5 preposterous but entertaining Juan Soto mystery teams we’d like to see

We generally know the list of teams connected to free agent Juan Soto, who is expected to chase Shohei Ohtani's high-water mark of $700 million this winter. If we want to be charitable, the "real" contenders for the four-time All-Star are the New York Yankees, New York Mets, Los Angeles Dodgers, and Toronto Blue Jays. Many wouldn't even bother to mention the last two teams.

This probably boils down to an intra-city bidding war between the Yankees and the Mets, but it's fun to think about where Soto might go if money were no object. If his main priorities were entertaining the baseball sickos and promoting competitive parity. It's not as fun to think about Soto signing a 15-year contract with the Yankees as it is to wonder how he'd look in, like, a Rockies uniform.

So, let's put on our thinking hats and get creative. Which Soto landing spots would actually pique one's intrigue? We are going to venture off the beaten path. We'd all be morbidly curious to watch Soto hit after Shohei Ohtani in LA or Francisco Lindor in a Mets uniform, but that is all too real. Too rooted in logic and facts.

These are the best fantasy destinations. The places we'd like to see Soto for entertainment or vibe purposes. So, gear up small-time owners, break out your checkbooks, and don't tell your stakeholders — today, you're going big-game hunting!

For more news and rumors, check out MLB Insider Robert Murray’s work on The Baseball Insiders podcast, subscribe to The Moonshot, our weekly MLB newsletter, and join the discord to get the inside scoop during the MLB offseason.

5. Juan Soto on the Gritty Tigs? Detroit Tigers fans would be psyched

Once upon a time, the Detroit Tigers were a perennial contender with a front office that would actually expend money in order to compete for a World Series. Those days are but a memory, but the Gritty Tigs' exciting postseason run — their first in a decade — may have stirred a slumbering beast. The Tigers have a proven manager in A.J. Hinch, a Cy Young candidate in Tarik Skubal, a balanced and productive lineup, and enough financial flexibility to, in theory, really upgrade the roster.

Just imagine Detroit's mishmash of interchangeable parts and matchup-specific weapons anchored by the all-world offensive production of Juan Soto. This is really what the Tigers are missing — a guiding light on offense, that slugging extraordinaire who can consistently drive in runs when the lesser pieces struggle.

Soto would help return the Tigers to perennial contention while establishing the face of Detroit baseball, maybe Detroit sports as a whole, for the next decade-plus. There wasn't a more entertaining team down the stretch of last season. The Tigers are such a savvy, hard-nosed bunch, and seeing their efforts rewarded with an influx of major star talent would be awesome.

This will never, ever happen with that ownership group, in that market, but Soto on the Tigers is a gem of a concept.

4. Juan Soto and Bobby Witt Jr. can battle in out for future MVP awards on the Kansas City Royals

The Kansas City Royals actually move some cash last offseason and went from the bottom of the standings to the playoffs. That is a testament to what all small-market teams can accomplish with a little gumption. Obviously the Royals aren't to the point of ponying up $700 million to acquire Juan Soto, but in the realm of theory, it's a fascinating landing spot.

Kansas City has some real gas on the pitching staff these days, but the offense could use a boost beyond the core of Bobby Witt Jr., Salvy Perez, and Vinne Pasquantino. Adding Soto immediately elevates the entire unit, making the Royals an especially difficult team to pitch around. Both Witt and Soto are high-contact fiends who can draw walks and work a count. Perez and Pasquantino can rake it. It's an entertaining bunch.

A tough ALDS loss to the Yankees was a rain on the Royals' season-long parade. This team has the feel of a sustainable winner that'll stick around for a while. Witt is expected to finish second in MVP voting, with Soto likely in third place. Baseball is always a collective sport, but planting two perennial MVP candidates in the heart of your lineup is generally a foolproof path to competitiveness.

Kansas City sports fans are a bit spoiled with the whole Chiefs situation, but Soto in a Royals uniform would be quite a scene.

3. Juan Soto and Paul Skenes can save the Pittsburgh Pirates from purgatory

The Pittsburgh Pirates are home to arguably the most electric single talent in baseball with Paul Skenes. The rookie ace put up absurd numbers in his first big-league campaign, posting a 1.96 ERA and 0.95 WHIP across 23 starts. That is nutty stuff. Skenes alone puts Pittsburgh on the map, but without serious progress on offense, the Pirates are doomed to an unfortunate stasis.

Here's the rub. The Pirates are essentially operating against the clock with Skenes, who will never get the extension he deserves from a cheap Pittsburgh front office. If the Pirates can't pour resources into boosting the National League's least threatening offense in the meantime, there won't be much to talk about. Skene will keep runs off the board, but Pittsburgh's offense won't give him the run support necessary to consistently stack wins. Plus, Skenes can only pitch once every fifth day.

Now, imagine if none of that was a concern. If Pittsburgh had the gumption to pay Juan Soto for 10-15 years and extend Skenes down the line. It's an electrifying thought, and it would probably push the Pirates to the top of an exceedingly winnable NL Central. With the Brewers running up against their own small-market limitations, the Cubs locked in perennial mediocirity, and the Cardinals in open tank mode, the pathway is clear for Pittsburgh. A committed run at Juan Soto could plant Pittsburgh in the NL contenders circle for years to come. Unfortunately, it'll never happen as long as Robert Nutting owns the team.

2. Juan Soto could bring another ring to the Chicago Cubs without the 100-year wait

The Chicago Cubs have won 83 games in back-to-back seasons, each with a different manager. Jed Hoyer handed Craig Counsell the largest managerial contract in MLB history to guide the Cubs forward, but that financial ambition has not extended to the actual roster.

Chicago isn't necessarily a cheap team, but the Cubs sure don't spend on the same level as other marquee franchises in top media markets. The Windy City is a huge sports haven and the Cubs drive a ton of revenue, but Chicago has a maddening habit of cutting corners when it comes to team-building. Adding Juan Soto would obviously buck that trend, and it would force us to start taking the Cubs seriously.

While the bullpen needs works, the Cubs have an excellent rotation and a few real pieces on offense. Cody Bellinger has better days ahead, Isaac Paredes should remember how to swing eventually, and Pete Crow-Armstrong's arc is pointed 90 degrees up at the ceiling. With Soto, the Cubs would finally have that long-missing slugger in the heart of their lineup. A tide to raise all boats.

It's a bit silly that we are discussing the prospect of Juan Soto going to the Cubs in purely hypothetical terms — that front office should be driving up the bill as we speak — but this is the world we live in. A man can dream.

1. Juan Soto on the Boston Red Sox stokes the MLB's greatest rivalry

Okay, this is cheating, as the Boston Red Sox are actually connected to Juan Soto in free agency rumors. That said... we can be real. The Red Sox are never, in a million years, going to pay Soto enough to leave New York. We've seen this song and dance with Boston before. The Red Sox always float the idea of courting top-shelf talent before settling for middle-tier options.

Soto in Boston is easily the best possible outcome from an entertainment standpoint. Boston fans aren't lacking for quality teams to cheer for, but there is something special about that Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. Soto defecting to the other side would add a jolt of electricity to the MLB's most divisive and contentious division matchup. It's good for the sport, it's good TV, and yeah, it's great for Boston.

The Red Sox are another historically accomplished franchise hamstrung by an uncommitted ownership group. It's embarrassing that we can't earnestly discuss the Red Sox going after a star of Soto's magnitude, but Boston's mere mention on the periphery of various reports is at least a step in the right direction. Of course the Red Sox would love to complicate the Yankees' offseason plans on some level.

This move is exciting on a meat-and-potatoes level, too. A top of the lineup that includes Juan Soto, Jarren Durran, and Rafael Devers can stack up with any group in the league.