Roundtable: Halloween costumes for the NBA’s rookies and sophomores

We get it, rookie and sophomores — the NBA season is three days young and you have far too much on your plate to even think about creative Halloween costumes. Like, Kristaps, you’re facing the Spurs on Monday. Just ask Kevin Durant what Kawhi Leonard does to lanky forwards with silky jump shots. It’s not pretty. So, with that in mind, we came up with a few ideas for y’all, free of charge. You can thank us later.

Trevor Magnotti (@IllegalScreens): Kristaps Porzingis was definitely the 2015 NBA Draft prospect with the biggest cult following. And Halloween has many cult classics attached to it, so it seems fitting that we dress up the Zinger based on a monster with a huge cult following.

Given Kristaps’s build, I can’t think of a better fit than Slender Man.

Slender Man is an internet sensation prominently featured on YouTube in the video series Marble Hornets and Tribe Twelve. He’s a tall, lanky and nimble creature who doesn’t look too threatening but has devastating powers, and most of our knowledge of him comes from grainy film. Porzingis is a tall, lanky and nimble player who doesn’t look threatening but has devastating shooting and playmaking ability, and most of our knowledge of him comes from grainy Euroleague film. It’s perfect! They even look alike.

Observe first, Normal Zingis:

Now, SLENDER ZINGIS:

Andrew Ford (@AndrewFord22): Elfrid Payton should definitely be Chuckie Finster from Rugrats. Their crazy hair is practically the same, so it would be easy for Payton to pull off, and they share more personality traits than you might think. Chuckie is often scared, as is Payton who often seems scared and hesitant to shoot because he’s not very good at it … yet.

However, Chuckie usually pushes himself to overcome his fears when his friends need him most, much like Payton is learning to do in order to make the Magic tick since he’s the head of the offense. He’s shooting more — at least when the defense gives him the midrange jumper in the pick-and-roll — because he knows the team needs him to do so to open up the offense. Like Chuckie, Payton is a little spastic in a good way, too.

If Payton doesn’t put that insane hair to good use for Halloween, I will be extremely disappointed.

Chris Stone (@cstonehoops): This one was relatively easy to me. Justise Winslow has one of the best possible names for generating Halloween costume ideas. Sure, he could be a long lost Winslow from “Family Matters,” but I’ve got him pegged as a judge ready to lay down the law against the rest of the league. He’s already showed off his potential by yamming on three Hornets in the Heat’s opening contest.

Kyle Neubeck (@KyleNeubeck): Emmanuel Mudiay is TMNT’s Slash come to life. The formidable Ninja Turtles foe made appearances throughout the series dating back to the 1987 television show, where he was able to best all four masked reptiles in battle simultaneously. No appearance, however, is more infamous than his cameo in 1992’s SNES classic, Turtles In Time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haWMxKtMtGc

Slash is an absolute bastard for newcomers. Many early stage bosses ask you to simply move side-to-side, but Slash distorts the playing field with  his movement. He blocks everything you throw at him from the front, taunting you for having the audacity to approach him head on. Let him block your attacks too often — and this is an inevitability — and he unleashes himself in an unblockable, whirling-dervish form, leaving you sprawled out across prehistoric dirt.

Watching Mudiay play, it’s fair to wonder whether he was exposed to the same radioactive ooze as Slash. He is large for a point guard, yet compact, strong enough to bully defenders even at age 19. He has the patience to probe defenses and the courage to attempt high-risk passes, a high-variance style that shows flashes of how dangerous he can be one day.

Their closest parallel, however, may be how fearsome they can me in mid-air. Coaches usually frown upon players passing in mid-air, but Mudiay may turn it into an art form.

While many players pass in mid-air out of desperation or misguided hope, Mudiay uses hangtime as a weapon. As you can see in the accompanying video, he rises with purpose, setting up his shooter with his drive to the basket.

Eventually teams will adjust to his style — and perhaps they’re already aware of it, considering Mudiay debuted with 11 turnovers. But he is quick, fearless and aware of his strength as he knifes to the basket. Even if they learn his tendencies, opponents have no pizza power-up to save them from his slicing and dicing.        

J.Z. Mazlish (@jzmazlish): Jusuf Nurkic should go as Mad Max from “Mad Max: Fury Road.” The physical resemblance is obvious, as Nurkic’s ox-like frame is awfully similar to Tom Hardy when he was cruising around the desert as Max.

Nurkic’s on court mannerisms are crazy, brash and sometimes downright insane. To live in the desert, as Max does, you need to live a little on the edge, and Nurkic has just the right amount of crazy to survive. Out in the desert only one thing matters — surviving; not too different from life inside the NBA paint, is it?

Plus, they really do kind of look alike.

Greg Mason (@votaryofhoops): Nikola Pekovic needs to look no further than his left arm to find inspiration for his halloween costume this year. The Montenegrin sports a tattoo of a sword-bearing warrior from the Medieval Battle of Kosovo standing on a bed of skulls.

He definitely has the strength to backup the costume, too. And while he might not be a rookie or sophomore, you try telling him he’s not invited to the party.