Assembling a Super Bowl-worthy NFL team from current MLB players

Look, the Super Bowl LIX matchup between the Chiefs and Eagles isn't what most fans wanted. Yes, both teams are great teams who earned their spots (or at least the refs think so) and it should be a good game. Still, it would be nice to see some new blood in the Super Bowl, and instead we got yet another Patrick Mahomes extravaganza. Naturally, that got us thinking about baseball (stick with me here).

What would a more fun Super Bowl look like? The Buffalo Bills probably (definitely) deserved to win against Kansas City, and it would have been neat to see the Detroit Lions shed decades of ineptitude and make an appearance.

However, what would be even more fun is if we built a football team out of current MLB players that could have been a real Super Bowl contender in an alternate universe.

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Here is the definitive best football team that can be made out of current MLB players

Is there any science to these choices? Absolutely not. We are talking about turning baseball players into football players for funsies here. However, there is at least some thought process to these selections — and if nothing else, thinking about these guys playing football would be pure comedy and very entertaining. Not every spot on the roster is going to be represented here, but you will get the general idea pretty quickly.

QB: Zack Wheeler

For our squad here, I was looking for a guy that has an absolute cannon of an arm for our downfield threats (more on them in a minute) with the ability to also command his throws. He has to have some height to more easily throw over the defenders up front and has demonstrated the ability to stay healthy. Despite playing for a truly horrid franchise, Wheeler is my guy here: 6-foot-4 with a strong build, generally a lock to throw around 200 innings a year, and he throws a mid-90s fastball. Not the most mobile of QB choices, but we can't have everything we want.

RB: Bobby Witt Jr.

There is some merit to finding a Derrick Henry-type here as I like bruisers that make defensive lines regret their life choices by the third quarter. However, we are going with Bobby Witt Jr. for this slot. He has the speed to make plays in open space, and the fact that he plays shortstop means we can probably get him involved in the short passing game. It doesn't hurt that he has the strength and athleticism to make a cut to get through a seam if need be. Having Witt Jr. also is a hedge against any "Kansas City must be represented in the Super Bowl" hijinks from the league.

WR: Elly De La Cruz

De La Cruz is our deep threat on this roster. Elly has top-tier sprint speed that should help create separation and opportunities down the field, but he is also 6-foot-5 so he should be able to go up and get balls thrown in traffic if the need arises. He doesn't have the beefiest frame even for a wide receiver, but having a dynamic playmaker on the outside should open things up in the middle for others. Elly is also a strong choice to return kicks as well, although our running back would be equally exciting on that front.

WR: Jarren Duran

Duran is going to be our guy in the slot. If he breaks a tackle, he has the speed to take it to the house, but he has a slightly more compact frame than Elly and he should be able battle for balls thrown over the middle as a result. It doesn't hurt that he is a Gold Glove-caliber outfield defender which should, in theory, mean that he would be pretty sure-handed. Also, I just want him to dance like this in the end zone.

TE: Aaron Judge

We have loads of speed in our receiving corps, but sometimes were are going to need extra help on a block or to get a short completion to get a first down. Witt Jr. is going to help out of the backfield with that to a degree, but having the 6-foot-7 Judge at tight end is going to create some matchup nightmares. He is a good fielder (unless it is in the playoffs, of course) and moves well despite his size. Also, good luck trying to tackle him.

LT: Salvador Perez

We didn't do an entire offensive line here, but rest assured that most of them would be catchers or hitters that have chosen the Rowdy Tellez school of physical fitness. We have to protect Wheeler's blind side, so I went with size and experience at the left tackle spot with Perez. He might not have a lot of years left as a professional athlete at 34, but the guy will show up to play every day and should keep Wheeler safe from taking too much damage.

RT: William Contreras

Right tackle also goes to another catcher, and we went with Brewers backstop William Contreras here. I like catchers with a bit of an edge and Contreras has that in spades. Not ideal from a size perspective at 5-foot-11 and 205 pounds, so that forces him over to right tackle. However, I could see Contreras getting under guys pads and taking them unexpectedly for a ride when needed.

DE: Tommy Pham

Look, at defensive end, I am looking for some killer instinct — and. yes, perhaps a dash of psychosis. If Max Scherzer was a bit younger, I would consider him for the other side of the line here. However, Pham is a pretty easy choice. Sure, he is a heavy favorite to get the most penalty yards on the team and there is a good chance he is going to start a fight in the locker room. However, Pham is going to be hunting down the QB like his life depends on it. For this spot, we love it.

DT: Rafael Devers

It is tempting to go with more catchers or ornery 1B/DH types up front, but I like a little athleticism to help in a pinch. Jose Ramirez is a strong consideration here, but he is a little undersized at the end ofd the day. Devers has a bigger frame to hold up in the running game, plus top tier game awareness, and I could see him knocking down some passes at the line.

CB: Ronald Acuna Jr.

At corner, you want athleticism and speed, but you also want a guy that embraces being an absolute menace (and can back it up with their play). A guy that can get under receivers' skin and who is fueled by the hatred of others. That is Ronald Acuna Jr. to the letter: He can match up with anyone with his speed, is a mortal lock to do everything in his power to get in players' heads, and has the strength and athleticism to compete for balls in the air.

S: Brenton Doyle

At safety, I'm looking for a ball hawk and a guy that plays with a lot of energy; any guy that is an elite defender in the outfield with real speed and knows how to get to the ball quickly was in consideration. Ultimately, I landed on the Rockies' Brenton Doyle, who may just be the best defender in baseball period. He has some size at 6-foot-4 and 220 pounds to make a tackle if need be in addition to those elite ball skills.

K: Xander Bogaerts

Look, at some point Bogaerts is going to have to do something to earn that massive contract he got from the Padres, and he certainly hasn't done that to this point on the baseball field. More seriously, Bogaerts loves soccer and plays it frequently, so that puts him miles ahead of 99.9 percent of baseball players. We aren't looking for a guy that is going to be hitting 60-yarders on the regular, but instead a guy that should at least make the kicks he is supposed to and has actually kicked a ball before.

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