It’s hard to believe it’s only 12 days. Or so. You probably have questions about this NBA season, and how the script will play out. Luckily, I've seen the script ahead of time, and I'm here to get you ready.
Memphis Grizzlies: How much do we care?
This sounds mean. But that’s okay because I’ve had a rough couple weeks.
It was only a few years ago where the Grizzlies seemed not just a promising young team but a year or two ahead of schedule, building around a core of Ja Morant, Jaren Jackson Jr., and Desmond Bane. I remember there even being somewhat legitimate discussions about whether you would want OKC’s future of Memphis’. People typically came down on the side of OKC, but it was fun to talk about!
It’s not fun anymore. OKC just won a championship, and the promising young core is no more. Ja Morant was approaching “new face of the league” status before Adam Silver decided to make it very clear that he considered the American pastime of being stupid with firearms was conduct detrimental to the league. You know, as opposed to domestic violence or sexual assault or something. Injuries had as much to do with stalling his momentum, but it just seems like Ja’s star falling takes Memphis with it.
Some draft picks that didn’t work out, some trades that seem like regrets in retrospect, and absolutely no evidence that ownership wishes to spend to make the team better. Attendance and energy seems to be waning at home games.
For the last few years there was a thought in the back of your head like, “If everything breaks right, maybe…” but it's hard to even get there this time around.
Utah Jazz: What are we?
Are they a basketball team? They have basketball players on the team, and they have a basketball coach. Usually they're running basketball plays. Like, it walks and quacks like a duck does. But it’s crazy what people can do with AI nowadays. It’s important to consider whether or not the Jazz are a real duck.
You would just think that after three years of seasons toward the tanking end of the spectrum, you'd have something more substantial to show for it. Collier is pretty cool, I think! Filipowski is looking tougher than I thought he would considering, well, stuff. Walker Kessler is still young. Brice Sensabaugh! Awesome name! Also okay at basketball things!
Cody Williams is there.
Also, Ace Bailey fired the dude that pulled all the levers that accidentally made Bailey end up there. I’m sure he’s in a good mood.
I don’t know what they do though. Their coach is supposed to be good. Danny Ainge is supposed to be smart. Luka doesn’t end up in Los Angeles without him.
I don’t know. They act more as a Lauri Markkanen container than anything else. It’d be nice to have some sort of base, some identity going into next year. I suppose, hopefully, perhaps this year could do that
Oklahoma City Thunder: Who is going to stop us but us?
That really is the question, as boring as it is. They were by far the best team last year, two contenders are down their best players, the Rockets just lost Fred VanVleet, and OKC should still be able to depend on quite a bit of internal growth from players at number two in the depth chart all the way down.
San Antonio Spurs: Where will Wemby rank as a top NBA player?
I can understand some people who care about the sport of basketball, and “teams,” and championships (for example, the person who wrote about the Utah Jazz not too long ago) might be more interested in how the team might improve with more familiarity and experience.
Not me.
The Spurs were, like, really good for a long time. That's nice and everything, but it's also really unfair because small market teams aren't supposed to be good. As punishment, they now have to be bad.
They don’t have to be bad forever, they only have to be bad as long as Wemby is on the team. If Wemby retires, gets traded, or leaves in free agency, the Spurs can again be good. I understand some people may not understand the justice system, and in many ways it is completely broken and illogical, but I am claiming authority in this matter, and I don’t know how anyone expects to stop me.
But on the plus side, they'll still have Wemby, and one hopes since they won't be getting wins (they're really bad now, remember?) that Wemby will be far more focused on getting absurd and disturbing stats. Quintuple-double with steals and blocks? Why not? If he does that well enough for ten years then the Spurs can have one playoff appearance as a reward, but that’s it.
Sacramento Kings: We can't already be back here, can we?
In the same period of time that I promise is not fictional when the Memphis Grizzlies were budding contenders, the Sacramento Kings were also good. There were beams and stuff. People who had not smiled in years were suddenly trash talking. The Sabonis and Haliburton deal seemed like a win on both sides. Mike Brown! Best ever offense! Coach of the Year!
I don’t want to move on from that moment yet, because it was real and it was awesome. Kevin Huerter had red hair! Malik Monk and Keegan Murray were looking like they were more than just solid rotation pieces, they could end up difference makers at their place in the depth chart. They were fun! Alex Len was…
oh no
the dream is fading…
It seems like a manic episode in retrospect. I can tell you all about those. Everything is moving really fast, everything is going to be great forever, you get the first inclinations the mania is starting to break so you do something stupid like fire your coach so you still feel alive and then suddenly it’s years later.
Where'd Fox go? Why are the so many Chicago Bulls here now? That s- didn't work in the other, worse conference! Jake LaRavia? REALLY?
So yeah. Just any indication that some good foundation was laid in the last few years would be nice. Just don't fall all the way back down to where you were. That’s called a depressive episode. Those are also bad.
Portland Trail Blazers: Is there something here?
The Blazers were already a fun team going into this season, and that was before the additions of Lillard (injured) and Holiday (not injured). They have fun, young defensive pieces in Toumani Camara, Donovan Clingan, and Matisse Thybulle (he’s young enough, a rookie dubbed the Chinese Jokic by some people who like getting really excited, and Deni Avdija, who is the best player in the league.
If they take a step forward from last year, they'd already be in play in territory, but… is it crazy to want to see more?
I know initial reports were that Holiday wasn't especially excited to be joining the team, but if they can get buy-in from Jrue then there are few players in the league you'd rather bring in for veteran leadership alone. And even if he did take a bit of a step back last year as a player, he was a high end starting point guard on a championship contender last year.
There are always these little flashes, like that win streak last year. And I won’t lie. I am rooting for Scoot Henderson hard. When he was being dishonestly mocked as “should maybe Scoot go number one?” I started getting bad vibes about where everything might go.
Cheering for you, Scoot. I can’t not root for anyone named “Scoot.” This is your breakout year.
Hopefully. I'm trying to be hopeful. I'm trans, and I live in America. It's hard.
Phoenix Suns: Our expectations were low after Server, but how did you manage this?
The Phoenix Suns, after receiving a bunch of lawsuits from ex-employees, are now trying to get current employees to sign contracts that would make it harder for them to sue in the future.
COOL!
Mat Ishbia is the only other Mat I know, and it's kind of awesome knowing that I'm better.
They aren’t the only team whose play this year is probably less important to me than what is going on with how the team is being run from an ethical standpoint, but even if you’re not top of the list, you don’t want to be on the list!
I'd love to distract you with something about the basketball playing, or the team, or the hope for this year, but it's difficult going from the white-knuckle “Please please please be good Bradley” and the like of the last two seasons to now looking around and being glad Booker is still, somehow, there.
As far as off-season moves go, they took a swing on the oft-injured center Mark Williams and still drafted a center in Khaman Maluach in the first round. There are other young players, but the top two from last year kind of lost their spot in the rotation. They drafted rookies. Maybe something else happened, but it’s all getting lost in the mental mire.
Grayson Allen is still there. It's worth pointing out that it's possible Allen's bad vibes were what undermined the team in the first place, but we don't have advanced stats for those kinds of things.
Have fun with Jalen Green though.
Minnesota Timberwolves: Can they take the next step?
Usually when teams perform as well as the Timberwolves have these last two years, my trust in them grows. “I’ve seen a good thing happen a few times now, so it feels pretty secure that that thing could in fact happen again.” Yep yep. That’s how trust works.
Even if I'm just fooling myself or taking the opinions of people smarter than me until I can form my own, usually I can point to something and be like “Yep, that's the glaringly obvious thing I missed that everyone's talking about now. Trust. It is here now in some capacity.”
I'm still looking for that with the Wolves.
Maybe I was a bit caught off guard by Ant’s growth as a player, by which I mean its direction rather than magnitude. It's great he added so much from behind the arc, but I was hoping to watch games and begin to understand something other than his shot, drive, or threat to do one or the other could do some work for him. And uh… I dunno. His assists actually fell last year to 4.5 per game despite being top-five league-wide in usage.
Or maybe I just don't believe the last two years happened. In 2024, it felt a disappointment to me that they lost to the Mavs. Once OKC and Denver went out in the second round, I was straight into “I can’t wait to see Minnesota versus Boston!” mode. And that’s my fault, but still. Last year just seemed like generally okay until Randle got hot in the playoffs for as long as he did.
Or maybe Rudy Robert makes me want bad things to happen, and my brain has been kind enough to work out an arrangement where I don't have to believe in a Minnesota sports team.
But all this team ever does is prove me wrong, each of the last three years, and in two of those three years they were better than I thought. Whatever. They'll probably win the whole thing.
Los Angeles Lakers: Does anyone get alienated?
I’m sorry if this is basic, but so am I.
As good as some Lakers players beyond the top two are, the team really only goes as far as Luka and LeBron can take them. I don’t think that’s news, and I don’t t think that's a bad thing! They are two of my favorite all-time players (and passers), and I’d like to think that if anyone could find a way to completely revolutionize a two-man offensive engine, it'd be them, my two best friends.
Maybe LeBron drives to the rim, throws a no look pass to Luka, who is looking away from the ball as he catches it sending LeBron’s man back away from the rim leaving just enough room for a double-no-look-give-and-go-alley-oop. And the backboard shatters.
The thing is, while I'm going to be doing everything in my power to send good vibes their way because I think there is the opportunity to see some ridiculously pretty basketball with the two of them, I'm going to be distracted. If the season looks to be heading down a bad path, does the team make a win now move? Do they believe they have enough now, or would they rather slow-play for a year down the line as the books clear? If LeBron does intend to retire a Laker, will that be as a vet in a holding pattern while the team builds around his replacement?
Man, I hope not. I hope LeBron somehow remains All-NBA for another three years and brings home another ring. I hope to see the most ridiculous angles ever caught on a Phantom Cam. I don't want the last few years of an all-time career to just be killing time.
LA Clippers: What does the plausible part of plausible deniability mean?
The other question is, “Where can I get Aspiration merch?” I'll make my own if I have to. I've made so many dumb shirts for myself. One is pink with a text bubble that says “Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food.” That shirt is funny to maybe a dozen people, and I'm not even one of them anymore.
Oh, well. I'm sorry if Clippers fans just want this year to be about basketball, but it won't. I hope you're not tired of jokes at everyone’s expense because they're still making 3-1 jokes about the Warriors today.
My recommendation is to get ahead of it. Think of some things that would really hurt your feelings, post them on social media, and then be like “I don’t even care bro. Nothing you can say can hurt my feelings. This stuff I just posted doesn’t even hurt my feelings.”
You’ll be lying, and you’ll cry, but you’ll win the argument.
Houston Rockets: Can Kevin Durant take them over the top?
I wanted to go with something regarding the loss of Fred Van Vleet, but no matter how much that plays into the Rockets’ season, adding KD is still the bigger deal.
Adding one of the best players of all time > losing one of the very good-est players of all time.
So one was probably hoping that within the Rockets’ offense during the regular season, there wouldn’t be a complete dependency on KD Ball to close out games. Durant with the clock running down is a scary thing for the opposing defense, but one thinks maybe Ime Udoka would want to get some clutch reps for Amen Thompson, Alperen Şengün, Jabari Smith Jr., or maybe Reed Sheppard. Those are situations impossible to emulate outside of gametime, and having a shooter like FVV on the court only would make the job of the young guys easier.
Well, it’s now KD and a bunch of young guys. Oh and Steven Adams again, which is probably nice, but you don’t give the ball to Steven Adams in crunch time.
So yeah, I’m immensely curious what KD does with this roster makeup, where he sees himself in the big picture, whether FVV being out changes his approach.
I’m watching KD. His job today is tougher than it was a few days ago, but this would be a heck of a time to begin another chapter in his career.
Golden State Warriors: Steph, do you mind?
The Golden State Warriors are Stephen Curry. They’re Draymond Green and Steve Kerr too, but they’re Stephen Curry.
If the Warriors do not have Stephen Curry, their identity disintegrates. They don’t have the team-wide shooting they used to back in Peak Dynasty form, Draymond Green is a paper bag filled with wasps and is liable to get thrown out of any game at any time, and we’re about to play the regular season, so Jimmy Butler is barely going to be around. Podz, Hield, and Kuminga exist, I suppose. But Curry initiates, and runs around picks, and sometimes sets them, and discombobulates everything. Hield can do some of that, but then who is spacing with him?
But the Warriors do have Steph Curry, and as long as Steph Curry is still the most dangerous shooter in the league (which he is), then the Warriors are scary af.
They’ll be interesting to me if they can make themselves something different? To me, for the last five years it has felt like the Golden State Warriors are a classic car slowly deteriorating that you can no longer find the right parts for, and you’re just popping on more and more “this is the best we can do!” decisions until eventually it’s not the same car anymore.
If they have Steph, they’re the same car.
Denver Nuggets: Are the offseason moves enough to put them in OKC’s tier?
It’s not quite to the same level as the Warriors, but the Nuggets feel in a fairly similar “let’s do whatever we can to keep this going as long as we can” mode. I’m not saying that’s bad! When you have an all-time great performing at a level like Jokic, you do not punt a year. The thing is, every time you add more to right now, you take a little away from the future. The threshold to “uh oh this is really bad” starts creeping up the calendar month by month until suddenly it’s the present. I mean, look at the Bucks. They traded for Kyle Kuzma.
But the Nuggets aren’t there yet. In fact, their move with the Nets opened up salary, made them younger, healthier, and more dynamic at the cost of some high leverage shooting. Russell Westbrook, MPJ, Dario Sarich, and MPJ’s bad vibes are gone, and in are Cam Johnson, Bruce Brown, Tim Hardaway Jr. (I’ll miss you), and Jonas Valunciunas. That’s pretty dang good!
I’m going to be the 1047th person to say this, but the Nuggets have been looking for a backup center to Jokic since before he was born, I think. Jonas is that. Despite the back and forth about whether or not he would play back in Greece, he’s there. If this can hold the non-Jokic minutes to hopefully somewhere near net-zero, suddenly the Nuggets go from “They have Jokic. Anything is possible.” to top-tier contender.
In my mind, anyway. And in the mind of a lot of other people. I’m not original.
Dallas Mavericks: When’s the next time you’re going to do something stupid?
Mark Cuban is out defending Steve Ballmer against Pablo Torre while posting on bsky things akin to “The answer to wealth inequality is more corporate tax breaks when a fraction of that money goes to a laboroer.” Every time one of the owners says something, it sounds like they only learned about basketball a couple days before they bought the team. Nico Harrison is still, somehow, making decisions which is like realizing you didn’t buy a dishwasher but a washing machine, but you keep throwing your plates in there and “Oooh, honey look, this plate didn’t shatter! Let’s keep the number one pick!”
And you can never rule out Kyrie being a moron.
I’m sorry for talking about non-basketball things so much in this article, but you have to understand something. It’s really, really hard to focus on basketball things when the people who are supposed to be in charge of doing the basketball things correctly, ethically, and in a way that doesn’t make me feel ill are doing the opposite. There are only so many times and so many ways you can feel the team moving counter to what you think might be best for it, for you, and for the city.
It’s a slow and nearly imperceptible attrition, but that’s how you lose the fans that are most loyal to you. They don’t leave you because you’re bad at basketball. They leave you because they straight up don’t trust you anymore.
Speaking of which.
New Orleans Pelicans: Can we please keep Herb and Trey?
Like that one horse book Twitter said back before Twitter made you dumb and evil: “everything happens so much.”
I am familiar with the management stylings of Joe Dumars and Troy Weaver. It didn’t take long for Pelicans fans to become aware, either. Many, actually, unfortunately, started bracing themselves exactly at the hire for things to get weird, and strange, and bad, and weird.
There are two kinds of weird: good weird and bad weird. This is bad weird, and that’s just how it’s going to be until someone else is in charge.
So this question more comes in the form of a prayer, beseeching whichever deity you think likes you best that day not to wake up to news of Herbert Jones or Trey Murphy III being dealt for, well, anything else.
Most of the diehard Pelicans fans I know have affinity for Zion, and Alvarado, and Missi, but Herb and Trey are in a special “They are perfect for what they do. They are young. Any replacement would be worse, older, or probably both. I want something to believe in.”
The team will also be playing basketball.