Yeah. LeBron James has a new Nike commercial in which he is kind of desaturated but there's a really shiny crown in his hands. In slow motion, he puts the crown on his head, and then he looks at the camera all “grrrrrr >:(“. In the mean time, a small child says things like “Tacos hate to see him coming” and “Basketball is light, and LeBron is the sun.”
Sounds fascinating, right? Here, go watch it yourself.
See what I mean?
LeBron James has a new Nike Commercial. I think he’s sitting down, but the colors are kind of muted, you know? Gives a bit of a desolate vibes. Did I mention there are closeups of whatever the ‘f’ sometimes? I think it’s a basketball. That’d make sense. Yeah, so anyway, he puts a crown on his head. Crown was big and shiny. Little kid is all “blah blah blah” and then boom. “Forever King.”
Let’s watch it again and see if we pick up on anything different this time.
No, seems about the same. None of the words are all that interesting. That’s just “ChatGPT, say nice things about LeBron.” He’s not wearing a shirt. I picked up on that. Drew McIntyre was called The Chosen One too. Also, the 2011 Finals did happen. LeBron did break. He just put himself back together stronger.
Hmm. Do you want to watch it again?
I don’t. I’m pretty sure this commercial wasn’t good. Let’s think of another one
First, the tones on LeBron can’t be muted. LeBron is the party! We need a Chuck E Cheese type atmosphere to bring in Gen Z!
Next, Go-Pro mounted directly to LeBron’s forehead. Won’t be used in the commercial, but I want the footage personally to see what it looks like to be really tall.
Then, professional wrestling. Have you noticed every NBA fan likes professional wrestling? You might be thinking “I’m an NBA fan, but I don’t like professional wrestling.” That’s because you’re a fake NBA fan and don’t like what you’re supposed to. Anyway, LeBron James does a shooting star press onto Trevor Ariza who is laying face down on the announce table under the impression here’s here for a chiropractor appointment.
Guest star: Kirby from Nintendo.
I’ll let the people at Nike take it from there. After all, they spawned Nico Harrison. They must know what they’re doing.