The Kentucky Derby races away today and features the greatest hats known to the earth, including this gargantuan monstrosity.
The Kentucky Derby can represent a wide range of things for different people.
If you are a typical southern dandy, it means day-drinking with a mint julip.
If you are Wes Welker, it means taking molly, passing out Franklins and watching horses run in a circle.
Wes Welker just handed everyone $100. pic.twitter.com/mtU9eOMonx
— Jarf Novii (@Jeff_Novak) May 3, 2014
But for many people, the Kentucky Derby is about putting the most ridiculous thing possible on your head and calling it a hat. That is what this man has done in placing a carousel on top of his crown.
"Derby hat of the year? #KYDerbyhttps://t.co/QWMmFaTt6n— NBCSN (@NBCSN) May 2, 2015"
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Is that man an android? Is anyone certain that that carousel is not a windup for his face? That smile looks so mechanical. His mouth just opens up like a garage door. He is standing next to a metal horse; you never see his eyes. Is this a sci-fi Ichabod Crane?
No – that’s silly. Ichabod Crane never wore seersucker.
Obviously this is the Derby hat of the year, and this is clearly a candidate for the greatest Derby hat of all time. Another strong candidate would be a woman who decided to throw peacock shrapnel on top of her head.
However, I think that the flowery metal carousel hat is the winner. Hopefully he spent a lot of time in his garage constructing that monstrosity. And Hopefully it will be worth it if after a long day at the track his neck is at a right angle.
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- Who won the Belmont Stakes? Full results and finishing order
- Belmont Stakes purse and payout: Full prize money breakdown
- Belmont Stakes 2023 horses: Full list, post positions, odds
- Belmont Stakes 2023 post time: Date, time, location and how to watch