What made baseball fun this week: Domingo German is perfect, Anthony Volpe is chicken parm

The Dude of the Week, man: I’m sorry I can’t be perfect like Domingo German, so I’m gonna house some chicken parm like Anthony Volpe because it tastes so good

Heading into Wednesday’s unforgettable night, that may or may not have happened, Domingo German had one Simple Plan. He’d Do Anything to go 27 up, 27 down. While I’m sorry I can’t be Perfect, German was on this one particular night. All the while, New York Yankees rookie sensation teammate Anthony Volpe is devouring more chicken parm than any human should ever consume.

I don’t know if the Yankees are good, but they sure as hell are interesting. They are probably better than any team Donnie Baseball’s sideburns played for. Nobody likes you when you’re 23. As a 30-something, I keep asking myself What’s My Age Again? All the Small Things keep adding up, just like that chicken parm does to my waistline with a side of Dude Ranch. I guess this is growing up?

It’s all about achieving goals, really, whether they be fitness ones or of any other variety. When you toe the rubber, you want to go The Distance, and for speed! German just said 27 up, 27 down is a piece of Cake. While I’m no Fashion Nugget, i will do my best to Survive the amount of chicken parm you throw my way, doing my best impersonation of Peyton Manning or Brady Quinn in that.

Life is about being closer to Manning in the NFL, Wade Boggs in MLB and Quinn … at Notre Dame…

But what about the fans??? | Oh, my god. We’re having a fire … sale! | So this is a thing now?!