This Week In Sports Apparel: Reebok’s Ugliest Sneaker Release Ever?
By Tim Ryan
The viciously competitive market for all things sports apparel — most significantly, sneakers — tends to bring out some of the very best and the absolute worst from the major players in the industry. Because, just like in any other business, bold risks must be taken and shrewd moves need to be made in order to gain that necessary edge.
For a brand like Adidas, the key to recent worldwide glory has come through obvious winners, like signing the same dude who had the balls to sell A PLAIN WHITE T-SHIRT for $120 and have it sellout instantaneously.
With every big brand entrenched in a chaotic battle for that spot on the throne, a slew of sneaker releases are thrust upon us every week along with a ton of new merchandise, making failure an inevitable reality; sometimes on a regular basis.
So given that consistent stench of colossal fail, this week we’re gonna mix things up a bit and sprinkle in some nostalgia, so as to properly balance out things out.
Speaking of fail…
Reebok Instapump Fury “Overbranded” – $175
Last week, Future and Reebok announced an apparel partnership and today marks its first shoe offering. Boy oh boy, where do we begin?
For starters, give Reebok credit for absolutely nailing it with the use of “Overbranded” in this sneaker release, because everything about this shoe is so over the top I can’t believe it’s real. This reeks of an unsupervised art project.
If you find yourself wondering why you haven’t heard much about Reebok or know anyone who has worn a pair of Reeboks since the Iverson days, look no further than the photo above.
In the spirit of full disclosure, it’s worth noting that Future didn’t design the shoe or take part in the design process, but he has been wearing them on tour for the past three months so his name is going along for the ride in this release; as it should.
Because as one can plainly see, Reebok needs all the help it can get in this sales effort.
But hey, check out the “Collegiate Navy/Excellent Red” version!
Wow, just wow. Pray for Reebok.
*****
Nike Anthracite “Salute to Service” Performance Hoodies – $84.99
If you’re gonna spend some money on NFL gear for your favorite team — especially as we head into the cold weather — these “Salute to Service” hoodies by Nike are by far and away the cleanest, sharpest look I’ve come across.
Plus, it’s half the price of buying a jersey. And if you happen to be a grown adult, you shouldn’t be buying authentic player jerseys anyway.
*****
Vintage Manute Bol GSW Caricature T-Shirt – $159
This all-timer of a gem is up for grabs on eBay for a cool $159.
The first thing to jump out at me was that good old Manute Bol looks far more menacing than he ever did on the court, but you have to appreciate him holding the basketball hoop in one hand as he openly taunts onlookers while preparing to drop the ball in for an effortless two points.
While $159 is obviously an insane amount of money for a t-shirt, if I had $175 to blow, I’d buy this shirt in honor of the late Bol — instead of the Reeboks — and pocket the extra 16 bucks. No-brainer.
Wear this shirt to one Warriors game, or any NBA game for that matter, and you’re a legend for life.
*****
NBA All Star Mitchell & Ness NBA “All Over” Snapback- $60
Amazingly, this highly subtle hat was originally $75. Wake me when this certified mess is marked down to $7.99.
If you already own this, it’s safe to say you probably have the matching jacket too.
Unless of course, you prefer your head to be peppered with Eastern Conference logos. Have no fear though, because that one’s available too.
Yay!
*****
Vintage Boston Celtics ’86 Champions Caricature “Six Pack” Shirt – $49.98
Caricature versions of Larry Bird, Danny Ainge, Robert Parish, Dennis Johnson, Kevin McHale AND Bill Walton inside a champagne-themed “Pop L.A.” six pack? For $49.98, this honestly feels like a steal.
Especially since there are probably three people on earth who even knew this t-shirt ever existed.
The expressions of a very satisfied Bird, a child-like Ainge, and a dazed McHale were enough for me, but check out Walton. The dude is just mesmerized by the spinning ball and I have no doubt his presence next to McHale had an effect on the power forward’s “out there” expression.
*****
Boston Celtics “Beat L.A” Jack Nicholson Caricature T-Shirt – $13.69
via eBay.com
We saved the best for last this week. Just look at that caricature of Jack. Even Laker fans have to acknowledge the greatness on display here.
At the friendly price of $13.69, I just might have to snatch this thing up despite having zero rooting interest in the Lakers-Celtics rivalry.
*****
Previously: The Ridiculous Air McFlys Are Finally Here
Previously: This Week In Sports Apparel: Incredibly Ugly Yeezys Stole The Show
Previously: This Week In Sports Apparel: Terrible Sneakers And Hats
For more unapologetic mockery and utter nonsense, follow Tim Ryan on Twitter and Instagram.