3 coach replacements for the Dallas Mavericks if (when) they fire Jason Kidd
Jason Kidd's coaching abilities may not measure up to those of his NBA counterparts — could a stack of four eggs, a large language model, or Red Bull's animation team do a better job?
The problem with Jason Kidd is he’s not very good. In a league with a lot of good coaches, that puts the Dallas Mavericks at a disadvantage.
Now, I need to be clear. Jason Kidd is a far better coach than I could ever be. I think any assumption to the contrary is stupid. However, we are not comparing Jason Kidd to me. We're comparing him to the other 29 coaches in the league. How many coaches would you take Jason Kidd ahead of?
So it might be time for the Mavericks to start thinking about some new, out-of-the-box candidates. I have three in mind.
3. Four eggs, stacked vertically
You know what's hard? Not spilling drinks. You know what else is hard? Balancing an egg on top of another egg.
They just don't want to do it. They're just like "uh, um, uh, no. We are round, and we refuse to cooperate." Then they fall over and crack. This is why you boil the eggs beforehand.
The thing is, though, I'm not sure if boiling the egg is cheating to make it easier or making things harder. When it's not boiled, the non-shell part of the egg is all whooshy and moves around. Is that good or bad? I think it might mean that everything will eventually settle into the best balance and that cooked egg could lock an out-of-balance egg in place, which would be bad.
And those are qualities you find in a good coach. It'd also give Mark Cuban a chance to reapply his proprietary toasting technology. Sure you also want your coach to have good basketball acumen, emotional intelligence, and sentience, but are we sure that four eggs stacked vertically wouldn't think to spam Luka and Kyrie pick and roll and reverse pick and roll?
It's hard to say, really.