Ranking the 2024-25 NBA rookies by nicknames
By Ian Levy
We've spent much of the summer obsessing over Summer League performances and roster fits and trying to figure out which NBA rookies are most set up to succeed this season. But one variable we haven't looked at is the relative strengths of their nicknames. Wingspan, athleticism, 3-point shooting and highlight dunks are all well and good, but they all hit differently when it forces Kevin Harlan to drop your coolest nickname on national television.
Below, I've ranked the top 15 NBA rookies for this season based on nickname strength. Some of these nicknames are things the players have actually embraced in the past. Some were culled from the depths of social media. Some are straight from my broken brain. If your team's rookie does not appear on this list it's because I couldn't find a good enough nickname for them and couldn't think of one myself.
Playing with initials and jersey numbers, physical attributes, home towns and accomplishments, here are the best nicknames in the 2024-25 NBA rookie class.
15. Dillon Jones, Pick No. 26, Oklahoma City Thunder — Mr. Do it All
Apt but lame.
14. Baylor Scheierman, Pick No. 30, Boston Celtics — Showtime
Scheierman was taken by the Celtics but his nickname has clear connections to the Lakers. He's definitely going to be sent back to the drawing board to come up with something else.
13. Matas Buzelis, Pick No. 11, Chicago Bulls — The Matador
There are a lot of variations available for Matas, playing with the letters in his first name but none are that interesting or appropriate. Matador is probably the best of the bunch but gets knocked down the list because it implicitly points at his shaky defense.
12. Isaiah Collier, Pick No. 29, Utah Jazz — Pick Six
I guess this is a nod to his propensity for steals that turn into transition buckets? But it's such a narrow sliver of what he does and it doesn't connect to anything else about his game, appearance, name or jersey. He'll clearly have to find something else if he really wants to break out.
11. Rob Dillingham, Pick No. 8, Minnesota Timberwolves — Big Shot Bob
A few bonus points for turning Robert Horry's "Big Shot Rob" into "Big Shot Bob" which is inexplicably and indisputably more fun. But it's still a retread and one he'll have to actually re-earn by making some bg shots.
10. Stephon Castle, Pick No. 4, San Antonio Spurs — Rook
This is a fun bit of wordplay, nodding to both him being a rookie and the chess piece known colloquially as a castle. But it's a bit too subtle to really land.
9. Bub Carrington, Pick No. 14, Washington Wizards — lil bub
Check out his Soundcloud?
8. DaRon Holmes II, Pick No. 22, Denver Nuggets — Deuce
It's not earth-shattering but it's an obvious match and not without panache.
7. Nikola Topic, Pick No. 12, Oklahoma City Thunder — Hot Topic, Top Dog
Top Dog is terrible but Hot Topic is fun, especially if he leans in and starts playing in some dark eyeliner.
6. Alex Sarr, Pick No. 2, Washington Wizards — Sarrface, The Elixir, The Cure,
The Elixir is a play on a mispronunciation of his name and The Cure is a slightly catchier variation even futher from the source. But Sarrface is right there and just too good to pass up. As an added bonus it came with a built-in catch phrase, with Sarr screaming "Say hello to my little friend" after every highlight block or thunderous dunk.
5. Ron Holland, Pick No. 5, Detroit Pistons — Dutch
Simple and obvious, but it also just has a nostalgic cool.
4. Reed Sheppard, Pick No. 3, Houston Rockets — Bluegrass Jesus, IRS
IRS is a play on his real name and initials — Isaiah Reed Sheepard — and there are some fun tax man variations. But Bluegrass Jesus is a familiar template and too fun not to catch on. Sheppard has already been spotted with a new mustache and if he grows out a modest mullet this one could easily stick around for his entire career.
3. Dalton Knecht, Pick No. 17, Los Angeles Lakers — Knecht Four
There are multiple NBA players whose nicknames have been some permutation of their name or initials with their jersey number — PG-13, CP3, AK47, 3D. But Knect Four is instantly in the upper echelon of this category a perfect play on his last name and one that he clearly recognized by claiming the No. 4 jersey for the Lakers this season.
2. Donovan Clingan, Pick No. 7, Portland Trail Blazers — Cling Kong
This is an established nickname, given to him by his college coach Dan Hurley. It works on multiple levels is fun to both say and scream and is already probably a top-20 NBA nickname even before Clingan has played a single NBA game.
1. Zach Edey, Pick No. 9, Memphis Grizzlies — Zachille O'Neal, Big Maple, Yukon Yao, Maple Ming
As good as Cling Kong is, Zach Edey could take this top spot with any of the four iterations above (all of which have been making the rounds for some time). I'm partial to Zachille O'Neal and apparently Edey has already embraced that one but all of these are instantly among the best nicknames in the league — funny, playful, apt and honorific.
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