It's actually time for the Braves to hit the panic button

Panic on the streets of Atlanta. Panic on the streets of Marietta. I wonder to myself. "Could the Braves ever be good again?" I wish I cared as much about Atlanta Braves baseball as I am sure Morrissey does. If only I could be so lucky. Summer has not even technically arrived just yet, but I need to find something better to do with my evenings than to stream Braves baseball because Comcast is awful!

It is more than a large enough sample size. The Braves have been a sad bag of crap for the better part of two months now. A team constructed around offensive prowess has been anything but that. Sometimes I wonder if the hitters switched to the other side of the plate if offensive production would improve. For those that swing both ways like Ozzie Albies, I'd suggest him toeing the rubber instead.

Every quote coming out of Brian Snitker, Matt Olson or Alex Anthopoulos' mouths feel like empty-calorie nonsense. It has devolved from being baseball people to some sort of posturing politician crapola who doesn't want to be better and doesn't have his constituents' best interests in mind. For the first time all season, I would say slam that panic button like the subscribe button over on YouTube.

While losing to the Baltimore Orioles is not the worse thing in the world, how they lost to them sure is.

Michael Harris II had a lead-off triple to start the game, and the Braves could not score a single run!

The Atlanta Braves need to hit the panic button harder than a baseball

For as hard as the Braves are hitting the baseball into the opposition's glove, I would suggest that their elite upper-body strength reserved for foremen, factory workers and field hands go to work to build a better baseball team. Yes, I am saying that these Braves bats should be replaced with hammers, shovels and pick-axes to build a new house that Hank didn't build. Where is Chipper at?

Maybe that is what the team needs? Chipper Jones coming out of the Truist Park bleachers like Atlanta's 12th man to take over and manage this team. If Ted Turner could manage this team for a day, then let Chipper manage the team for the rest of the year. Heck, let him build the team, too. Just give him free rein to do whatever he wants like Bill Belichick used to do running the New England Patriots.

Surely, there will be a day when watching Braves baseball will be fun again. In the meantime, I will have my head buried in the sand like an ostrich, waiting to be told when it is safe to resurface. By that time, I hope Anthopoulos has reshaped the roster and that Comcast decided to stop being the worst corporation on Earth. Give me my damn Braves back on Bally and stop having outages every day!

For roughly $10 million a year, I would gladly slash .041/.124/.124 on the season for the 2024 Braves.