Oh, my god. We’re having a fire … sale!: Steve Cohen’s Mets are Tobias Fünke crying in a bathtub broken
For schadenfreude reasons, I almost thought about watching the saddest and most pathetic of press conferences, but I decided cleaning my bathroom was a better use of my time. As scrubbed the toilet, I come to see the irony of the lot in life that is Steve Cohen’s New York Mets. They used to be good; what happened? You cannot make this many GOB Bluth huge mistakes and recover.
I don’t think the following is true, but needless to say, I am concerned for Mr. Met’s well-being…
NEW YORK (AP) — New York Mets owner Steve Cohen says Mr. Met will not be fed or let out of his paddock until the team reaches the .500 mark.
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) June 28, 2023
"Food is for winners," Cohen told reporters on Wednesday. pic.twitter.com/INCpAIjQsf
For the Keith Hernandezes and Sal Licatas of the world, I almost feel bad for you. But it’s like watching Tobias Fünke trying to look for work while sitting on a public couch. When the business cards don’t work, you will never get to find out where the magic is happening. It could be across from anywhere, but you are going to need more than a Golden T necklace to fix … this!
There’s always money in the banana stand, but what happens when you are no longer into the monkey business? No touching of the Bobby Bonilla annuity at all! His bank account will grow like the interest payment on a NINJA loan. It never worked for the fine people of Sacramendi, but it might work for us! Huzzah! You sir, are a mouthful! Just gotta help Daddy get his rocks off first.
Good luck asking for all your money back from Carl Weathers when baby, you got a stew going!