It’s easy to head into Sunday saying, ‘I don’t want the Patriots to win the Super Bowl because of the dynasty and all that,’ and you’re right to think that way. But for some people, that’s too easy. Maybe you want to be different. Maybe you want a new, non-financial reason that you’re rooting for whomever you’re rooting for. And that's why I’m here. Thirty fanbases have ties to this game. Some of those ties are looser than others, but they are ties nonetheless. This is the Super Bowl LX rooting guide for every other franchise.
Arizona Cardinals
- Root for: Patriots
- Reason: Chaos
The Cardinals are in a tough spot on a global scale. They’re in Quarterback Purgatory (and inching toward quarterback hell). People are making fun of their new head coach’s haircut. And every other team in their division is an absolute wagon.
At this point, the only thing that you’d want as an Arizona fan is for chaos to engulf the football world, and that means the underdog winning the Super Bowl. It also just so happens to mean a team in their division would lose the Super Bowl, so that’s a bonus too.
Atlanta Falcons
- Root for: Austin Hooper
- Reason: Onwards and upwards
The Falcons picked Austin Hooper in the third round of the 2016 draft, so it’s been a minute, but he was a product of Atlanta. Now he’s the Patriots' TE2, which is key: If Drake Maye resorts to getting the ball to his TE2, that means the other guys who are much bigger threats aren’t getting the ball, and things are going poorly for New England. At the end of the day, that’s what Falcons fans really want.
Baltimore Ravens
- Root for: Mike Macdonald
- Reason: Vicariousness
In most cases, you’ll generally root for a coordinator who leaves because they got a head coaching job. Mike Macdonald left the Ravens after the 2023 season, and in his last game, his defense allowed only 17 points to the Chiefs in the AFC Championship game.
That’s to say, he left on good terms, and you’re probably wanting your guy to win.
Buffalo Bills
- Root for: Seahawks
- Reason: Grasping at straws
If Drake Maye wins a Super Bowl before Josh Allen, Bills fans would be right to dismantle the new Highmark Stadium. As a matter of fact, that should actually be encouraged.
Carolina Panthers
- Root for: Sam Darnold
- Reason: He was a flash in the pan
The Jets used a third-overall draft pick on Sam Darnold, and the Vikings let him walk so they could roll with J.J. McCarthy. Those were pretty high-stakes decisions that paid off just about as terribly as you could imagine. The Panthers, on the other hand, traded a fourth and a sixth-round pick for him and then paid him $18.8 million for a fifth-year option; that’s significantly lower stakes.
In his time in Carolina, he dealt with some injuries, and then Baker Mayfield took over. No one is thinking, ‘I can’t believe we let Darnold go.’ Instead, it’s more of a ‘Good for him.’
Chicago Bears
- Root For: Sam Darnold
- Reason: Pain for Minnesota
I’m going to repeat this for pretty much every NFC North team: If you can root for a team in the Super Bowl and their success makes a team in your division look like absolute buffoons, you’ll root for that team. Darnold winning makes Minnesota look like the dummiest dummy to walk the face of the Earth.
Cincinnati Bengals
- Root For: Drake Maye to get sacked five times
- Reason: Remove a blemish
In the 1987 postseason, Wade Wilson, the Vikings’ quarterback, was sacked a record-setting 14 times. That record stood for 34 years until the 2021 postseason, when Joe Burrow was sacked a whopping 19 times. Drake Maye is on the verge of breaking that record.
So far, he’s been sacked 15 times this postseason. He’s still five sacks away from breaking the record, but he’s been sacked exactly five times in each game. There’s a real chance that he can set Burrow free. And if it doesn’t happen this year? Whooooo buddy… that record might never get broken.
Dallas Cowboys
- Root for: Patriots
- Reason: DeMarcus Lawrence was mean
DeMarcus Lawrence was with the Cowboys for 11 seasons until this offseason, when he went to Seattle in free agency. In March, he was asked about what it’s like leaving Dallas, and he said, “Dallas is my home… But I know for sure I’m not gonna win a Super Bowl there. So… Yeah.” That was mean. It was right, but it was mean.
Denver Broncos
- Root for: Seahawks
- Reason: Bo Nix would’ve won
Some people (Read: Sean Payton) tricked themselves into thinking that Jarrett Stidham was going to be the next Nick Foles; that he was going to be the next backup quarterback to win a Super Bowl. That didn’t happen.
For Broncos fans, it’s got to be a major league kick in the nards to watch your team get to a Championship game, only to immediately find out that your quarterback had a season-ending injury 15 minutes later. They’re right to think of the Patriots as an impostor representative for the AFC in the Super Bowl, and they’re right to root for their downfall.
Detroit Lions
- Root for: Mike MacDonald
- Reason: Go Big Blue?
Along with the whole “Darnold winning makes Minnesota look like the dummiest dummy to walk the face of the Earth” thing (see the Chicago Bears section), there’s probably a decently sized contingent of Lions fans who are also Michigan fans.
Before Mike Macdonald got hired as the defensive coordinator for the Ravens, he was the defensive coordinator for Michigan. So, not only would Seattle winning look good for them, but it would also mean that Tom Brady gets held in even higher esteem for them as well… if that makes sense.
Green Bay Packers
- Root for: Sam Darnold
- Reason: Minnesota Misery
The only real link the Packers have to the Super Bowl is that John Schneider and Eliot Wolf (the Seahawks’ and the Patriots’ general managers, respectively) used to be front office guys in Green Bay. That’s not really a position that you root for. So we’re going to default to the NFC North wanting the worst for the Vikings (see the Chicago Bears section).
Houston Texans
- Root for: Patriots
- Reason: You’re not bad if you lose to the champ
This is a classic case of, ‘If you have to lose to somebody, then you might as well lose to the eventual champion.’
Indianapolis Colts
- Root for: Seahawks
- Reason: Decades of disdain
It’s been 10 years since Peyton Manning retired, and it’s been 15 years since he played for the Colts… But there are still Colts fans who hold the Manning/Brady rivalry in a particularly hateful chamber of their heart, right? You have to hope so.
Jacksonville Jaguars
- Root for: Seahawks
- Reason: Marrone Malice
Doug Marrone started his tenure as the Jags’ head coach on a pretty hot foot. They were 10-6 and made it to the AFC Championship game in 2017. And then it went downhill fast. In the next three seasons, the Jags went 5-10, 6-10 and 1-15.
Now he’s the Patriots’ offensive line coach, so not only do the Jags get to root against a former head coach who stunk up the joint, but also they get to naturally root against New England. That’s not a bad Sunday.
Kansas City Chiefs
- Root for: Seahawks
- Reason: The dynasty isn’t dead until we say it’s dead
The Chiefs’ relatively brief dynasty is on life support. If the Patriots win the Super Bowl, it won’t actually mean anything toward what the Chiefs have going on, but there will be a definite vibe shift this offseason. Dare I say there will be real (read: drunken) conversations throughout the summer asking, ‘Was the Chiefs’ run just an intermission in the Patriots’ show?’ Yikes.
Los Angeles Chargers
- Root for: Hunter Henry
- Reason: You never forget your first
This is very similar to the Falcons’ situation with Austin Hooper: The Chargers picked Hunter Henry with the 35th overall pick in the 2016 draft. Aside from the 2018 season, when he jacked up his knee, he had some pretty solid seasons. If you invent a tight end, you get to claim him as your guy forever. The problem is that it also means you're rooting for the Pats. It can go either way.
Las Vegas Raiders
- Root For: Seahawks
- Reason: Anyone but Josh McDaniels
Man… Do you remember how much the Raiders hated Josh McDaniels? That was crazy. It has to be very cathartic to root against a guy that all of your players hate.
Miami Dolphins
- Root for: Seahawks
- Reason: Spread the pain around
The Dolphins are going through it right now. They went through the highest of highs when Mike McDaniel got hired as their head coach, to the lowest of lows during his four-year tenure. They know the Bills are down in the dumps, so now they just need the Patriots to have their hearts ripped out so everyone in the AFC East can be on even ground, vibes-wise.
Minnesota Vikings
- Root For: Sam Darnold to get pulled
- Reason: Delusion
Sam Darnold having such a terrible game that he gets pulled is the only way the Vikings can possibly look good this season… and even then, they still look very, very bad. It’s tough for those folks up north.
New Orleans Saints
- Root for: Rashid Shaheed kick return
- Reason: If you love something, let it go
Rashid Shaheed was an undrafted free agent for the Saints in 2022. If the Falcons and the Chargers invented Austin Hooper and Hunter Henry by drafting them, the Saints discovered fire by developing Shaheed. Then they traded him at the deadline this season.
If you’re a Saints fan, you have to be rooting for the guy, especially since it seems like it’s going to be a hot minute until the Saints are competitive at a championship level.
New York Giants
- Root for: Seahawks
- Reason: Mostly Leonard Williams, some Julian Love
The Giants suck the talent from anyone who walks through the door. As soon as they leave, they get all that talent back and then some. In 2023, Seattle signed Julian Love (who the Giants drafted) in free agency and traded for Leonard Williams (who was with the Giants for five seasons). Since then, Love became a pro-bowler, and Williams became a two-time Pro Bowler and an All-Pro player.
If you understand the magical effect of the Giants organization and that the players don’t have a choice but to play poorly for them, then you should be rooting for these two guys to win a Super Bowl.
New York Jets
- Root For: Just watch the Olympics
- Reason: Mental health is mental wealth
This game shouldn’t be on your TV. Either Sam Darnold or the Patriots will win a Super Bowl. Just watch something else and help your mentals.
Philadelphia Eagles
Root For: Milton Williams
Reason: Kings stay kings
The only player who has a chance to win back-to-back Super Bowls this season is Milton Williams, which is a cool idea that Birds fans are hoping doesn’t become reality. A perfect situation would be a low-scoring game, where Milton has 1.5 sacks (.5 fewer than he did in Super Bowl LIX) and a whole bunch of run stops; you want the guy to have a great game, but the Pats to lose.
Pittsburgh Steelers
- Root for: Seahawks
- Reason: All-time win record
The Patriots and the Steelers are currently tied at six for the most Super Bowl wins. They’ve taken two entirely different roads to those six championships, but they’re both at the same spot right now. If the Pats get this one, it’s going to send the Steel Curtain to a level of relative championship irrelevancy that they haven’t been at since 1976. That’s not what you want.
San Francisco 49ers
- Root For: Patriots
- Reason: They’re not the Seahawks
It would be very insulting for San Francisco’s divisional rival to win a Super Bowl in San Francisco.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
- Root For: Carlton Davis
- Reason: Good for him
There might be some Buccaneers fans who adopted Tom Brady and root for the Patriots as their AFC team, but those people are unhinged. The dog Tampa Bay has in this race is Carlton Davis, who they drafted in 2018. He signed a three-year, $60 million contract with the Patriots last offseason, and that’s pretty much it. Good for him getting a chance to get another ring.
Tennessee Titans
- Root For: Patriots
- Reason: Spite
Do Titans fans dislike Mike Vrabel? They shouldn’t. He was a good head coach in Tennessee, and it was weird that they fired him. They should be rooting for Vrabel to get a ring as a head coach, just to spite the Titans’ ownership.
Washington Commanders
- Root For: Patriots
- Reason: Christian Gonzalez vs. Emmanuel Forbes Jr.
With the 16th-overall pick in the 2023 NFL draft, the Commanders picked Emmanuel Forbes Jr., the pip-squeak cornerback from Mississippi State. With the 17th-overall pick in the 2023 NFL draft, the Patriots drafted Christian Gonzalez, the stud cornerback from Oregon. Forbes was a dud in Washington, and Gonzalez has gone on to be a Pro-Bowler and an All-Pro player.
The timing is key here: Daniel Snyder sold the Commanders to Josh Harris in June of that year, and the Forbes draft pick was essentially the last thing that ownership/front office cabal ever did. Gonzalez being a key player in a Patriots Super Bowl win would tie a nice bow on the end of that era of Washington football.