Alternate universe: Scenes from Red Sox, Yankees clubhouses just don’t seem right

The scenes from the Yankees and Red Sox clubhouses this past weekend further confirm the theory of alternate universes. 

It’s August in 2023. The Red Sox have just swept the Yankees for the second time this year and sprayed beer all over their locker room. The Yankees, now just an ordinary team, are slipping out of relevance toward their first losing season in the last thirty years. They’re calling code-red team meetings in dimly lit rooms while Boston cracks open more six-packs and smacks its lips at its playoff chances (sub-17 percent, no less). Aaron Boone throws his hands in the air as if to say, “We tried.” Alex Cora does too, but more out of rage toward the poor officiating.

This is the state of the Sox-Yanks rivalry in 2023, and it’s pretty unbelievable. Almost like something out of an alternate universe, or a scene from “Freaky Friday” in which the Yankees have somehow switched spirits with the Red Sox.

After Sunday’s defeat, the Yankees now get to add an eight-game losing streak to their growing list of failures this season, right next to their 60-64 record plaque and “Worst Team in the AL East” trophy.

The Red Sox aren’t that much better at 66-58, but they have newly sworn-in New England royalty Justin Turner, who is batting .875 with a 3.014 OPS with runners on base against the Yankees this season.

In 2023, Turner and a re-energized Red Sox squad are the ones holding the brooms and the dust pans, and the Yankees are the ones tossed into trash bags and kicked to the curb.

Oh, how the turntables.

Yankees-Red Sox rivalry in 2023 has been flipped on its head

Here are some snippets from each clubhouse’s reaction to the sweep:

If the Red Sox snatch a wild card spot and eke into the postseason this year, they should send a handwritten thank you card to the Yankees. In 2023, Boston is 8-1 against New York. Against everyone else, they’re 58-57. Their vibes against the Yankees are *chef’s kiss*  immaculate.

Now, head on over to the Bronx, where a $275 million payroll has basically been given to charity. Expensive and aging stars like Giancarlo Stanton, Carlos Rodon, and Aaron Judge haven’t performed up to snuff. Hope for the future continues to dwindle as the Yankees have a below-average farm system (so much for the Baby Bombers) and no prospects in the top 75, according to MLB.com.

Boone, a popular scapegoat, put it best when he said the Red Sox “kicked our asses” this weekend. The short and succinct point of a team that has been beaten, over and over again. The sweep feels routine, expected almost, and it shouldn’t.

Maybe in a decade or less, the roles with be reversed and the personalities will return to their rightful franchises. But for 2023, this is the universe we’re living in: a Yankees fan’s cruel dystopia and a Red Sox fan’s euphoric high.