The jersey was created in collaboration with Labrum London, an English fashion house with deep connections to West Africa. 

Another special nod is the cannon logo on the chest. This is the first year that the cannon features across all Arsenal jerseys. The authentic version of the shirt also features a razor-sharp waffle texture.

Bournemouth home kit

This kit reminds us of a high-end casino in Monte Carlo, with its red, black and gold colorway. In reality, the jersey highlights the 10th anniversary of Bournemouth’s first year in the Premiership. The 2014-15 kit also featured gold pinstripes. 

The back neckline sports a Bournemouth 125th anniversary logo, and even the Umbro logo is supposedly a special “centenary” edition celebrating the 100th anniversary of the company’s founding in 1924.

But perhaps the best thing about this jersey is that it’s available in adult sizes without the hideous “bj88” sponsor logo.

Chelsea home kit

If you listen to Chelsea’s marketing team, it’s impossible to figure out this design. The rich blue is supposed to symbolize the “hottest part of a flame,” but the orange accents also are meant to represent a flame. But no matter. This jersey just works.

The flowing pattern of multiple shades of blue seems to slip and slide on its own, reminding us of liquid metal flowing from a blast furnace. And the touches of orange are perfect additions because they’re used in the most minimal way to accent jersey features such as the club badge. 

Another impressive detail of this jersey is the fact that it lacks a sponsor logo.

Wolves away kit

If Wolverhampton played with even a tiny portion of the ferocity and style embodied by their away jersey, they would be at the top of the table instead of in 19th place. Get this jersey now before the Wolves are relegated and need to lay off their talented jersey designer next summer.

It’s no exaggeration to say the stylized wolf head in old gold on the front of the jersey is akin to a Rembrandt sketch. The body of the jersey features a subtle-yet-striking geometric design meant to mimic the wolf in the club badge. 

Give this as a gift only if you want the recipient to turn heads whenever they walk into a room.

The 5 worst Premier League jerseys

Brentford third kit

The best word to describe this jersey is “depressing” with its black and dark green colorway. And the neon yellow accents don’t raise the excitement factor – they just make us nauseous.

The collar looks like the stretched-out neckline of an old t-shirt. And, sorry, but the #BEETOGETHER printed on the inside of the neck isn’t cute. It really bugs us.

Chelsea away kit

As dope as the Chelsea third kit is, the away kit is just dopey. It gives new meaning to the term “boring as dirt” with a look reminiscent of a U.S. men’s national team jersey…from 1932. 

Apparently, the body of the jersey is a color called “guava ice,” but it looks like plain, old off-white to us. The blue-and-orange club crest just seems weird. It’s supposed to remind fans of the Chelsea lion on the away kits in late 1980s and early ‘90s, which was red. This begs the obvious question: Why not just make it red again?

Crystal Palace away kit

Some jerseys are ugly. Some jerseys are dull. But it takes a real effort to produce a jersey that is both ugly and dull.

Sorry, but bright yellow should never be the primary color for a sports jersey (unless you’re the Savannah Bananas). This mess from Crystal Palace is called “Eagle yellow.” We didn’t know yellow eagles existed.

It should have just been called scrambled eggs, because this kit looks like it's covered in yesterday’s breakfast. We’re also not sure if Crystal Palace stole this lemony loser from Southampton, or vice versa.

Even the club crest manages to induce yawns. Palace says it’s the first time a simplified eagle-with-ball crest is being used. Hopefully, it’s also the last time.

Nottingham Forest third kit

Do the English have a national constitution? We’re not sure. But if they do, they should pass a new amendment outlawing expensive soccer jerseys that look exactly like cheap t-shirts. This is Forest’s third-consecutive season in the Premier League, so they really have no excuse for rolling out this hot garbage.

It’s a light-blue t-shirt. That’s about all that can be said for it. The amateurish sponsor logo and wordmark make it even worse. Wait a second: You mean to tell me that shirt sponsor Kaiyun’s website is actually Kaiyun.com? Well, thank you. I never could have guessed.

Southampton third kit

We have nothing against pink jerseys. In fact, we love Ipswich’s pink third kit. But Southampton’s third jersey goes out of its way to be fugly. 

Apparently, the color wheel from hell says it’s absolutely fine to take a hot-pink kit and slap a bright yellow Puma logo and club crest on the chest. Can we sue the club for making our eyes bleed?

And the bizarre geometric shapes on the sleeves and collar look like some kind of Barbie Dreamhouse camouflage gone very wrong.