Ranking 10 most likely Juan Soto destinations by entertainment factor

Don't look now, but the MLB season is about to enter its homestretch. It's been another entertaining year on the diamond, from the highs (Aaron Judge's pursuit of 60 home runs and Elly De La Cruz's quest to create the 30-80 club) to the lows (basically everything the White Sox have done). The playoff races are a mess, with no teams truly separating themselves at the top of the standings, and even fewer playing themselves out of possible Wild Card contention.

The next month and a half will be riveting entertainment, but it's never too early to begin thinking about Hot Stove season.

Fans were spoiled this past winter by the minute-to-minute drama of Shohei Ohtani's free agency, and though nothing will likely compare to the internet trying to get the scoop on Shohei by tracking his plane and checking Toronto restaurant reservations, getting to see Juan Soto's free agency play out will be a more-than-adequate consolation prize.

The 25-year-old Dominican slugger has been everything the Yankees could have hoped for and more when GM Brian Cashman acquired him from the Padres this past offseason. Yankees fans have embraced Soto, and in turn, Soto has seemed to love playing in the Bronx. That hasn't precluded him from keeping his options open though, a fact which must gnaw at the back of Yankees fans' minds even as they try to enjoy the pursuit of the franchise's 28th World Series title.

Where will Soto end up? With Scott Boras as his agent, almost certainly the place that offers the most money, but you never know. Instead of trying to handicap the race for the patient left-handed hitter's services as Jon Heyman did, we've decided instead to focus on what would be the most entertaining outcomes of the Juan Soto Sweepstakes. From worst to first, here's our list.

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10. Toronto Blue Jays

There's some thought that the Blue Jays will throw the kitchen sink at Soto after striking out on Ohtani, but I can't see the logic in that. Toronto has been an abject disaster this season. Vladimir Guerrero Jr.'s name has been in more trade rumors than anyone this side of Garrett Crochet, and Bo Bichette's future north of the border doesn't seem secure, either.

The Blue Jays were supposed to be serious contenders with their crop of legacy kids, but that hasn't materialized in the grueling A.L. East. Would Soto help Toronto? Of course. But this is a franchise that doesn't seem to have a firm plan in place for the future. Of any team that might be in on Soto this offseason, Toronto is the least entertaining option.

9. San Francisco Giants

Do you know which team has won the most World Series tiles since 2010? We're in the Giants section, so if you missed this one, then Sarah Langs doesn't have to worry about you taking her job any time soon.

It's wild to think that no team has been as successful as the Giants in the past decade and a half, yet nobody ever thinks of them as a powerhouse. Sure, they've only made the playoffs once in the past eight years, but that's a short period of time when one considers that big market teams like the Mets haven't won the World Series in 38 years.

The Giants aren't far off from being contenders, especially if Blake Snell stays and continues his recent dominant ways. Snell had an awful start to the season after signing late, but has given up a total of five runs in his last seven starts. Matt Chapman has also been a smart signing, and he has another year on his deal before he can opt out. With Logan Webb also looking like his former Cy Young-winning self as well, adding Soto would allow the Giants to put up a real fight against the Dodgers, Padres, and Diamondbacks.

Giants fans have more than a passing familiarity with cheering for a power-hitting lefty that draws a lot of walks. Just as Barry Bonds inspired legions of fans to bring their boats to McCovey Cove, so too could Soto.

8. Philadelphia Phillies

The Phillies belong on this list for two reasons. First off, they're already really good and would be legitimate World Series favorites with Soto, and secondly, the trio of Soto, Bryce Harper and Kyle Schwarber would be the best triumvirate of left-handed power hitters assembled on one team ... maybe ever? Roger Maris, Mickey Mantle and Yogi Berra combined for 137 homers in 1961, but Maris and Mantle (who hit 43 of his 54 homers that year from the left side of the plate) did most of the heavy lifting.

From a Phillies perspective, signing Soto would be worth it just to see the Braves and Mets panic-spend on every lefty arm that hits the market.

The Phillies already have the best staff in the majors and a deep, quality lineup. Adding an MVP-caliber player for the crazies at Citizens Bank Park to embrace would be an incredible move.

Also, just imagine all of the Juan Soto Philadelphia content we could get. Soto running the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art like Rocky. Soto sampling every cheesesteak in town. Soto getting mixed up in Always Sunny hijinks with the gang. Personally, I can picture him hanging with Charlie and Frank, but I'd be willing to give Dennis, Dee, and Mac a shot.

7. Washington Nationals

Soto could return to the place where he began his career, with one caveat ... would the Nationals be willing to spend the money it takes to get him back? Washington ranks 24th in payroll, behind every other team on this list, but it wasn't so long ago that they consistently ranked in the top half or even the top 10 of the league.

Trading Soto in the first place is what set Washington on its current rebuilding course, but the team is ahead of schedule, thanks in large part to the haul they received from the Padres for Soto back in 2022. Top-ranked organizational prospect James Wood has looked like the real deal since getting called up at the beginning of July. CJ Abrams made his first All-Star team this year, and he too looks like a franchise cornerstone. MacKenzie Gore has been a solid back of the rotation starter.

Bringing Soto back would signal that the Nats are ready to take the next step back to contender status, and it would further muddy an already difficult N.L. East that features the Phillies, Braves, and Mets. This would actually be pretty fun.

6. Los Angeles Dodgers

We've learned by now to never count the Dodgers and their endless reservoir of cash out, especially when Soto himself has expressed a desire to one day play with Ohtani. Until further notice, the Dodgers are the favorite for any big-name free agent. Would Soto in Hollywood be entertaining, though? Depends on who you ask.

Landing Soto the winter after snagging Ohtani would be the biggest "Let them eat cake move" that the Dodgers could do. L.A. has the most abundant collection of talent in baseball, so if you're the kind of person that roots for the house to win in blackjack or for the Empire to defeat the Rebel Alliance in Star Wars, then yeah, Soto in Dodger blue would be right up your alley.

For fans of MLB's other 29 teams, this move would only solidify the Dodgers as baseball's biggest villain, and there's a good argument to be made that such a scenario would absolutely be entertaining. Fans turned out in droves to root against the LeBron-Wade-Bosh Heat, for example. Watching the rest of baseball try to topple the new Evil Empire would put butts in seats.

5. San Diego Padres

We've already discussed a possible Soto-Nationals reunion, but what if he came back to the Padres? He probably still has a storage unit close to Petco Park. Soto returning to San Diego would be entertaining for the whiplash of it all, and the hilarity of imagining the Yankees trading a bunch of prospects for a one-year loan.

The Padres are red-hot right now, but they'd really be giving the National League fits with Soto. Even last year, all the advanced metrics on the Padres indicated that they were much better than their actual record. Now that positive regression is coming to fruition, imagine what they could do with their newfound confidence AND one of the best hitters in the game to go with Fernando Tatis Jr., Jurickson Profar, and rookie wunderkind Jackson Merrill.

Padres president of baseball operations AJ Preller has managed his roster like a fantasy manager with an itchy trigger finger, but it's hard to argue with the results. Trade for Josh Hader, then let him walk in free agency. Watch Blake Snell win the Cy Young, then make little to no effort to bring him back. Trade away Soto in the offseason, then become buyers at the deadline. After all that, somehow, they're only two games behind the almighty Dodgers.

There's no move that fantasy managers would identify with more than trading a player away, then having seller's remorse and bringing him back. Soto always seemed like he enjoyed his time in San Diego. Bringing him back would be highly entertaining.

4. New York Yankees

The best part of slotting the Yankees in at number four is imagining how angry Yankees fans will be to find out. That's entertainment in and of itself.

In all seriousness, though, it would be a shame to break up the prolific partnership of Soto and Aaron Judge. Soto is a perfect fit for the dimensions of Yankee Stadium, and the fans have loved watching him. He's been nothing but complimentary of his time in the Big Apple, even though his unwillingness to commit to an extension has frustrated fans.

Many of the best players in baseball history have thrived in Yankee pinstripes. Soto is one of the best in the game, and unlike other players that have crumbled under the big city lights, he's thrived. The Yankees have had their ups and downs this season, yet they're still very much in the race for baseball's record. Soto deserves a lot of credit for that. Why fix what isn't broken? Baseball is better when the Yankees are good.

3. Kansas City Royals

Every baseball fan loves a good curveball, so here's my best attempt at the old Uncle Charlie. The Royals aren't even mentioned on Heyman's list, but they should be. The small-market team signed budding superstar Bobby Witt Jr. to an 11-year contract with an AAV of over $26 million this past offseason, and the dividends have been immediate. Kansas City already has 10 more wins than it managed all of last year, in 41 fewer games. That's good enough to make them the third Wild Card team as of now.

The Royals ascendance hasn't been a fluke, as in addition to Witt and Royals lifer Salvador Perez, the pitching staff has been phenomenal, with four starters sporting an ERA of 3.50 or less. Seth Lugo and Cole Ragans figure to be Cy Young finalists, and both will be in Kansas City for at least two more years.

Kansas City needs to strike while the iron is hot. Soto's contract will be exorbitant, but owner John Sherman, who took over the team in 2019, showed in locking up Witt that he's committed to ending the culture of losing that's existed since K.C. won the World Series in 2015. If the Royals keep up their current pace, this will be their first winning season since their title year. Adding Soto would entrench them as a serious contender for the next half-decade, and it would be refreshing to see the little guys finally score a marquee free agent.

2. New York Mets

Call the Mets whatever you will, just don't ever call them boring. What other franchise could successfully bring Grimace back into mainstream popular culture? No other team toes the line between potential juggernauts, total weirdos, and utter laughingstocks like the Amazins do. Would Soto break the home run record if he wore blue and orange, or would he take a bad step off a subway platform and never be seen again? Only the Mets could inspire such questions.

Mets owner Steve Cohen is the richest owner in baseball, but despite his best efforts, he's been unable to convince the best players in the game to take his money. Just this past offseason, Cohen never really had a shot at Shohei Ohtani, and he lost out on Yoshinobu Yamamoto despite pulling out all the stops in his recruitment. Successfully poaching Soto from the crosstown Yankees would make up for past misses and then some.

Soto has already proven that he can get it done in New York, but if wins a title with the Yankees, he'd be another name on a long list. Deliver a championship to Flushing and he would become a legend.

1. Boston Red Sox

Yankees fans don't like the Mets, but it's more of an older brother/younger brother situation due to the lopsided power dynamic that has existed nearly unbroken since time immemorial. There are no such familial bonds between New York and Boston, however. Yankees fans hate the Red Sox, which is why there would be no greater insult to the Bronx Bombers and their faithful than for Soto to take his talents to Fenway Park.

The Red Sox have been unexpectedly competitive this year, and they currently sit just outside the final Wild Card spot, due mostly to the outsized contributions of fellow Dominican Rafael Devers and Jarren Duran. There's no doubt that the Boston lineup could use another bat, though, especially one as potent as Soto's. He's currently enjoying the short right field porch in Yankee Stadium, but his swing would also make great use of Pesky's Pole.

The Yankees-Red Sox rivalry is still baseball's best, but it could use a little juice. Soto defecting to Beantown would make Yankees fans crazy, so while every choice on our list has its merits, this is the most entertaining option.