There’s something magical about the holidays, and it’s hard to pinpoint the source of it. Is it because of the everlasting spirit of giving? Is it because the Dallas Cowboys have once again been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention, and they aren’t going to make it to the NFC Championship game for the 30th straight year? No one really knows.
But it’s mean to punch down on poverty franchises like the one in Dallas. Instead of doing that, we should acknowledge that they are people too, and we should be kind to them and their delusional souls; we should acknowledge that they have hopes, dreams, and wishes. Let’s channel that holiday magic and manifest some holiday wishes for every franchise. Some of these wishes will lead to teams winning a Super Bowl, some of them will lead to a more enjoyable end to the season, and some of them will be about making the franchise better for the future.
Arizona Cardinals: Get something from Marvin Harrison Jr.
The Cardinals drafted Marvin Harrison Jr. fourth overall in the 2024 draft. When you draft one of those guys, you’re hoping for a Ja’Marr Chase or a Jayden Waddle (two wide receivers drafted in the top 10). Instead, MHJ has been pretty much completely disappointing.
In the last two games of the season, the Cardinals are probably wishing for him to show some sort of premier-draft-pick-worthy talent. That way, they’ll know if they can move off of him and send him somewhere else… where he’ll probably end up being an All-Pro. That’s how that works.
Atlanta Falcons: Kyle Pitts keeps being awesome
It feels like Kyle Pitts’ time in Atlanta is coming to an end. They drafted him with the fourth-overall pick in the 2021 draft, and like MHJ with the Cardinals, it hasn’t come anywhere close to paying off. The difference with Pitts is that a lot of his wasted years were because of Arthur Smith being his head coach for three years… and neglecting him for three years. Regardless, he’s going to be a free agent after this season.
He’s been a rock star over the past few games, and it’d probably be fun for Falcons fans to watch their leviathan of a tight end ball out before he leaves. They really have nothing else going on.
Baltimore Ravens: Lamar Jackson gets better (physically)
There’s a lot going on in Baltimore, and at the same time, there’s nothing going on in Baltimore. The Ravens’ season was over before it even began, and then they had to bail water from their sinking ship all Fall. They weren’t able to, and a lot of that had to do with Lamar Jackson being hurt/injured/banged up all season.
Maybe something happens this offseason and John Harbaugh leaves, or maybe it doesn’t. It’s clear that the only chance the Ravens have to actually be a real team is when their two-time NFL MVP is on the field. In order for that to happen, they need him to get healthy. Hoping your really good quarterback gets healthy is boring, but that’s the situation.
Buffalo Bills: Win the AFC
The Chiefs are dead, and that means the Bills are alive. Buffalo has gone to the playoffs for the last six straight years. In four of those years, the Chiefs have knocked them out in either the divisional round or the Conference championship game four times.
If there’s a year for the Bills to make it to the Super Bowl, it’s this year. That’s been their goal since day one, and the path has only gotten easier for them. Now, they just need to not play how they’ve been playing all season and then they can do it.
Carolina Panthers: This Bryce Young is the real Bryce Young
We’ve seen a handful of versions of Bryce Young since the Panthers drafted him with the first overall pick in the 2023 draft. There’s been the panicky pipsqueak, the inaccurate pipsqueak, the benchable pipsqueak, the gunslinger pipsqueak, and the winning pipsqueak who plays like he’s not a pipsqueak. The last version is where we are now.
He’s taken the Panthers to the verge of their first playoff berth since 2017, and if they make it, they would be NFC South Champions for the first time since 2015. If the real Bryce Young is this Bryce Young, they’re going to be in a really good spot going forward.
Chicago Bears: Caleb Williams throws for 4,000 yards
Every summer, someone posts the picture of every team’s last quarterback to throw for 4,000 yards, and every year, you see that the Bears have never had a quarterback throw for 4,000 yards. It has to be a kick in the nuts to see that if you’re a Bears fan.
Right now, Caleb Williams has thrown for an even 3,400 yards. If he can get to that 300-yard mark in the next two games, he’ll get the franchise off the schneid. Also, if he’s able to do that, it means the Bears are going to be playing their starters in Week 18. If that’s the case, then it also means they’ll be competing for the top seed in the NFC. That’s a double whammy of good things for Chicago.
Cincinnati Bengals: Everything looks bad for Duke Tobin and Zac Taylor
Last week, news came out about Zac Taylor getting a secret extension, and he was grilled about it during a press conference. He brushed everything off and told the beat reporters that they should ask Duke Tobin about it. That’s a line of questioning that the Cincinnati beats normally go down.
If you like the Bengals, you have to be happy about that. Those reporters ask questions to write their stories. The more stories there are, the more attention there is to the Bengals' borderline-criminal mismanagement. The more attention there is, the more pressure everyone is under. The more pressure there is, the better chance that things might change. If things change, they couldn’t possibly get worse.
Things don’t normally change with the Bengals. Duke Tobin has been their Director of Player Personnel/General Manager since 1999. In those 27 seasons, the Bengals have won four playoff games.
Cleveland Browns: Shedeur Sanders plays well enough to be worth something
The Browns need a quarterback, and Shedeur Sanders cannot possibly be their long-term guy… However, he can be a good placeholder. They need to build an offense around a quarterback, and then get their quarterback.
Now, this is the Browns we’re talking about here; the standard is unbelievably low. Sanders needs to just show that he can run an offense with a relatively moderate amount of success. If he can do that, the team can feel comfortable with drafting and signing guys who aren’t quarterbacks and restart their 100th offensive rebuild.
Dallas Cowboys: The Packers don’t make the playoffs
The Cowboys have nothing going for them. They haven’t been to an NFC Championship in 30 years, and that’s not going to change while Jerry Jones owns the team. Their Super Bowl is having their players getting talked about for MVP and player of the year awards.
The thing is, the players who can get talked about are all getting traded away and/or are getting old. It’s going to be hard for the talking heads to make those conversations seem real if the talent isn’t actually there.
Luckily for ol’ Jerry, he has the Packers’ 2026 first-round pick. If Green Bay makes it to the playoffs, that pick is automatically going to be outside the top 18… Which would be a real shame.
Denver Broncos: Keep the top seed
The Broncos currently have a 7-1 record when they play at home and a 4-2 record in away games. That’s the best home-game record and the fifth-best away record in the NFL. If they are going to make it to the Super Bowl, having the road to San Francisco go through Denver is going to be unbelievably important for them.
Detroit Lions: Unbridled Chaos
With the Lions losing to the Steelers on Sunday, their postseason fate is entirely out of their own hands, and it has been thrust into the hands of the Green Bay Packers.
The only way Detroit can make the playoffs is if they win out and the Packers lose their last two games. That means the Lions win in Minnesota and Chicago, and the Packers lose to the Ravens and the Vikings.
That means that a Green Bay team (possibly without Jordan Love) loses to a Baltimore team (possibly without Lamar Jackson) and a Minnesota team (possibly with Max Brosmer). That’s chaos, baby.
Green Bay Packers: Matt LaFleur figures it out
Matt LaFleur is a good head coach who runs a good offense. His problem is that he’s a bonehead who gets flustered or scared, and then chokes. In the biggest moments, he doesn’t coach to win games; he coaches not to lose games. In the postseason, that can mean the end of a season… and that’s what it’s meant for LaFleur during his time as Green Bay’s head coach.
The only way anyone can confidently think he’s done with his brain farts is for him to get past them in the postseason. If Matt LaFleur does indeed figure it out, that means the Packers have made it to the postseason, and it also means that they’ll be winning games against real defenses.
Houston Texans: Play in a non-Saturday playoff game
There’s a pretty negative connotation around being a team that plays on the Saturday of Wild Card weekend: they’re the teams that no one takes seriously and end up throwing up on themselves under the pressure of the postseason.
If the Texans make it to the playoffs, they get a Saturday game in the Wild Card round. As a franchise, they’ve made it to the postseason eight times, and each time they’ve played on Saturday… and most of those times have been in the early game on that Saturday.
The Texans have the most real defense in the entire NFL, and you can win playoff games with that kind of defense. If they can show that they’re a team that’s worth being taken seriously, they could maybe get out of that Saturday slot. OR if they win in Wild Card Weekend, they might also get out of the Saturday slot during the divisional round. Either way, it’s a win for Houston.
Indianapolis Colts: Good Daniel Jones news
Things are bad for Indianapolis right now. They just lost to the 49ers on Monday Night Football, and now, NFL.com has their chances of making the postseason at 3%. They’re as good as dead, despite starting the season with an 8-2 record.
To make matters worse, they traded two first-round picks to the Jets for cornerback Sauce Gardner. Realistically, that means that they’re not going to get a quarterback in the 2026 draft. It felt a whole lot like they were going to try to run it back with Daniel Jones next season… and then he popped his Achilles.
The team was showing that they were going to go all in on a guy, and now he’s a question mark to even start next season. There has to be some good news for Indianapolis at some point soon, and the best news would be something along the lines of Danny Dimes coming back from his leg exploding.
Jacksonville Jaguars: Don’t turn into the Jaguars
The Jaguars have been playing really well lately. In Week 10, they let Davis Mills lead the Texans on a 19-point comeback. That seemed like it might be a negative turning point for their season. It was the opposite; they’ve ripped off six straight wins since then…
But this is the Jacksonville Jaguars we’re talking about here. We’ve seen them have winning streaks and then puke all over themselves. The only way anyone can be sure that they’re not going to Jag this season away is if they don’t. It’s tough, but it’s true.
Kansas City Chiefs: End the pain
Super Bowl wins are cool, and the Chiefs have three of them in the past five seasons. Unfortunately for them, past Super Bowl wins don’t help your team win games.
Now, they’re going through a season from Hell. They were already not winning games at the crazy rate they had been over the past eight years, but then Patrick Mahomes blew up his knee… and then Gardner Minshew jacked up his knee too. Now the Chiefs have to play two more games with either Shane Buechele or Chris Oladokun… and one of those games is on Christmas… and also they’re moving from Arrowhead in the next handful of years.
You probably just want this all to be over if you’re a Chiefs fan.
Los Angeles Chargers: Justin Herbert doesn’t get broken into tiny little pieces
The Chargers’ offensive line has been a catastrophe this season, and Justin Herbert is paying the price in blood, quite literally. He’s been getting absolutely rocked behind the line of scrimmage all season long, and those kinds of things add up.
Yeah, he’s a super tough dude, which is something that will get him far, but you’d rather not have to base your season’s success on how tough your quarterback is… especially when his toughness is shown by him playing through injuries and getting bashed up every single game.
Los Angeles Rams: Don’t have to do a silent count for a few plays in the postseason
If Stan Kroenke really cared about his team winning, he would’ve made a really dumpy stadium that no one wants to go to. Instead, SoFi is a magical destination that draws in away fans. Because of that (and L.A. being a transplant city), the Rams almost never have a homefield advantage.
If they get the top seed in the NFC, their advantage is going to come from keeping other teams from having a true home-field advantage… The problem is that Sofi still gets pretty loud when the Rams are on the field.
In a perfect world for the Rams, they would get a first-round bye, and the Panthers would beat the Seahawks in the Wild Card round. Then the Panthers would go to Los Angeles. Of all of the potential postseason teams, it seems like Panthers fans would probably have the least likely chance of taking over Sofi. I have nothing to base that on, but it feels right.
Las Vegas Raiders: Geno Smith retires
The Raiders are lost and terrible. The only positive thing in or around that team is Maxx Crosby, and it doesn’t even seem like he’s having a whole lot of fun anymore.
The best thing that could happen to them is if Geno Smith retired. If that happens, there’s a chance that they could recoup some of the guaranteed money on his contract. This will never happen, but hey… You can wish for whatever you want.
Miami Dolphins: Quinn Ewers shows something
This is similar to the Browns’ situation, just significantly less historically sad. The Dolphins have a whole lot of issues everywhere on their roster, and the more resources they can spend on anyone who’s not a quarterback, the better.
If Ewers can do anything against the Buccaneers or the Patriots to elicit even the slightest amount of confidence that he can be a starting-caliber quarterback, it’ll make the vibes around the Dolphins’ offseason a whole lot better.
Minnesota Vikings: A Men in Black memory-erasing thing
After the Vikings beat the Lions in Week 9, J.J. McCarthy said that whole thing about "Nine", his alter ego. Since then, it’s been unbelievably embarrassing, and everyone has laughed at them and him.
If they could get one of those mind eraser things, they would most certainly abuse it and make everyone forget that McCarthy did such an unbelievably lame thing. The second part is that they also get to make everyone remember something different. You have to think they would make everyone think they picked McCarthy in the sixth round or something like that.
New England Patriots: Drake Maye, MVP
If you watch a Patriots game, whether it's home or away, you hear Pats fans chanting “MVP” anytime anything happens on offense. Drake Maye throws a bomb to Kyle Williams? “MVP.” Drake Maye hands the ball off to Rhemondre Stevenson for a 21-yard touchdown? “MVP.”
These people want an MVP-caliber quarterback, but to be fair, why wouldn’t they? It’s a little different for them because they went from 20 years of Tom Brady… then to washed-up Cam Newton, to Mac Jones, to Bailey Zappe. It was a rough transition from the top.
Now they have this really young, really good quarterback, and they want everyone to know about it. It’d be really cool if the Patriots had a longer refractory period, but what are you going to do?
New Orleans Saints: Shough everyone up
The Saints drafted Tyler Shough with the 40th overall pick in the 2025 draft, and then he lost the initial starting job to Spencer Rattler. Rattler started the first eight games of the season and lost the job.
Shough came in and started slow, but lately he’s been playing pretty solidly. He’s been a really big part of the Saints' three-game winning streak (two wins against divisional opponents), and he’s got an opportunity to end the season on a five-game winning streak and give the Saints something to look forward to in 2026… Also, it’d be fun to see the Shough t-shirts in the offseason.
New York Giants: No more concussion checks for Jaxson Dart
Jaxson Dart plays a fun brand of football. He puts his head down and tries to get the extra yard… even if that extra yard is meaningless and puts their offense at a third-and-seven instead of a third-and-eight.
He’s paid for it too; he’s been checked for concussions five times in the 11 games that he’s played this season. That’s unsustainable for the team, unsustainable for his career, and also unsustainable for his life (probably). The dude has got to chill out. Their season has been over for a month, and the only reason he’s blasting his face into other people’s faces is because of some weird sense of pride. Save it for 2026.
New York Jets: The Giants, the Raiders, and the Browns win
There are four teams that can get the No. 1 draft pick in the 2026 draft. The Jets, the Giants, the Raiders, and the Browns. The problem is that the Giants and Raiders have a worse record than the Jets. Luckily, those two teams play each other in Week 17, so one of them will win. The Jets have the same record as the Browns, so Cleveland will need to win a game too.
To sum it up: The Jets are hoping for the worst teams in the NFL to win multiple games… so, that’s bad.
Philadelphia Eagles: Have the offense be a little bit more than terrible against a good defense
The Eagles have a Super Bowl-caliber defense and an offense that’s wildly unreliable. They dropped 31 points on the Raiders two weeks ago and 29 points on the Commanders last week… but that’s not exactly impressive. As a matter of fact, every defense they play in the final four weeks of the season is terrible.
When they go to the playoffs, their defense is going to be able to keep them in games by holding teams to fewer than 20 points, but they still might lose because the offense can’t move the ball.
If that offense can be just a tiny bit better than what they were in the middle stretch of the season, they’ll be able to make a real and comfortable postseason run.
Pittsburgh Steelers: Win a playoff game
Less than a month ago, Pittsburgh was crumbling and wanted Mike Tomlin out. Now they’ve ripped off three straight wins against the Ravens, the Dolphins, and the Lions. Things are on the up and up, and vibes are good-ish.
That could all be masked, though. The Steelers haven’t won a playoff game since the 2016 postseason. If they keep that train rolling, there’s going to be hell to pay in Western Pennsylvania. Life is going to be a whole lot easier for everyone in and around the Steelers if they just win a playoff game.
Teams do it all the time. Why can’t they do it this season?
Seattle Seahawks: Sam Darnold doesn’t turn into Sam Darnold
The Seahawks very well may be a world-beating team. They have a gut-ripping defense, a very aggressive running game, a passing game that can explode at any moment, and also a really good kicker just for fun.
The problem is that we’ve seen what Sam Darnold is capable of, and it’ll end your season. It’s who he was for the first five years of his career, it’s who he was at the very end of the 2024 season, and it’s who he’s been a couple of times this season.
If you’re the Seahawks, you have to hope that super terrible Sam Darnold has been suffocated by the super good Sam Darnold.
San Francisco 49ers: Catch one single break
So far, the 49ers' season is being defined by how resilient they are. They lost a bunch of players to injuries, including their starting quarterback and their future Hall-of-Fame linebacker… but they kept winning games.
On Monday night, they beat the Colts to clinch a spot in the playoffs, which is great… but George Kittle also had a little bit of an ankle injury. This team can’t catch a break. If you’re the 49ers, you would wish that the last two games of the season just go off without a hitch. They probably won’t, but at least you tried.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Make it to the playoffs
At the beginning of the season, the Buccaneers were the class of the NFC with their 6-2 record. Since then, they’ve gone 1-6 with two separate three-game losing streaks. They went from running the NFC South to fighting for a chance to play an extra game in January.
It stinks that they have to use their holiday wish on something that looked like a sure thing two months ago, but them's the breaks. You can’t be dropping winnable games in December, no matter how hurt you are.
Tennessee Titans: A real head coach
The Titans hired Bill Callahan to be their head coach before the 2024 season, and they went 3-14. Then they started this season 1-5. Callahan did a bunch of stuff during games and said a bunch of stuff during press conferences that showed he didn’t understand the rules of football, and the Titans fired him.
Callahan’s whole claim to success was that he was Joe Burrow’s offensive coordinator in Cincinnati. Hopefully, the Titans learned that you shouldn’t hire an OC to be a head coach just because his quarterback was elite. They could’ve looked at the Raiders and Josh McDaniels, the Giants and Brian Daboll, or the Commanders and Eric Bienemy… but they didn’t, and they learned the hard way.
They have a chance to right their wrongs this offseason and find a guy who can help Cam Ward grow. Maybe that guy won’t be their long-term HC, but it has to be a guy who at least kind of knows what a catch is.
Washington Commanders: Lose out
At this point last season, the Commanders were getting ready for a playoff run. Now, they’re trying to die with dignity. If the season ended today, they would have the seventh-overall draft pick, and according to ESPN, they have a 29.5% chance to get a top-five draft pick.
The only way for them to do that is to get swept by the Cowboys on Christmas and then get swept by the Eagles in Week 18. In a perfect world, you wouldn’t have to have those massive nut punches to end a season… but that’s what happens when you go out of your way to build a roster that is mostly players who are 29 years or older.