Former 1995 Seattle Mariners teammates Ken Griffey Jr. and Randy Johnson have ironically both taken up professional photography in their retirement years. Johnson, with a penchant for concert photography (from Anthrax to Elton John), had his own exhibition at the Fenimore Art Museum in Cooperstown and helped create baseball cards (featuring his own photography) for 2023 Bowman's Best. Needless to say, he's doing perfectly well for himself.
Griffey Jr., on the other hand, tends to get credentialed in the sports space a bit more often, from the sidelines of Cardinals vs. Cowboys to Lionel Messi on the pitch. In this world, we imagine what it would've been like for Johnson to learn he'd been edged out for a coveted Masters credential spot, where Griffey will be plying his wares this weekend.
An imagined phone call where Randy Johnson learns he lost out on Masters gig to Mariners teammate Ken Griffey Jr.
"Yello, Randy Johnson here. You show me the bird, I knock it down. To whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?"
"Well, Augusta, Georgia! Beautiful place. Gets a little hot down there. Really puts some condensation under the ol' quail tickler. What can I do you for?"
"Ahh ... I ... I see. Well, that's a shame, especially considering I didn't even apply. Doesn't feel good to hear you didn't get something you didn't even know about. But I do appreciate you folks at the Masters reaching out to me proactively to inform me, something I'm not exactly sure why you did, but I appreciate it just the same. Regardless, no skin off my upper lip! No shame in losing out to a professional sports photographer you've never met before with decades of experience. I can deal with that emotionall - I'm sorry, what's that?"
(sound of thermodynamic drinking bird toy exploding after being squeezed too hard)
"Griffey, huh? Went with Griffey again. I see ... I see. He usually gets what he wants! He is The Kid, after all. No, I'm not bitter. I'm not that bitter. I know the Hall of Fame hierarchy. Fergie Jenkins wants my table at the Otesaga, he's sh*t out of luck, but Cal Ripken Jr. wants my parking spot, and I have to drive three towns over."
"Can you just do me a favor? Can you ask him exactly when he got into photography? No, no, no big deal, I'm just a little curious. Registered my trademark in 2010, just after retirement. Griff was still playing that season. Don't ... remember him mentioning a love of still photography when we shared a clubhouse together for 10 years. Or nature. Or the band Anthrax. Could I have missed that? Nah. I couldn't've. I didn't miss that."
"So, yeah, just see what he says, give me a call, and let me know. Yeah, this is the best number to reach me. But if you don't like it, I can get another one. Maybe something like ... I don't know, 24? Maybe you like that number better? Hey, would it help if, when you called me back, I was wearing a backwards hat like an idiot?"
"You're right. You're right, that was out of line. I'm sorry about that. And I will do better ... photography. I will do better photography than Ken Griffey Jr. and I always have. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an exhibition to curate. It's a bunch of action photos of lumpy, misshapen, awkward giraffes trying to lope through open spaces on the Sahara, and -- oh my gosh, no, sorry, I'm mistaken, these are action shots of 2010 Ken Griffey Jr. trying to sprint to first base. Easy mistake to make."