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Opening Day has returned, and that means it’s once again time to navigate the unique challenges of Putting an Overwhelmingly Large and Sloppy Food Item on Your Tightly Constricted Lap While Game Action is Unfolding (And You’re Also Maybe Trying to Use the Scorecard With Sauce Hands). In the northeast, the addition of “wearing gloves” levels up the difficulty.
If you’re feeling adventurous this March, MLB stadiums have delivered, providing plenty of greasy innovations on age-old forms of ballpark food. Consider this food preview a checklist for those who want to undertake the ultimate culinary road trip, and are also diehard fans of Airplane Nausea. Which stadiums will host the World Series this fall? And, more importantly, which sauce-covered food mountains will be available April all the way through November?
Best AL East menu items for Opening Day
Red Sox
The Cowboy Up! Burger: Any "Wolverine Ground Beef" patty covered in brisket and barbecue sauce named after Kevin Millar is a-ok in my book. Other, similar options Boston should explore include Manny Ramirez's Wall-Banging Fries, Big Papi's Big Potato, and Mike Timlin's Steak Au Poivre.
Yankees
Brooklyn Dumpling Shop’s Buffalo Chicken Dumplings. Also available in Wagyu and Kung Pao Chicken, I can’t think of a harder-to-balance way to eat the pain of watching a Gerrit Cole-less rotation away. This might hinge on the sauce accompaniment for me, but the first time I head to River Ave. and 161st this April, this is what I’m sprinting for. Just know that I say this as someone who regularly purchases Yankee Stadium’s 7-out-of-10 sushi, and also misses Shea Stadium’s 9-out-of-10 sushi tremendously.
Orioles
While it’s tempting to go with the gloppy Warehouse Burger, topped with onion strings and something called Whistle Sauce, which I assume is a lost Ying Yang Twins EP, I’ll choose the Chessie, a “footlong Chesapeake sausage” covered in crab dip and sweet corn. Is a “Chesapeake sausage” something I should already be familiar with? A sausage pulled directly from the bay/a seagull’s maw?
Best AL Central menu items for Opening Day
Royals
The Z-Man Sandwich. Every baseball city in America should find a way to get their most famed culinary creation inside the ballpark gates, and also, every baseball city in America should have a sandwich as good as the Z-Man from Joe’s Kansas City BBQ. Originating at a converted gas station, the Z-Man features brisket topped with provolone, sauce, and onion rings. Don’t be shocked if Vinnie Pasquantino takes the field with one hastily tucked in his back pocket.
Best AL West menu items on Opening Day
Astros
The Daddy Mac Dog, topped with brisket, mac & cheese, barbecue sauce, and “crispy dill pickle”. Somehow, the only confusing part of this dish is why the pickle has to be crispy. Can’t we save the calories, and just slop on a damp dill? Or are the Astros that focused on differentiating themselves from Chicago? We know it can be tough, given the Cubs have both Kyle Tucker and Ryan Pressly on the roster now.
Mariners
Ichi Wings. Available in Section 105, these are the exact recipe of the wings Ichiro once commissioned inside the Mariners' clubhouse, featuring a teriyaki and sesame glaze. And, for an extra $2, they can be served with Ichiro's exact preferred clubhouse towel consistency: Damp!
Best NL East menu items on Opening Day
Nationals
Nat’s Dog. You’ll find this in Section 105, and it makes the list because it’s covered in chili and something called “zesty Mambo slaw,” which I’m having a tough time believing is not a euphemism my dad used for marijuana.
Mets
The Fiesta Burger, which is only available in April and May, so you know what that means: buy 12 when you go and flash freeze them. It’s a “taco-spiced burger patty” covered in crema, spicy guacamole, and a pile of tortilla chips that’ll make you say, “Yeah, this money might’ve been better spent on retaining Jose Iglesias.”
Phillies
S’Mores Quesadilla. Mini marshmallows, Nutella, graham cracker crumble and chocolate drizzle in a … oh, just a regular flour tortilla, got it. No, no, all good, was expecting some sort of sweet variation (maybe a Frosted Mini Wheat Rice?), but a normal tortilla works, too. The price point - $11.49 - is probably four or five dollars too tempting here. Very dangerous.
Honorable mention to Kyle’s Cutlets, a burrata-covered chicken sandwich drizzled in hot honey. A portion of the proceeds goes to Schwarber's Neighborhood Heroes, and the entirety of the sandwich goes to My Gullet.
Marlins
The Parrillada Board, a “display ofgrilled steak, chicken breast and sausage, plated up with smashed potatoes, roasted vegetables, chimichurri verde, chimichurri rojo, and cilantro sauce.” Last place in the NL East, but not culinarily (though I’m assuming they’ll trade this in May for a lefty reliever and three half-bagels).
Best NL Central menu items on Opening Day
Cubs
Kimchi Burger. This is a brand-new plant-based patty option available behind Section 117 at Wrigley, featuring house-made kimchi, hoisin aioli and broccoli slaw on top. Pairs perfectly with the cheapest, thinnest beer you’ve ever tasted (that also costs $13).
Pirates
The Polish Cannonball, which the Pirates are telling us consists of egg noodles, kielbasa, cabbage, bacon, and cheddar cheese, served with a side of herb crema dip. Of course, the photo evidence they’ve provided just shows three deep fried generic spheres. The only way to learn for sure what’s in there is by taking a daring bite. In order to recoup Bob Nutting’s eventual expenditure on a Paul Skenes contract extension, an order of Polish Cannonballs costs $4,000.
Brewers
Unorthodox, but I want to give the Brewers credit here for their minor-league affiliate, the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers, selling chocolate-dusted JACKSON CHURROS. If only they came with a side of reliable playoff starting pitching.
Best NL West menu items on Opening Day
Dodgers
The Chicken Katsu Club, a crispy sandwich topped with kewpie mayo, avocado, arugula, tomatoes, and smoky applewood bacon, available near Section 8 at Delicious Hospitality. Borderline healthy? Probably the easiest item we’ve listed here to eat, given the tenacity of the katsu.
Diamondbacks
The Sonoran Dog, a Nathan’s hot dog nestled in a toasted bun and covered in ranch beans, smoked bacon, and Pico de Gallo, along with mustard and mayo drizzle. If this was the Nathan’s dog that Joey Chestnut was required to guzzle in the annual July 4th contest, I’m betting he’d … still somehow swallow 63 of them, that guy’s a maniac.
Giants
Popcorn Bat. It’s a plastic bat filled to the brim with popcorn. Also happened to be my nickname on the varsity baseball team (other oft-used options included “Tortoise,” “Dumb Shoes” and “Terrible”).
Rockies
Dessert Nachos. Fried (and cinnamon’d) flour tortillas covered in powdered sugar, caramel drizzle, and (purportedly) fresh berries. It’s very “Rockies,” though, that A. I’m not exactly blown away by even the creativity of their best item here, and B. I don’t see the berries in the photo provided.
2024 menu items we hope will return this season
White Sox
Campfire Milkshake. You can find this gooey monstrosity at the Vizzy View Bar behind Section 157. A 15-dollar, 16-ounce shake topped with graham cracker, marshmallow and chocolate pieces (with chocolate drizzle dribbling down the rim), it’s a great way to get through a rebuild (and repurpose your season ticket money on dental work).
Guardians
The Knuckleball. Hopefully, the Guardians decide to bring back this 2024 playoff addition for Opening Day. Described lovingly as a “meatball muffin,” it’s a house-made ball in a puff pastry, topped with marinara, parm and pesto. That’s a sauce color combination that I’d rather eat than see.
Blue Jays
Hot Maple and Bacon Hot Dog. Available at Schneider’s Porch in right field, this footlong dog covered in an avalanche of bacon chunks debuted last year. It feels safe to assume Hot Maple is the trendy Canuck version of Hot Honey, coming to a faux-hipster dive bar near you.
Exceptions to consider
Rays
Tampa Bay likely won’t be able to get too ostentatiously creative this year; the Rays are sharing the Yankees’ spring training facility at George M. Steinbrenner Field after Tropicana Field was damaged almost beyond repair by Hurricane Milton. Watch this space for when the Rays move to Nashville in 2026 and get really wild with their hot chicken options — perhaps a tater tot scramble? I’m not an “idea man,” myself.
Athletics
How will the A’s treat their temporary stay in Sacramento, culinarily? They have yet to announce how they’ll be lighting the beam atop Sutter Health Park’s ovens. They’d better hurry up, though; those 12,000 patrons need to eat!