Aaron Rodgers’ 4 snaps with the Jets netted him a hilariously small performance bonus

Aaron Rodgers' arrival in New York almost a year ago was met with jubilation from a fanbase that is among the most tortured in sports. The Jets haven't had an elite quarterback since Rodgers' former Packers teammate Brett Favre played for Gang Green back in 2008 (apologies to Mark Sanchez and Geno Smith), so it's understandable that the trade for Rodgers was treated as a sign that things were finally looking up for the Jets and their fans after years of pain.

We all know how things turned out. Rodgers tore his Achilles just four snaps into his Jets career, immediately snuffing out any sense of hope that even the most pessimistic of Jets fans had allowed themselves to feel. Predictably, the Jets offense was a mess for the rest of the season, cycling between the uninspiring quarterback trio of Zach Wilson, Tim Boyle, and Trevor Siemian on the way to a 7-10 record.

Rodgers is healthy and ready to roll in 2024, and after a slew of offseason moves that included signing left tackle Tyron Smith and wide receiver Mike Williams, and trading for Eagles edge rusher Haason Reddick, there's once again optimism that things could be looking up in MetLife Stadium this fall.

The fact that Rodgers seems to be recovered from his Achilles injury and Jets fans are finally, if not happy, then open to the possibility of happiness again, makes us feel OK about laughing at the Rodgers-related story that came out today.

Aaron Rodgers' performance-based pay from the 2023 season is ridiculously miniscule

The fact that Rodgers made over $36 million for just four snaps of work created the perfect situation for his pathetic payout. Contrast that with 49ers quarterback Brock Purdy, who made only $870,000 in salary but took home just under an additional $740,000 in performance-based pay, or Rodgers' new teammate John Simpson, who led the league with $974,000 in performance-based pay to nearly double his $1.01 million salary.

What can Rodgers get with his $81? Going to a Jets game is out of the question, as a single ticket and parking alone would easily run him over $100. He could buy his own replica jersey off of nflshop.com, as the $100 MSRP has been marked down at the time of this writing to $47. If he misses Green Bay, he could also get an Original Cheesehead off of packersproshop.com for another $25 to complete the ensemble.

If Rodgers wanted to pursue his non-football passions, he'd have an even harder time stretching his $81. A quick search online turned up zero ayahuasca retreats for cheaper than $200, so that's out. Rodgers would face the same problem if he wanted to go on another darkness retreat, which goes for about $250 a night.

It's unknown if Rodgers has any hard feelings towards Robert F. Kennedy Jr. after he was passed over as the independent presidential candidate's running mate, but if he still supports RFK Jr.'s bid for the White House, he can get a flag, a lawn sign, a bumper sticker, and five buttons for $77 off of the official campaign website.

Rodgers has made well over $300 million in salary during his 19-year NFL career, and he stands to make another $38 million this upcoming season, so even if he can no longer Discount Double Check and get the Rodgers Rate from State Farm after his 12-year endorsement relationship ended last year, he'll still be OK. As for Jets fans, history has taught us that things rarely work out for them, but you never know, maybe this will be their year.