Scottie Scheffler's PGA Championship arrest is proof we are living in a simulation

I don't even know what to say anymore. Dumb people gotta work somewhere, and apparently, the dumbest human beings alive work in the security detail department of Valhalla Golf Club in Louisville. Yes, that one in Kentucky where the PGA Championship is being played this weekend. Somehow, someway, these bumbling idiots arrested and detained the No. 1 golfer in the world, Scottie Scheffler.

We now have irrefutable proof that we are truly living in a simulation. How on God's green earth does the No. 1 golfer in the world, the guy who just won the freaking Masters in Augusta only a month ago get arrested for a traffic misunderstanding ahead of day two of the second major of the season? No matter what happens in Louisville, he will still be the No. 1 golfer in the world. The other will be jobless.

I don't know if this is the most embarrassing moment in Louisville history, but it certainly makes the shortlist. Scheffler has asserted himself as the best golfer the PGA Tour has seen since Tiger Woods was in his prime. While he may not come out on top in Valhalla, which I could totally understand, does Terry Hoitz work detail here? You know, the police officer who shot Derek Jeter in The Other Guys.

Just listen to ESPN's Jeff Darlington, who was covering the major event in Louisville and saw the whole event unfold in front of him. Darlington is a professional, but he is truly in utter disbelief.

How can you have people working security detail at a golf major not know who Scottie Scheffler is?

Scottie Scheffler arrested before second round of PGA Championship

Now that I have kind of gotten my wits about me. This was the first thing I saw on Twitter this morning, and knew this is exactly what I needed entering my last day of the work week. What led to this was a complete and utter misunderstanding in a true one-off of absurd events. This feels like a scene in Arrested Development, one where Lindsay Fünke's latest fundraiser got Michael Bluth arrested.

Apparently, just up the road of the golf course there was an automobile fatality. Traffic was a mess, but golfers still had to make their way to the course ahead of their day-two tee times. All golfers were given special permission by Valhalla to make their way past security so they could get on with their job. Well, the officer may have eaten the memo like GOB Bluth out of spite of Michael, or something.

For those who don't follow golf or pay any attention to sports, Scheffler may look like an anonymous white dude with a beard. That doesn't matter, but if there is a guy who looks like a golfer trying to get onto a golf course to play golf at a golf tournament, remember Captain Gene's Be Smart speech. Terry Hoitz and Allen Gamble had issues with that back in New York. Who could forget the desk pop?

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