Fansided

NFL Playoff Fashion: Julian Edelman’s Beard Has Seized Control Of His Face

By Tim Ryan

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The NFL season is rapidly approaching its end, having left us with just four teams standing, though thankfully with no duds (seemingly) to be found.

But alas, as fan favorite Chris Berman has said roughly 463 times over the years, that’s why they play the gaaaaaaaaames.

Lest we forget, though, we’re not here to talk about the scores. We’re here to discuss who failed and who managed seize the opportunity at the postgame podium, where star players — like the always unflappable Andrew Luck — are bestowed with the honor to style and profile on the big stage like Ric Flair, inevitably setting Twitter ablaze and grabbing the attention of big brands so as to finally land that elusive endorsement gig with Napa Auto Parts.

Remember those “Know How” commercials?

Once you’ve removed the forks from your eyeballs, we can proceed.

Good? Good.

Unfortunately, as it pertains to the postgame podium, we’re still waiting for some clinically insane showman to take it to this kind of next-level intensity:

But make no mistake about it, this weekly showcase of styles includes all walks of flashy life, led by fashion-forward trendsetters such as the routinely inspiring Case Keenum, who never gave a single shit and never will give a single shit.

As we’ve witnessed over these last few years of crucial coverage, sometimes the ensemble does work:

Seriously, Bucs defensive tackle Gerald McCoy has kept things interesting all season long. If he played in New York or for the Pats, you’d be hearing his name on a regular basis.

Sadly, not everyone was born with the natural charisma of a guy like Gerald McCoy, so it’s not uncommon to see that — at times — the ensemble most certainly does NOT work.

Like that time earlier this season when Carson Palmer tried to wear a scarf and ended up looking like a dad heading to church.

The important takeaway here?

Learn how to wear a scarf before you wear a scarf.

*****MISSING IN ACTION*****

We are missing 98% of the freakin’ league at this point, making one of the NFL’s greatest weekends also feel a little bittersweet.

This deflating photo of Sad Jay Cutler aptly summarizes my tender thoughts when I realize the NFL season has but one weekend left.

And no, the Pro Bowl does not count. If you watch the Pro Bowl, you have a gambling problem.

As for those who were still hangin’ around, these are their stories…

Matt Ryan

Let’s dial it back to Week 1 for just a minute. This is what Matt Ryan surprisingly wore to the postgame podium where, as I noted, he “took over Zoolander duties in Tom Brady’s absence.”

We should’ve known right then and there where Matty was headed and who he’d be meeting with.

And oh what a show of good versus evil it shall be.

Here’s Matty following yesterday’s win over Green Bay.

via AtlantaFalcons.com

Sure, the forehead sweat is there — I’m pretty sure it will always be there — but this is the look of a man dressed for the part.

Awwwwwww sheeeeeeeeit.

All business indeed, sir.

*****

Devin McCourty

via Patriots.com

To the surprise of precisely no one, Devin McCourty owned the t-shirt game yet again, this time strolling up to the podium in a Smurfs “I’d Rather Be Chillin'” shirt.

Of course he did.

The guy simply loves football, the Mario Brothers, classic movies, and cartoons, making it harder and harder with each passing week to dislike the Patriots.

*****

Aaron Rodgers

Losing 44-21 in the NFC Championship is a pretty rough way to go out. What we have here just compounds that pain because this hat is a fail for the ages, like forcing a throw into triple coverage.

Sometimes simple is the preferred route, especially when you still have a full head of hair.

*****

Julian Edelman

via Patriots.com

Julian Edelman’s seemingly rapid transformation from overly exuberant hipster to disenchanted, jaded hipster — and possible miniature Irish hitman — has really been something to see this season.

Perhaps his energy level off the field will pick up once the Kentucky Derby rolls around?

One can only hope. I know I do.

*****

Keanu Neal

via AtlantaFalcons.com

Safety Keanu Neal in a Cassius Clay “Roots of Fight” jacket that just so happens to sport the colors of the Atlanta Falcons? Genius move.

This puppy can be all yours for $249.

*****

Logan Ryan

The Patriots DB pretty much nailed it by wearing one of the greatest throwback Astros jerseys you’ll ever see.

Not only was it a nice touch — after all, the Super Bowl is in Houston — it was a terrifying sign of confidence.

These guys expect great things to happen and know great things will happen.

Yes, the Falcons might be screwed.

*****

Ben Roethlisberger

via Steelers.com

How many times have I wished Big Ben a Happy Easter this season? Gotta be at least six or seven, and yet here we are again.

But look at him! He loves it. He can’t get enough of this ongoing “happy brunching” joke.

Although, I’m starting to wonder if there’s a very, very special Spring wedding he’s been invited to and Big Ben has in turn decided to take the suit out for a walk a few times to work out any and all possible kinks.

*****

LeGarrette Blount

Blount hasn’t been featured in this space all season long, but a sweatshirt with defensive coordinator Matt Patricia’s face serving as the Patriots logo will get you here every single time.

I need one of these immediately, if not sooner.

Notice Blount is also wearing a “Do Your Job” hat. This team 100% frightens me.

UPDATE: You can find that glorious sweatshirt right here for $44.

*****

Davante Adams

via Packers.com

Devante Adams went with the jean jacket, the camo backpack, a healthy dose of a gold, and a hat sporting his own damn initials.

Now here’s a good example of someone who’s always winning regardless of circumstances.

*****

Tom Brady

I guess Sir Thomas is saving his best for last? Because while Brady has been obscene on the field he’s been an inconsistent mess off of it, tragically tumbling off the top of Mount Fashion weeks ago.

Even when he has tried, it’s been relatively dismal, at least by the standard he’s set the past few years.

Remember this debacle?

Whether he gets his 5th ring or not, I’m gonna need official confirmation that the “sweater from mom” we see above has been sent directly through a wood chipper.

*****

Maurkice Pouncey

via Steelers.com

Steelers center Maurkice Pouncey allegedly revealed to reporters that somewhere on his chest is his Instagram password and a Madden ’17 cheat code.

*****

Jordy Nelson

https://twitter.com/packers/status/823333789195796484

The dude played with a handful of broken ribs for christ’s sake — and played well given the circumstances — so I don’t have the heart to be snarky here.

Plus, there’s nothing to mock.

Get healthy, Jordy.

*****

Arthur Blank

via AtlantaFalcons.com

Did you know? Falcons owner Arthur Blank starred in The Pink Panther as Inspector Clouseau from 1963 to 1978.

*****

Ty Montgomery

via Packers.com

It was hard to tell for sure throughout his interview, but is Ty Montgomery wearing a Rated Rookie t-shirt? If so, please knight this man.

If not for the shirt, do it for the beautifully orchestrated fake phone call.

****

Aaron Ripkowski

Would you believe me if I told you the same guy who sloppily coughed up the ball while the Packers were in the red zone yesterday also conducted an interview with grease stains on his shirt a couple weeks ago?

Oh, it’s true. It’s true.

Interestingly enough, no postgame interview with Ripowski following yesterday’s blowout can be found on the Packers official site. Hmmm…

*****

Matthew Slater

Following the Patriots win over the Steelers, special teams captain Matthew Slater briefly met with reporters before leading a moving bible study group for 90 minutes with local youths.

*****

Corey Linsley

via Packers.com

Corey Linsley isn’t here so much for fashion purposes, here’s he to provide a succinct, visual game summary. And damn, did he knock it out of the park.

To be fair, if I were him, the entire visitors locker room would’ve been on fire by the time reporters got to me.

*****

Taylor Gabriel

Falcons wide receiver Taylor Gabriel is listed at 5’8 and 165 lbs., which sounds like 65 too many.

How this guy hasn’t been broken into a billion pieces while crossing the middle boggles the mind.

We’ll go ahead and assume this photo was just a nice moment for his teenage son.

*****

Bonus Round: Tom Brady’s Giant Jacket

The beauty of watching a big game like the AFC Championship is the sideshow that takes places on Twitter.

So a simple photo of rather large jacket becomes… well, it becomes this:

Hilarious. I laughed entirely too long at this single tweet, and then this popped up in my timeline:

God bless the internet, which remains undefeated.

*****

Truly a flop for the ages. Eat your heart your out, everyone in the NBA.

This is a flop that cannot and will not be topped.

*****

So Ric Flair — who loved the Panthers, then the Niners, then back to the Panthers — now loves the Falcons?

What can I say, the man hearts winning.

Also, as evidenced by the video above, his breasts are looking quite supple these days.

Seriously though, this man is a national treasure:

*****

Clipboard Jesus! I randomly stumbled upon this tweet while doing a search and I feel like I struck oil.

It’s nice to see that the king lives on in classic style.

*****

Johnny Football took a break from “training” to serve as the unexpected good luck charm in Foxboro.

A selfless act, to say the least.

*****

This woman, who spent a good chunk of her time knocking cheeseheads off of unsuspecting Packers fans, is a devoted maniac; and frankly, one that should be widely celebrated.

*****

Previously:

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For more unapologetic honesty and thought-provoking life lessons, follow Tim Ryan on Twitter and Instagram. For a look at last season’s colorful ride at the NFL podium, each of those installments can be found here.