This Week In Sports Apparel: The Ridiculous Air McFlys Are Finally Here
By Tim Ryan
The increasingly competitive market for all things sports apparel — most significantly, sneakers from movies — tends to bring out the best and worst from the major players in the industry. Because just like any other business, necessary risks must be taken and bold moves need to be made in order to gain that necessary edge.
For some brands, the key to recent worldwide glory has come through obvious no-brainers, like Adidas signing Kanye West — the same dude who had the balls to sell A PLAIN WHITE T-SHIRT for $120 and have it sellout instantaneously — to do whatever the hell he wants with a shoe.
With every big brand chaotically battling for that spot on the throne, there are a slew of sneaker releases every week and a ton of new merchandise being thrown in our faces on a daily basis, making failure an inevitable reality; sometimes on a regular basis.
Other times, though, we get that rare opportunity where we suddenly find ourselves bidding for iconic, self-lacing shoes that we once saw in a movie starring Michael J. Fox.
Which brings us to…
The Nike Air McFlys – $10 (Kinda)
The official release of Nike’s Air McFlys, aka Nike MAGs, came yesterday (sorta) through an announcement from the company’s CEO, Mark Parker.
No, you cannot outright purchase these rare, power-lacing beauties just like the ones Marty wore in Back To The Future II, however, a total of 89 pairs will be raffled off via online draw to raise awareness for Parkinson’s disease, with each raffle ticket costing 10 bucks.
Considering there is no limit on the number of tix any one person can purchase, your chances of actually winning a pair are slightly worse than Lloyd Chrtismas’s were of bedding Mary Samsonite.
But hey, all proceeds go to The Michael J. Fox Foundation, so not all is lost.
The 89 lucky winners will be announced on Monday, October 17.
The obvious question is, would you actually wear these? It would absolutely be tempting once the shoes were in your grasp — I mean, come on, man, these things are incredible.
But the answer is an emphatic NO. You don’t even touch them. You put them up for sale online with a minimum bidding price of $50,000.
*****
Oregon Ducks Latest Football Uniforms, Vol. XXVI, Chapter IV
https://www.instagram.com/p/BLG8xteDFnc/
Oregon will be wearing its “Webfoots” uniforms for this Saturday’s game against Washington, complete with the school’s fight song on the sleeve. The only problem I’m seeing is that these unis resemble nothing in the way of Oregon, and look a hell of a lot more like West Virginia.
But hey, these were modeled after a 1912 World War I March, so there’s a ton of history behind this particular design. Because of that significant fact, right here is where I offer up the obligatory safe comment and say these unis are stunningly beautiful.
If you happen to find yourself loving the hell out of these jerseys, they can be found at Fanatics and FansEdge, among others.
*****
Antonio Brown’s Arnold Palmer Cleats
These were an awesome tribute by Steelers receiver Antonio Brown and — gasp — the NFL allowed it to happen without issue! Baby steps, but important ones, as it appears some of the people running the NFL have souls.
RIP the great Arnold Palmer.
*****
David Ortiz MLB “Hairitage” T-Shirt – $30
This is a great shirt, especially with the inclusion of Big Papi’s beloved earrings. But why ya’ gotta go and ruin it with that loud artwork on the sleeve? A little more subtlety would’ve done this shirt well.
*****
David Ortiz “Big Papi Chain” Commemorative T-Shirt – $30
On the other side of the universe, there’s, uh, this Big Papi t-shirt.
Horrendous and hideous, this is the perfect purchase for pretty much every Red Sox fan.
*****
Dooney & Bourke NY Jets Women’s Green Continental Clutch – $128
I don’t care how much your significant other loves the Jets, if you buy this for your wife or girlfriend, be proactive and start the new apartment search TODAY.
*****
The RUN DMC T-Shirt Collection – $31.99
Simply put, while the RUN DMC collection is a cool idea it only works for one city, and one city only.
Something about “RUN MIN” that juts doesn’t rolling off the tongue properly.
And RUN SAC?
That’s a whole other story entirely.
*****
Andrew Wiggins “Crazy Explosive” Primeknit Shoes – $150
Definitely not my 1st, 2nd, or 111th choice in the sneaker draft, but if you threw the same kind of laces on these — only in white rather than what we have here — it would make for a much cleaner, less disruptive look.
But still, “Crazy Explosive” is right on the money because these are an indecisive mess.
Note: The Wiggins shoe has been out for a few months, as you may have seen and promptly mocked, but Adidas won’t stop sending emails about them.
*****
Mitchell & Ness Deion Sanders 1992 Vintage Replica Jersey – $139.95
I loathed the Atlanta Falcons during the Deion days and I would still snatch up this gorgeous jersey in a second. It’s just… perfect. The Falcons should be wearing these every Sunday. And not just this design, they should all be wearing Deion jerseys.
He was that damn good, especially when Prime Time was playing against his former team.
The Pick-6 sideline taunt would be at least a 45-yard penalty and a three-game suspension in today’s NFL.
*****
Seahawks “12th Man” Limited Color Rush Jersey – $150
No. Seriously. Just, no.
*****
Texas Rangers New Era “All Flags” Fitted Cap – $15
Attention Texas Rangers fans: Get fired up for the playoffs with some next level embarrassment in the form of this atrocious hat!
Previously priced at $35.99, it’s now just $15. Mark it down another $14.50 and I’m all over this bad boy.
*****
Mitchell & Ness Eagles “Gray Margin of Victory” Vest – $87.89
If you’re looking to be incessantly mocked by your friend’s at the next big tailgate, then this vest was born for you.
Plus, it’s on sale! Wonder why.
*****
Previously: This Week In Sports Apparel: Incredibly Ugly Yeezys Stole The Show
Previously: This Week In Sports Apparel: Terrible Sneakers And Hats
For more unapologetic mockery and utter nonsense, follow Tim Ryan on Twitter and Instagram.