After Tuesday night, I picture the Toronto Raptors tank like I do a backfiring firearm in Looney Tunes. They deserved exactly what they got.
Just for context, let’s set the stage.
The Raptors beat the Orlando Magic 114-113 in a game they very much did not intend to win.
Would you like to see what it looked like?
Vertical videos are a scourge. It’s like trying to watch media on a Juul.
Anyway, this wasn’t unbelievable just because Ja’Kobe Walter is a rookie, and it wasn’t unbelievable just because he made a ridiculous isolation three off the dribble. It went against God's plan. God, in this case, is Masai Ujiri.
Maybe we should have known. Drake is from Toronto, and he sang about God’s plan. Look what happened to him.
This shot should not have gone in. This play should not have worked. It probably shouldn’t have even been possible. The Raptors, players themselves excluded, were doing everything in their power to keep a win from happening.
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Here’s a quick timeline on the Raptors unwelcome win:
- With 3:51 remaining in the third, two-way player A.J. Lawson checks into the game. He never checks back out.
- With 9:43 remaining in the fourth, rookie second-round draft pick Jamal Shead checks in for Immanuel Quickley. He never checks back out.
- At 8:07 left in the fourth, Orlando Robinson checks in for Jakob Poeltl. He never checks back out.
- At 7:49 left in the fourth, R.J. Barrett checks in for Scottie Barnes. You know, their All-Star. Scottie Barnes does not check back in.
- At 6:40 in the fourth, rookie Ja’Kobe Walter checks in for Jared Rhoden. An improvement, actually?
- And at 1:37 left in the game, Barrett is subbed back out for the return of two-way player Jared Rhoden.
Two two-way players, two rookies, and a backup center. Not only did they finish the game, they were the five Raptors to play the most minutes in the fourth.
This was a tank move. Not even an ethical tank move. Four better players (perhaps their four best players) were all subbed out for people whose names would not be readily recognizable to many NBA fans. All this so Toronto might be more likely to land the No. 1 pick in the NBA Draft, aka Cooper Flagg.
Ja'Kobe Walter didn't care. He called game. I picture Bugs Bunny shoving a carrot into Elmer Fudd’s shotgun.