Death, taxes and Jesse Chavez: Guess who's back in Atlanta, Braves Country?

Not since the 1998 NFC Championship has Minnesota suffered a loss this bad to an Atlanta team.

Jesse Chavez, Atlanta Braves
Jesse Chavez, Atlanta Braves / Matthew Grimes Jr./Atlanta Braves/GettyImages

Never made it as a White Sock. I couldn't cut it as a poor Twin dealing. Tired of livin' like a blind man. I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling. And this is how you remind me. This is how you remind me of what I really am. This is how you remind me of what I really am. Jesse Chavez, you are a relief pitcher for the Atlanta Braves. Welcome back home, brother. I can't believe you nearly signed with Minnesota.

It's not like you to say sorry. We all knew you were waiting on a different story. With an opportunity to pitch even deeper into his early 40s, why would he want to go anywhere else? Chavez has spent the better part of the last three seasons in Atlanta. In between, he's been on both Chicago teams, one of the Los Angeles teams and nearly a team in the Twin Cities. I am sure you are as confused as I am.

Over the weekend, we got some bad intel that the recently released relief pitcher formerly of the Chicago White Sox was going to play for the Minnesota Twins. I was skeptical of the move, since I didn't see any major reporter back this up. Then again, I didn't see anyone refute it. Chavez may not move the needle, but when your team has championship aspirations like Atlanta, you know the drill.

After seeing Kirby Smart's team have a weekend from hell, this was a pleasant surprise over on the X.

Here is more proof why Braves Country hasn't trusted anything to do with the Twins since 1991.

"...There's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 4–0 ballgame."

Jesse Chavez returns to Atlanta Braves, been far away for far too long

I have no earthly idea what kind of impact Chavez will have with the Braves this season other than it will be an impactful one. Every little thing he does is magic. Like Sting, he is a hero of mine. More importantly, Chavez has a far better chance of capturing another World Series ring with Atlanta than he did with either Chicago or Minnesota. Of course, he will have to stay with the team throughout...

To date, Chavez has pitched in games that count for nine different teams over a 16-year big-league career. He has pitched in over 100 games with the Braves and the Oakland Athletics, and nearly 100 with the reigning World Series champion Texas Rangers. An outside of a semi-one-year run with the Los Angeles Dodgers, Chavez has been on eight of these big-league rosters for at least two years.

The math checks out, mostly because I did the math before I had even a drop of java, so you're going to have to trust me. Is Chavez past his prime or does he only get better with age? It really doesn't matter. When he has pitched for the Braves over the better part of the last three years, he has pitched well enough for me to like him, enough to the point to where he needs a statue over in The Battery.

While MLB buries its biggest story of the week until after five o'clock on Friday, the Braves do it first thing Monday morning like the well-run organization Atlanta is. Welcome back home, living legend.

Next. Top 25 MLB pitching seasons of all time. Top 25 MLB pitching seasons of all time. dark