Well, I don’t mean “Can Caitlin Clark play basketball in general?” I mean can Caitlin Clark, in her current physical state, play in the Indiana Fever’s game tonight against one of the teams that don’t have Caitlin Clark on it. You know, sort of how you hang a beautiful Donnie Darko poster on a wall, and it’s clearly the functional centerpiece, but you can still paint the wall behind it. The Indiana Fever are the important thing, but you can’t have that without a wall.
I have to imagine there are at least a few people who genuinely feel that way. Or something akin to it. Something more direct, less weird in some ways, but more weird in other ones that are probably more important.
But we have to know, is Caitlin Clark playing tonight against the Dallas Wings and Rookie of the Year frontrunner Paige Bueckers? Well, according to the latest information we have at 9:30 a.m. EDT August 1, the answer is…
No! Caitlin Clark will not play tonight.
In fact, she’s not estimated to return until August 12. That is a date in the future instead of tonight, which is tough.
What are we meant to do in a present without Caitlin Clark?
There are all sorts of pleasant activities one can do that don’t involve watching, lauding, or thinking about Caitlin Clark. I have a few to list, but let your brain come up with something. And for god’s sake don’t ask ChatGPT.
It’s a little late in the season to start gardening, but maybe look into adding a little more greenery to your immediate surroundings.
Have you tried making mocktails? There are very tasty liquor replacements that just make awesome drinks without any of the juice that makes you stupid. Think about it.
Legal things! I recommend doing something that’s legal. If you get caught doing something illegal, you might get in trouble.
Sandwiches! Hot sandwiches. Cold Sandwiches. The same sandwich except one half was in the panini press while the other was in the freezer.
Better yourself as a person! Learn something new! Go outside! Create! Think! All that lame shit!
Rank hats.